Dreams and what they mean

The July before Blueberry was born I dreamt I was 5 months pregnant, on the road assigned to take pictures of pink houses, and I encountered a screech owl in a dead/charred forest. The owl was awake and alert in the daylight after I had knocked on the tree it walked out at eye level and almost nose to nose we stared at it. Then I backed off and took its picture. The baby started kicking and writhing. I walked on past to find the pink house and finish my journey. This dream sequence is still incredibly vivid in my memory almost 3 years later. The conversations I had with people along the way, each pink house I took pictures of, the editor who assigned me the project......

What does this mean?

Pink houses. Let's start with that. My Aunt owns and operates the Villa Bed and Breakfast in Galveston, TX. It is the pinkest house I have ever seen. As pictured. When she was first house hunting I found it for her on Realtor.com. She said no, no way, too pink. Sometimes we reject too quickly based on first impressions what is actually a perfect match.

When I was 4 months pregnant Dearest bought me the camera in the dream.

Owls. I love owls. Blueberry is a watcher. She reminds me very much of an owl in her personality.

I don't know. Dearest often says that the most boring thing in the world is someone talking about their night dreams. Perhaps. But I think for me, it is part of the creative process and part of reconciling reality. You know? Just a thought.

25 Farm/Life Updates

Meme style. I seem to be ok brain function wise to complete memes and facebook "twitter" so lets see if I can squeeze out a farm update that way.......

1) We are all stricken with death flu 2009. 

2) It is the first time Blueberry has EVER been sick. Before Wednesday she had never had any medication other than ora-gel. Now she has had infant Tylenol, but she didn't think it helped.

3) Blueberry decided her binky is evil. (Lil'Bug was 3 when she gave hers up and she cried and cried...it was bitten through and she threw it away herself).

4) The sunrise here never gets old. It is beautiful every day. 

5) It is neat having our Amish neighbors visit us. It's like a rift in time. I get so filled with happiness at the sight of the horse and buggies on our road. 

6) We've been invited to a local Lutheran church by some "Englisher" neighbors (that's the Amish word for what we are) and we have as of yet all been too sick to go.

7) I mentioned to Dearest that the bathtub was still draining slow and he took it apart at bedtime last week only to have the hard to find/replace pieces dissolve and crumble in his hands. Metal pipes can do that!? Luckily American Plumbing Supply in Des Moines had what we needed. I always recommend them for really hard to find things, but they really came through for us this time!

8) It finally snowed enough to get out the tractor and plow the drive!

9) The tractor died 3/4's of the way. Dead. That was the bad news Abby mentioned on FB.

10) Now we are not sure what we'll do next snowfall. Ok, actually we do. We'll be out there HAND SHOVELING.......soooooooo not looking forward to that.

11) The sunrise really never gets old! While I was writing this, it went from deep purple to brilliant pink, to that weird rainbow blue, green, yellow, now blazing ball of fire halo'ed by an ocean of lavender. I really never thought sunrises to be very poetic before living here. 

12) I have yet to capture sunrises or any other of the moments I have really wanted to share because I have been pausing to actually enjoy and savor the moments. I'm sure I'll get over that soon, but I hope not!

13) We have a pregnant opossum living in our outbuilding. They are rabies resistant and eat rodents, play dead (rather than attack) when approached, so we are going to let her stay there....until we get chickens. Opossums are actually not so good around livestock and there feces carries bad news for horses....

14) According to Lil'Bug we have a GIANT troll living in the back field. It lives in (or is?) a gigantic uprooted tree. It does look like a good home for something, maybe an ogre, but she informed me that it is a troll even though trolls usually live in water.

15) I miss baking bread. However, I think I have the kitchen design finally figured out. 

16) I think I can finish unpacking this week.

17) I bought a Calyx. I love it. Seriously. I wanted to buy from a local mom, but when I went to Tattooed Mama's house and tried on various soft structured carriers, none of them fit me secure enough because I am so petite (and in short torso'ed) and yet squishy in the middle plus Blueberry's size. She did not have a Calyx, but suggested that I look into that brand. I am so glad I did. 

18) I am wafting on the idea of retro fitting the grain bin to a chicken coop. It would be easiest, but would it be best long term? Could we change it back? Would  prefer a coup close to the orchard and garden for ease of manure distribution, chicken powered garden pest control, closer to a well pump? Just thoughts......I think we'll still use the grain bin idea though.

19) When the bathtub was out of commission, Dearest got the downstairs shower working! Yay! The drain had consisted of aluminum cans? For a day, I also had no kitchen sink drain. I had to do dishes using my four-year-old's toy storage bins. Nice. Let me tell  you, I was super nice about it. We all do our part.

20) A run down of sinks/drains that currently don't work: just the downstairs toilet and sink.....and the laundry room sink hook up is naked. The washer and dry need to switch positions, but that is not really the same thing, just annoying. Anyway, Dearest redid all the pipes/drains in the basement so that they did not pour out on the floor. That's a good thing.

21) I love this house. I love everything about it. Even the odd things like how high up on the wall the light switches are and how high the door knobs are, as if the first owners/builders were really tall people! I love the wood work, the floors, the built in storage, the fireplace, and the potential and opportunity that this place offers us.

22) Considering 21, I have had a hard time getting back to the Des Moines house to finish packing and cleaning. Now we have an open house on the 15th, so I will have to as soon as the girls are feeling better. Remember, if you know anyone who wants a HUGE Victorian in an urban neighborhood with lots of gardening space, send them that way. ;) 

23) I filled the house with smoke at dinner last night, in true Mama Podkayne culinary style. I did not, however, ruin dinner. Good, considering we had guests. ;) 

24) We bought firewood as a truckload. 

25) Blueberry is also full out crawling. She learned high 5's. I think she's almost got her first sign, more, figured out, though she only uses it when she's excited. 

As soon as I don't look like death warmed over, I plan to blog more about the Calyx with pictures. 

Running Away

A recent meme floating around got me thinking. To be more specific, some of my friends entries got me thinking. It was about sports and running. 

When I was 7 my best friend in the whole world lived behind me, across a clothesline and an alley. We were separated by more than that at school and less than that at home. At school she was athletic and well liked, but not in the gifted program. I was small, picked last at everything, and thriving in the gifted program. These demarcations defined us on the playground. 

The thing was though, I was actually good at sports. Really good. I won the free throw competition for my age group in the 4th grade. I could out shoot the big kids in any game of HORSE or PIG and I was fast. I loved soccer and was an awesome goalie. When PE time came, I was picked last at everything and trailed behind the runners during laps. Why? I think it is obvious. Edited to add****For those who don't know me, I have always been really, really much smaller than my peers. As an adult I am only 4'9". I was also poor growing up and dressed funny. Ok, I still do. Sometimes I don't even bother to match socks and I always wear them inside out, seams are itchy!

Sage asked me why one day. I had beaten her in a long sprint to get to the swings at a park, and out of breath, she wondered why I didn't run like that at school. She just didn't understand. I loved school so much, but at recess I would sit at the fence and read books. I didn't have an answer for her then. 

When we moved away the next summer I had to give up sports because in Illinois the school charged a fee and required camps. My family was too poor to afford that just for a 5th grader to play after-school basketball. So all I was left with was riding my bike around the neighborhood and the humiliating sessions of school PE. I grew to hate sports. 

I still love to run and swim, but I loathe "working out", I will never jog, and the mere thought of going to a gym makes me want to vomit. We don't own a treadmill because the going joke is that we already pay (in taxes) for the public sidewalks plus you get the benefit of fresh air. If I have extra energy to spare, I use it to mop and vacuum and haul bins to storage. Yard work is awesome too. The thought of walking to nowhere seems silly.

And yet, I totally get the whole working out/sports drive. It feels good, it is alone time, and it is lovely to feel so perfectly human. I just can't run on demand. 

So that got me thinking about unschooling. I've mentioned before that I am a product of the public schools and also that I have unschooled myself my whole life. That duality is similar to my friendship with Sage. School was a refuge from my turbulent home life, but so was my own imagination. I could run like the wind when not confined, I devoured books, and loved the sunshine, but in school I did what I had to, excelled, but it was simply a way to spend time in between my other life. It changed how I viewed myself and changed how I found joy in things.

Lil'Bug loves her art classes. She is learning and working with mediums I cannot provide her here at home, but I can't help but notice that her creativity with her at home artwork has changed. It is not as free, not as expressive. Maybe that change would have happened naturally, but I can't help but wonder if the situation of sitting with peers and seeing what they are doing and coloring inside the lines on demand isn't changing her view of herself and her world, much like what happened with me and sports. 

Just thoughts......

25 Random Things, ala Grub House!

Thanks Heather for posting this challenge, though you didn't tag me......I'm in need of a meme that doesn't require full paragraph formation....

1. Kool Aid grosses me out.
   
2. I want to dye my hair purple. Deep, dark, velvety purple. 
3. My favourite colour is blue-grey, but I don't like wearing it or painting rooms with it. I love it in flowers, my daughters' eyes, and in sunsets. 
4. I like using British spellings of words. 
5. I hate talking on the phone and I avoid it whenever possible. I only have 6 contacts in my phone. If I have called you in the last month, you are likely one of the 6. 
6. I love Iowa Chops and my secret seasoning is awesome on them. 
7. It bugs me that people think I am a city creature and will suffer the farm life. I lived on a farm as a kid, burned trash, mucked out chicken houses, shot at things with a gun for target practice, sat in the fire truck during forest and prairie fire calls, and slept outside to watch the stars. Farm life is exactly what I expected. 
8. I would also like to wear interesting jewelry but I hate wearing jewelry. I wear my wedding ring only. Sometimes a watch, sometimes a pendant, but sometimes is so very rare. 
9. I don't wear make up either.
10. I also don't wear sunscreen. 
11. I need a new tea pot. One that I can clean and is big. Then I will also get a tea pot cozy.
12. I love, go weak kneed at, big Victorian mansions. I get breathless. I don't ever want to live in one though. Haunted Mansion was close enough. Farm house is a perfect fit for me, balancing the practical with the beautiful. 
13. I moved to Iowa when I was 16, a junior in high school, and I never got to say goodbye to my best friends in Illinois. One of them contacted me last week after 15 years. Now the other three are also on facebook, but I'm not sure what to say to them now. 
14. My sister is getting married in July of this year! I have no idea what to wear to the wedding or what to get her as a present. I am super happy she did not ask me to be in the wedding party, even though I love her soooo much. 
15. I have a new sewing machine I've never used. I want to. I am afraid of the machine.
16. I love old science fiction. I am giddy that I get to teach it this semester. 
17. My favorite movie is Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. 
18. I've been in a plane crash. 
19. I have little patience with stupid people, less with mean people, and even less with a stupid, mean, know it all that I know. She's smart, but vain about it to the point of being unable to admit she's wrong. I hate this because I recognize it in myself sometimes. 
20. I've had my writing published, poetry and essays. I wish I had time to be more proactive about my work now. 
21. I am fascinated by bees.
22. I drink my tea with honey. White sugar bothers me now in a way that it did not before.
23. My car is currently so dirty the license plate is unreadable. 
24. I once caught and kept a wild snake as a pet. Not a garter snake either. It was a three foot long Bull Snake, that might have actually been a Black Pine Snake. I let it go after a week. 
25. When Lil'Bug and I read the description of a changeling in her faerie field guide she thought the description fit her baby sister (because of the hair) and secretly I felt it fit me. I've always been a bit odd, able to spout information about complicated and historical things (American History, Architecture, educational philosophies) and yet fascinated with the everyday mundane simple things like watch gear mechanics, bread baking, and paper. I have zero fashion sense, often wearing unmatched socks, and bad hair. Add that to my very small stature and I've always been the odd one out.  

There 25 things. That was hard!