I've been reading Lynn Truss's book Talk to the Hand; it is about modern manners and the disintegration of polite exchange between human beings. She contends that we establish personal boundaries by being polite. The chapters I just finished were about Thank You and I am Sorry.
My thoughts: I wish I was better at writing Thank You cards/notes. I love getting them, but I never remember to send them. I have 100+ cards in a drawer ready for use but I always forget. I try really hard to say thank you in person, face to face. I also try to show my gratitude in other way, like returning the favor or kindness or by random acts of kindness (to show my gratitude of life). Grateful people are happy people because the appreciate the small things and happy is contagious.
Sometimes it is hurtful when I do something really big and hard and the person doesn't say thank you. Every time I babysat as a teenager, if the kids were older, I would clean the kitchen and help the kids pick up their rooms. People like to come home to clean rather than chaos. As an adult, I decided the same was true for vacationing friends. My sister cleans house when she dog sits for us. It's nice. I love it. I do it for others. When they don't notice or say thank you, it hurts a little. I have to ground myself and remind the inner me that I didn't do it for the reward of a vocal "thank you", I did it to be nice.
However, I want my daughter to say thank you. I want her to learn gratitude and understand the work that goes in to seemingly small kindnesses.
I also want her to say I am Sorry and mean it. I am constantly apologizing for everything to people, "Sorry, I talked your ear off," "Sorry, I vomited on you," "Sorry, I didn't see you there!" AND the big, hard one, "I am sorry I hurt you or your feelings." This week had the realization that I can count on my fingers the times that someone has apologized TO me. Friends and family that is. Why is taking personal responsibility for your own actions so hard? Why is acknowledging the affect those actions/choices have on others so hard?
I started paying attention to how people apologize: "I am sorry you are hurt by what I said," is not the same as "I'm sorry I hurt you." or "I am sorry I said that."
Then I heard this, "Be the change you want to see...."
Ok. Here goes.
Wednesday 22 August 2007
Berry Queen Blizzard
Oh wow. We had a blast today! The "pick your own" finally re-opened and they had red, red raspberries- Lil'Bug's favorite! Yum. We picked and picked and wore our selves out and then ate and ate. They had early apples too. It was a really good day. She learned all about what bugs are a problem for the plants and how to tell if the berry is ready to be picked. We tasted the varied shades of pink to red to purple. Yum.
Tuesday 21 August 2007
Teaching Meme
I know that being tagged for something shouldn't make me so happy, but it does. It really does. Thank you Heather.
1. I am a good teacher because…I'm not. I have much to learn, but thankfully my student is the best teacher and I'm along for the ride.
2. If I were not a teacher I would be a…A teacher. I'm a college professor in my other life and it is what I wanted to do before Lil'Bug was in the picture.
3. My teaching style is…Right now, it is unschooling. It works for us. Perhaps when she demonstrates a need or desire for structure we will take on what she wants. Right now she learns best by exploring. If I had to name something closer to a method, she's Charlotte Mason leaning.
4. My classroom is…Life. The way we live is not typical, but we do a lot of things that encourage learning and hands on lessons.
5. My lesson plans are…all in my head. There are things day to day that I teach my little one. It takes a bit of common sense and planning to include her.
6. One of my teaching goals…To produce a thoughtful, resourceful child who loves learning as much as I do.
7. The toughest part of teaching is…learning to relax. I am so insecure sometimes and it doesn't take much for a comment to shake my confidence. Then it takes me too long to re-balance my confidence. I need to be the steady one for my Lil'Bug.
8. The thing I love about teaching is…EVERYTHING! I really do. I love engaging Lil'Bug. I also love creating confidence and accomplishment for my college students.
9. A common misconception about teaching is…that it is hard. It's hard work, but its not hard. I give the teaching back to the students and facilitate their learning. Like a surgeon's assistant handing the doc scalpel, string, Hotwheels, iodine, etc.....I am there to anticipate their needs and hand over the tools. You don't need a degree to do that for your own children, though you might for a classroom of strangers and you definitely need expertise (not necessarily schooling) for highly advanced levels.
10. The most important thing I have learned since I started teaching is…to be less judgemental and relaxed. I used to really get my spikes up when someone would say, "I could never do that!" about homeschooling, etc. I would want to say back to them about sending their kid to public school, etc., "I could never do that!" I would say, "It works for us," without really considering that they, too, do what works for them. I need to consider that they have researched their options and know their children well enough to make the decision for their own family. I'm quite sure that the judging we do to each other about everything is not helpful. Every single family does things their own way. If we start the stone throwing and nose holding then the idea of community is next to impossible. What do we teach our kids when we do this? This realization is not just making me a better teacher, but a better person.
I'd like to tag Needleroozer (LB). I'd love to hear your thoughts!
1. I am a good teacher because…I'm not. I have much to learn, but thankfully my student is the best teacher and I'm along for the ride.
2. If I were not a teacher I would be a…A teacher. I'm a college professor in my other life and it is what I wanted to do before Lil'Bug was in the picture.
3. My teaching style is…Right now, it is unschooling. It works for us. Perhaps when she demonstrates a need or desire for structure we will take on what she wants. Right now she learns best by exploring. If I had to name something closer to a method, she's Charlotte Mason leaning.
4. My classroom is…Life. The way we live is not typical, but we do a lot of things that encourage learning and hands on lessons.
5. My lesson plans are…all in my head. There are things day to day that I teach my little one. It takes a bit of common sense and planning to include her.
6. One of my teaching goals…To produce a thoughtful, resourceful child who loves learning as much as I do.
7. The toughest part of teaching is…learning to relax. I am so insecure sometimes and it doesn't take much for a comment to shake my confidence. Then it takes me too long to re-balance my confidence. I need to be the steady one for my Lil'Bug.
8. The thing I love about teaching is…EVERYTHING! I really do. I love engaging Lil'Bug. I also love creating confidence and accomplishment for my college students.
9. A common misconception about teaching is…that it is hard. It's hard work, but its not hard. I give the teaching back to the students and facilitate their learning. Like a surgeon's assistant handing the doc scalpel, string, Hotwheels, iodine, etc.....I am there to anticipate their needs and hand over the tools. You don't need a degree to do that for your own children, though you might for a classroom of strangers and you definitely need expertise (not necessarily schooling) for highly advanced levels.
10. The most important thing I have learned since I started teaching is…to be less judgemental and relaxed. I used to really get my spikes up when someone would say, "I could never do that!" about homeschooling, etc. I would want to say back to them about sending their kid to public school, etc., "I could never do that!" I would say, "It works for us," without really considering that they, too, do what works for them. I need to consider that they have researched their options and know their children well enough to make the decision for their own family. I'm quite sure that the judging we do to each other about everything is not helpful. Every single family does things their own way. If we start the stone throwing and nose holding then the idea of community is next to impossible. What do we teach our kids when we do this? This realization is not just making me a better teacher, but a better person.
I'd like to tag Needleroozer (LB). I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Monday 20 August 2007
Artistic expression expression expression expression......
I think I may have stumbled on my stumbling block and finally saw what it is that keeps tripping me. I do things 210%. I know this, I embrace this, but it may be what is hindering my progress.
For example: last night I decided the time had come to paint. I had purchased all the necessary things (brushes, paint, canvas....) and so I began. But wait, here is where it gets complicated. I needed to prime them with color. So I prime all six canvases with the same color. Efficient production. While that is setting, I step outside to get a few photos of plant shapes and lines. Good as any place to start. THEN I come in and start painting (yes, ignoring the photos entirely) not one at a time mind you....all six at the same time.
After photo 2 I realized that none of the six would be very good if I continued like this. Also, what am I going to do with six canvases all with the same teal background?
Tonight, I will work on one of them. Just one. Deciding which one will probably stop the whole process and I'll end up doing dishes, cleaning cat box, or.......blogging. :)
For example: last night I decided the time had come to paint. I had purchased all the necessary things (brushes, paint, canvas....) and so I began. But wait, here is where it gets complicated. I needed to prime them with color. So I prime all six canvases with the same color. Efficient production. While that is setting, I step outside to get a few photos of plant shapes and lines. Good as any place to start. THEN I come in and start painting (yes, ignoring the photos entirely) not one at a time mind you....all six at the same time.
After photo 2 I realized that none of the six would be very good if I continued like this. Also, what am I going to do with six canvases all with the same teal background?
Tonight, I will work on one of them. Just one. Deciding which one will probably stop the whole process and I'll end up doing dishes, cleaning cat box, or.......blogging. :)
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