Family Music

Malls, Mothering, and More

Today we met with the doula. Very cool. I will actually have 2 doulas this time, but C. is the doula that attended Lil'Bug's birth. We got caught up and such. Good stuff.

Then Lil'Bug got an idea in the afternoon: she wanted to buy Daddy a gift, with her own money, and her own choosing. I agreed and off we went to the mall. Gah. I hate malls. I hate malls more at holiday madness time. The crowds, the noise, the sensory overload of perfume and frantic tension, and all of the other things that go with mallness totally induce panic in me. I can navigate it better than in past years especially if my focus is on Lil'Bug but it is not something I would do casually. At the mall she chose her gift, I went after the clearance shoes previously mentioned (now marked down to 9$!!!!), and we headed for the pseudo-playground known as the playplace.....

There was an incident involving parents behaving badly and overreacting. So we left and did something else. She was on the verge of tears on the way home- insisting that she didn't do what they said.

I believe her. I also think that it was a matter of miscommunication. She was touching or trying to move a littler kid- they say "pushing"- she says, no, moving. Matter of words and exact definition. I still think they were overacting. Also, not cool to touch my kid. Very not cool to pick her up. Yelling? Argh. Grrrr.

Where does that leave us? I left not as a punishment to her, but to remove her from a situation where two adults were losing their cool. My assessment was that it was not a safe environment because of the adults. She asked if we would ever go back. I don't know. I prefer play arrangements where she knows the children involved and the parents know us. The whole thing leaves me unsettled. Usually it's me with the good kid, today it was other parents labeling her and us as "bad". Yuck. I'd like to chalk it up to holiday tensions. She's a lively, funny, outgoing kid. She plays like she is. The pushing, shoving thing really bothers me. She used to be a biter too but outgrew that. I think that she will outgrow this as well, but I dislike the situations that arise: her lying (to try and avoid unwanted consequences), her hurting. I kept my cool. That's good (and a first) but I don't think I communicated with Lil'Bug exactly how I wanted to or should have.

I hate malls.

Oh Christmas Tree!

Motherhood Shopping Musings

I bought jeans at the local Motherhood store. They were $16. Whoo Hoo! I thought since I saved so much that I would look around. The sales lady pointed at some sweaters and then, very kindly, pointed out that my underbelly was already sticking out of my current ensemble, perhaps I'd consider a sweater or top to go with my jeans? I was mortified. I had no idea that bare skin was hanging out below my sweater. Really, with the new jeans and the belly panel it is not an issue, but for my underbelly pants it is. Gah. She was so nice about it, but still.

This week I plan to sort my closet and find the bigger sweaters that I know I have. No need to spend additional money on clothes that are one season! Did you know on the list of must haves for expecting mother's wardrobe is a BOW FRONT SHIRT! I mean that is so 1970's isn't it? Yes, the ugly giant bow on the front of an empire waisted shirt in some pastel puke color. Fine if you like that sort of thing, but why is it on the must have list with jeans and underwear? LOL. So I have jeans. I will wear them almost exclusively until the end when I turn into a giant hippo and then I will find a mu-mu. Last time the one I had was butter yellow and my family called me the butter cow. It was too funny.

I just priced cloth diapers and while they are cheaper than disposables in the long run, the up front cost is daunting. I figure that we will likely do a hybrid use approach. Did you know that you are supposed to flush poop out of the disposables before tossing them in the diaper pail? No seriously. I did not know that nor do I know anyone who used disposables that did that. But it is true, it says so one on their website and packaging. Apparently it is not just the plastic and space consumption in the landfill that is bad, but the watershed contamination with fecal. I had a student in the nursing program write a paper about it this semester- fascinating stuff.

So I've decided to register for stuff after all- just not sure how or where just yet. There is time after all! I want to see how much I can get at Spring garage sales first.