I tested Strep +. Other than that everything was uneventful. No exam, all stats good. Dr. Pointy Shoes still optimistic about VBAC. Really optimistic. This is so different from what the online VBAC mother local community has been chatting about, I half expected to be putting up a fight by now and looking for a different provider- but so far so good!
So now we wait. In the meantime......
I don't feel ready. I don't feel put together. My laundry is undone again. I don't have all the diapers yet. The clothes pulled from the closet are not yet bagged up to go to donation. My class isn't released to students.
It is as if all my weekend anxiety over my Lil'Bug has transformed into an full blown raging tearful pregnancy mess of OMG I am not ready yet! I am also about ready to burst.
Part of it is cabin fever. Part of it is real. Part of it is hormones. Part of it is just everything being overwhelming.
And I know we are not using a nursery, but I totally see how that helped me prepare for Lil'Bug emotionally in a way that I have not done with June Bug. There is no way I am going out and purchasing a room suite to satisfy this either. That would be stupid. I have everything I need, really (except the last 1/2 of the diapers and a washable pail liner). I even bought a Moby Wrap on clearance so I have a 3rd baby carrier option.
But still panic, panic, panic.
Through it all Dearest Husband has been wonderful. He stopped and bought onsies, socks, hats and a diaper pail (a step pedal kitchen can really) on his way home from work. We moved the dresser we use as a changing table into the bathroom and strapped the changing pad to it. He planted the tomatoes, I planted the beans. Those little things have helped me feel more ready, but still.
We still need a name.
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Just wait on the name-you'll see that baby and you'll know what to call her. Somehow Andrew intuitively knew Asher would be a such a happy little boy, thus his name. I was lost.
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as diapers, if you do still need some smalls come baby arrival date, we are totally out of our smalls, so you are more than welcome to borrow them if you don't mind some boyish colors (though they totally work both ways cause I had Liv in his Meds for awhile).
If we ever get rain, I'll come see you ....;)
Hang in there-its getting close!
I had a friend tell me once that she was feeling the exact same way with her second one. I don't have any words of wisdom but I bet Abby is right and when you look at her you'll know her name.......
ReplyDeleteI had 4 babies in 4 years. (now 9-13) You are NEVER ready for any past the first. Does Laundry ever get done? (I doubt it-not at my house anyway). My first had a nursery. The other three stayed in a bassinette in our room. It worked best and kept the baby from waking up the other baby and vice versa. As for a name you will figure that out when needed. You love the baby just the same no matter what the name. I have a friend with 5 kids and two left the hospital without names because they had expected boys! The babies eventually did get beautiful names, perfect for them and have grown up to be wonderful people. Anxiety is normal and so is the feeling you should be more prepared but when the time comes, nothing else will matter but a safe delivery and a healthy baby! Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.
ReplyDeleteITA...I was only *really* ready for Naturalist. When the others came, I felt like it was totally by the seat of my pants kind of deal. Then I realized, with more than one, everything is kinda like that. :)
ReplyDeleteI was Strep + with Sassy. I totally didn't expect to be, since I wasn't with anyone else. It freaked me out, but everything was fine. I *may* have been a little obsessive, though, in the delivery room. "I"M STREP POSITIVE!" over and over so everyone knew.
The name will come when it's ready, just like June Bug. :)