Reverse psychology is lying. Lying and manipulating. The term just makes me shudder, especially when used in reference to an act of parenting.
I will never use it on my kids. It's mean and it undermines trust. Actually it is mean BECAUSE it undermines trust.
We use it in play sometimes, like saying that Burek was caterpillar, but even then it backfires sometimes. It is just a tool. Some tools should not be used for some things, like making people do what you want them to.
Thursday 4 March 2010
Reverse Psychology is Stupid and Harmful
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Wednesday 3 March 2010
Thoughts on Diversity in the Classroom
My Dearest and I were "discussing" the Playscape post a while back. He is totally on board with homeschooling but thinks perhaps our homeschooling group is not as "diverse" as we would experience in a public school classroom. This conversation was almost 2 years ago and has languished in my draft box.
Hmmmm.
Here's the thing. I don't think, because of the nature of geographic assignment that classrooms are all that diverse. I mean, I may encounter a Muslim kid, but when would I get to experience his culture/religion? Religion and religious influenced culture is taboo in public school, no? And a show and tell one time deal isn't really experiencing it. You may have a black kid or an Asian kid or a Latino kid, but really, if they go to your school they are likely the same socioeconomic class as you, watch the same cartoons, wear the same clothes. How diverse is that really? At that age it is all about fitting in and assimilating. Finding cultural identity and making it a signature doesn't come until later, typically.
The point I am trying to make is that if I were to send my kid to public school so she can meet people of "color" or those with different religions, perhaps a re-thinking of the way my family lives should be considered too (not instead). All the public schools but two I attended had middle and upper class white kids. If there were kids of other backgrounds they were not in the honors classes I was assigned to. Not really a diverse experience, actually a very deep rooting of class (monetary) segregation where the parents' accumulation of wealth=opportunity and privilege. If a poor kid managed to somehow make it into these classes, that poverty was guarded and hidden, lest the peer group were to find out. Social diversity needs should be met as a family and not in the context of a bunch of immature age peers who do not have the tools to deal with differences when and if they arise. Don't get me started on how the school let everyone else know who the free lunch kids were. It was humiliating at best.
I also think that diversity is so much more than ethnic food or cultural traditions. Age and economics are important too. Recently a group function we attend decided the once all inclusive class should be divided into age groups. 20-40's all together, 40-60's, and 60+'s. That frustrates me more than the similar age groupings they did for the kids. I have more in common with the 40+ folks than the individuals nearer my age. I really believe that we all benefit from learning with and from people of all ages. Our society separates us too much as it is, why continue to do it when we have a choice!? People learn differently when in a diverse age range group. Setting us with our age peers does not level the playing field, it only gives unfair advantage to some. Perhaps that is the intention.
Recently Lil'Bug was really unhappy in her art class so I suggested to the teacher that the later class, the more advanced one would be better for our schedule. She was reluctant because the kids are all older....but allowed a trial. After ONE class it was obvious that it was a better fit for Lil'Bug. Not skill level, but socially. She just feels more comfortable with kids in her own linguistic skill range and sometimes the little kids just frustrate her. She knows this. She communicates it very clearly, which is sort of a factor of the dynamic.
Thinking about it, that art class IS pretty diverse and so is our homeschool group. More diverse than any classroom I ever sat in. Anyway, those are just my thoughts today.
Hmmmm.
Here's the thing. I don't think, because of the nature of geographic assignment that classrooms are all that diverse. I mean, I may encounter a Muslim kid, but when would I get to experience his culture/religion? Religion and religious influenced culture is taboo in public school, no? And a show and tell one time deal isn't really experiencing it. You may have a black kid or an Asian kid or a Latino kid, but really, if they go to your school they are likely the same socioeconomic class as you, watch the same cartoons, wear the same clothes. How diverse is that really? At that age it is all about fitting in and assimilating. Finding cultural identity and making it a signature doesn't come until later, typically.
The point I am trying to make is that if I were to send my kid to public school so she can meet people of "color" or those with different religions, perhaps a re-thinking of the way my family lives should be considered too (not instead). All the public schools but two I attended had middle and upper class white kids. If there were kids of other backgrounds they were not in the honors classes I was assigned to. Not really a diverse experience, actually a very deep rooting of class (monetary) segregation where the parents' accumulation of wealth=opportunity and privilege. If a poor kid managed to somehow make it into these classes, that poverty was guarded and hidden, lest the peer group were to find out. Social diversity needs should be met as a family and not in the context of a bunch of immature age peers who do not have the tools to deal with differences when and if they arise. Don't get me started on how the school let everyone else know who the free lunch kids were. It was humiliating at best.
I also think that diversity is so much more than ethnic food or cultural traditions. Age and economics are important too. Recently a group function we attend decided the once all inclusive class should be divided into age groups. 20-40's all together, 40-60's, and 60+'s. That frustrates me more than the similar age groupings they did for the kids. I have more in common with the 40+ folks than the individuals nearer my age. I really believe that we all benefit from learning with and from people of all ages. Our society separates us too much as it is, why continue to do it when we have a choice!? People learn differently when in a diverse age range group. Setting us with our age peers does not level the playing field, it only gives unfair advantage to some. Perhaps that is the intention.
Recently Lil'Bug was really unhappy in her art class so I suggested to the teacher that the later class, the more advanced one would be better for our schedule. She was reluctant because the kids are all older....but allowed a trial. After ONE class it was obvious that it was a better fit for Lil'Bug. Not skill level, but socially. She just feels more comfortable with kids in her own linguistic skill range and sometimes the little kids just frustrate her. She knows this. She communicates it very clearly, which is sort of a factor of the dynamic.
Thinking about it, that art class IS pretty diverse and so is our homeschool group. More diverse than any classroom I ever sat in. Anyway, those are just my thoughts today.
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Tuesday 2 March 2010
Freezer Meal Friday
Freezer meal Friday is a good thing for me for a couple reasons....a day out with mama's in the winter when park day is on hold for our normal homeschool crew, meals in the freezer for when farm life gets busy and frozen pizza would be the usual.
One great thing about the group is really the space. Abby has a HUGE kitchen with lots of light and counter top and an even bigger playroom for the kiddos to run and play and imagine and make messes and.....and Abby just lets us all in to create 36 meals and chaos.
That's right. 36 meals. 6 for each family. Whew we do a LOT of cooking! We share with each other cooking and spicing techniques. I learned last time how to best mince a garlic clove (and work out some aggression to boot). We've shared recipes and heartbreak and ideas and joy. Check out the awesome apron Sarah R. has on while she rolls the Burek.....Abby made it!
A couple years ago I was in an interesting place. I spent some time last week reading early blog posts of mine. Our journey from urban pioneer to actually working the farm, our journey from one child to two, the journey of homeschooling......not everything was easy. Finding our place, our calling was tough. Really coming to know my own heart was harder than I ever imagined. Through the grief and heartache of losing one friend, I found several new ones that form a community, share my values, and also challenge me to be a better person, to learn, and to continue my journey well equipped.
Sarah D. and her daughter are making calzones. We had extra eggs and so we brought them! Sarah and I were pregnant with our youngest girls at the same time, almost at the hospital at the same time. She checked out as I checked in.
Quite honestly, the answers to my heartfelt prayer during that difficult time. I prayed to find a friend or two that would value me, that I could confide in, that I could dream with, that I could be inspired by, and wouldn't mock me. Everyday I find new reasons to be thankful for the blessing that these ladies are in my life. Thank you God! Pictured below is Ebersole beef. I met Shanen last year at a cloth diaper group. I still have no idea why I went, I really didn't need a support group to diaper my baby, but I met Shanen! She's cattle rancher extrodinary, and her beef is amazing!
This time is good for my girls too. They get to play and to help if they want. They get to see healthy relationships that we work hard to grow and they model their own after our examples. I don't have a picture of her on here, but new to the Freezer Meal Friday is Diana. I met Diana in birthing class when I was pregnant with Blueberry. Years before we moved to the farm!
I wanted this post to just be a picture essay, but I got a little carried away. I am just so incredibly thankful.
One great thing about the group is really the space. Abby has a HUGE kitchen with lots of light and counter top and an even bigger playroom for the kiddos to run and play and imagine and make messes and.....and Abby just lets us all in to create 36 meals and chaos.
That's right. 36 meals. 6 for each family. Whew we do a LOT of cooking! We share with each other cooking and spicing techniques. I learned last time how to best mince a garlic clove (and work out some aggression to boot). We've shared recipes and heartbreak and ideas and joy. Check out the awesome apron Sarah R. has on while she rolls the Burek.....Abby made it!
Sarah D. and her daughter are making calzones. We had extra eggs and so we brought them! Sarah and I were pregnant with our youngest girls at the same time, almost at the hospital at the same time. She checked out as I checked in.
Quite honestly, the answers to my heartfelt prayer during that difficult time. I prayed to find a friend or two that would value me, that I could confide in, that I could dream with, that I could be inspired by, and wouldn't mock me. Everyday I find new reasons to be thankful for the blessing that these ladies are in my life. Thank you God! Pictured below is Ebersole beef. I met Shanen last year at a cloth diaper group. I still have no idea why I went, I really didn't need a support group to diaper my baby, but I met Shanen! She's cattle rancher extrodinary, and her beef is amazing!
This time is good for my girls too. They get to play and to help if they want. They get to see healthy relationships that we work hard to grow and they model their own after our examples. I don't have a picture of her on here, but new to the Freezer Meal Friday is Diana. I met Diana in birthing class when I was pregnant with Blueberry. Years before we moved to the farm!
I wanted this post to just be a picture essay, but I got a little carried away. I am just so incredibly thankful.
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Sunday 28 February 2010
Snowed.....
And when it all melts it will flood. It is predicted that most of Iowa will be under water if the melt happens too quickly. We're high enough up I think to not worry about our house and our road is an official detour during floods, but a lot of area around us is a flood plain and a marsh designated for the purpose of flood basin. The ground will be saturated for Spring planting. These things are all issues that will affect our farm.
So much snow. More on its way. Last year we maybe got 2 inches TOTAL accumulation. I could have swept the driveway with a corn broom. This year? I broke the 4WD going in and out of the freaking driveway. So all my cheery, "I "heart" the snow!" bit me in my cheery cheeks. Thanks karma. You know what? I still love the snow.
I love the view from our living room windows. I love tromping out in/through knee deep drifts to gather half a dozen eggs and feed my layers. I love the feel of the winter air on my face and the depth of the stars at night. I love that we can eat snow and not worry so much about auto pollution that the city snow came down and through. This winter has had its hardships, but that is life.
The drifts are ridiculous in some places. So are the plow banks. They had to bring a special machine onto our road to widen the lane and it made the banks even higher. It's like driving inside a giant snow maze.
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
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