I was drawn to the word thrive. I kept returning to it over and over again. Still not quite right. I'm not ready to thrive yet. I am still caught up in a spiral that I need to mend. Mending? No, still not right.
Then an idea came to me. I am thinking of inspirational words. Maybe that's not what I need today, this year.
Ten. Ten minutes a day for meditation. Ten tasks towards my writing goals. Ten letters to write. Eat ten different items of food each day. Run or yoga for 10 minutes every day.
Nope still not right.
Then, as I am picking at the threads of my sweater....unravel. Yes. Unravel.
It isn't the first time I have used a negative word for my motivation. Remember sabotage? That one was a miracle worker.
This year I have a lot to untangle and unravel. Who I am, who I was. What I want, what I need. Get his voice out of my head, telling me things I am and can't be. Untangle my own voice from that narrative. Try out new things. Help my children make sense of it too. Admit how wounded I was, still am in many ways.
So my word for 2016 is unravel.
My quote for the year, my battle cry, is a revisit to a past year.
“There are no lungs like the ones that breathe poetry.”
― D. Antoinette Foy
Breathe. Poetry. Live. Poetry. Walk, eat, dream, be in the words. Every damn day. Make this life worth it. Make raking the chicken pen turn into verse, shovelling cow manure on to vegetable plots, a villainelle. Couplet cutting garden salad greens and free verse falling in love with the night sky and the moonrise can be a sonnet, maybe just maybe fourteen lines would be enough this time. Maybe.
My song for the year? Renegades X Ambassadors
I love this song for many reasons, but mostly the sound of it. Go forth and have no fear.