Pretty Pictures for Wordless Wednesday?

Party! (and some stuff)

We hosted our local all inclusive homeschooler group's monthly meeting at our home yesterday afternoon. We all had a blast. Great Grandma came too. I hope she had fun! We did a cookie exchange, the kids played and played, and the moms gathered to have tea in the kitchen. I so needed an afternoon just like this. It refreshed me and, though I went to bed with a pounding headache, my heart was not as heavy.


Of course I made the prediction that the weather weenies (our local meteorologists) were over reacting yet again and the coming storm would not be anything. I was soooooo wrong. Even my dearest husband's work was closed down (sort of) and that NEVER happens (though, the malls only closed early....). It's not the 3-5 inches of snow, it is that it rained first on top of the snow we already had making a fun layer of jagged ice, power outages, and then the 3-5 inches of wet heavy snow on top of that. It still doesn't feel like an old fashioned Iowa blizzard to me, but I will concede that it is dangerous to go out in these (beautiful) conditions.


Then, my husband also has earned some acknowledgement: on Sunday he finished my fireplace, went to band practice, grocery shopped for my shin dig, and then stayed up until midnight baking cookies for my part of the exchange. I played with Lil'Bug amidst concerns that I would not get the house "party" clean. Yup, I finished cleaning just as the first knock on the door greet us. ;) That's just how I roll. Here is his handiwork:

Before

AFTER!

Holiday Angst

This weekend has not been very good. I worked on grading finals, I fixed more computer-y bugs in my class software (ok, compensated for them), and basically stomped around full of anger.

I wish that this time of year I could zen my way out of these feelings and be the peaceful mama that I know I can be. The inner turmoil has been terrible this year. The Omaha mall shootings triggered it. Of the terrible things in my past, I can include surviving and witnessing a terrible crime- I know first hand that the survivors and witnesses will suffer more in the coming years than the gunman ever felt in his teenage angst. PTSD is an easier label but it is not so easy to live with. Pray for them and their families and then pray that you and your loved ones never suffer so.

Then this time of year always brings the recourse of the hard decision we made years ago: to cut off contact with my former abusers. They are family and many of the rest of my family call my very hard decision a feud and tell me to get over it, to grow up, to move on. That angers me. I have grown up and in growing up I choose not to allow people, regardless of some biological link, to treat me in such horrible ways, to allow the abuse to continue in any form or expose my children to such behaviors. That means for me that beloved cousins and aunts and uncles do not visit us when they come to town, they do not call anymore. For some it is easier not to believe me or to "put family" and loyalty first. What am I exactly, chopped liver? It is the last vestige of how the abusive people can wield their power of hurt. For some reason, it is only at the holidays that these feelings overwhelm me.

Right now I am extremely over sensitive and touchy. I am trying to find and inner peace and some sense of balance but it is so much harder than it sounds. So, for me it means cleaning house and baking cookies and just living life.

Piles

Piles of clean laundry waiting (wanting?) to be folded, piles of art supplies, piles of dishes, piles of cookies, piles of toys, piles of papers waiting to be graded in my virtual inbox (thank goodness for paperless classrooms or I'd have a fire hazard on my hands), piles of chaos.....

Pile of inconsolable tot: All of the above and Thursday's art co op got canceled. I should be grateful for the extra time, right? But for the fact that we were loading into the car when the cancel call came and he whole day had been about getting ready for it. Lil'Bug cried. Real tears. Then she was just sad the rest of the day and nothing could cheer her up. I tried really hard: hot cocoa, watching a movie, tickling....not a smile.

We got 4 inches of snow in four hours on Thursday. That's why the art day was canceled. I feel ok about driving when it rains or snows but some moms don't, I guess. I suppose it is better to be safe than sorry or liable, but that explanation didn't fly with a very sad tot. I think this cements my decision to do a regular craft/crazy day with friends here at my home. I am working on a schedule right now. Pile it on to the list of things I have to do.

Piles of snow: not much accumulation really and not the kind that's good for snow creatures either. Streets are cleared, ice is hidden, days are cold- that's Iowa.

Piles of crap: I have a super power (well, several really)- I generally can tell when people are lying. Whether it be about dog sitting or why a paper is late or anything. I guess I got this by teaching college freshmen or growing up in the environment that I did, but I wish I wasn't so blessed. It would be so much easier to just take what people say and be done with it. Sometimes it is just easier to pretend to.

Piles of art: this I can live with. I really love sitting down randomly and as time warrants and working on whatever it is: a card or two, a bead string, or a painting. This pile is welcomed.