Meet the Meat....

I've been thinking a lot lately about food budgets. My own especially since my two almost three year old has the appetite of a teenager. He eats almost as much as I do at a meal! So I thought I would go through our budget again and figure out where and when we can make improvements in both expense and quality.

To take it back I thought I would talk about meat first. About 7 years ago we started buying pork in bulk, whole animal. Then about 5 years ago we started buying beef that way too. Now we raise our own chickens, get a deer, and if we can afford it we also buy a lamb (this year we are raising lamb and maybe a beef too!). We also fish our pond for fresh fish and have duck and turkey now and then. All fresh, all local. That's a LOT of variety. This year if we had paid for our own pork as a customer, the cost for 175 lbs of meat would have been approx 614$. Our pastured beef side was $850. So pretend that we didn't get all the other meat and just bought beef and pork in bulk....that's 1464$.... 121$ per month, $35 a week for enough really good meat to host several large parties and serve T-Bones and Iowa Chops and our family eats really well, not just on sale poor quality ground meat and cheap cuts.

I get to be creative. I get to learn about new cuts of meat and how to prepare them. I get to use my heirloom cast iron skillets. My family eats well. We eat together. We eat at home.

That last bit saves us a lot of money. We eat at home. Quite often, the cuts of meat and quality of meat we eat here at home is better than what is served at the restaurants we can afford. I won't pretend I am a sous chef, but I know I have put on the table meals that were better than Cracker Barrel or Applebees menu fare. I know my Iowa Chops rival the State Fair on a stick variety (and those are really good!). Plus, this is for weeknight fare and regular breakfasts not special occasion meals.

I also know that we are paying premium price for our bulk meat and it is still cheaper than store bought. Easily found in our area are cheaper bulk rates, for example we charge $2.75 per lb hanging weight for our pork and a neighboring farmer charged $0.60 cents per lb last year. I cannot figure out how he can charge that AND pay for feed for the animal since our feed costs are double that at least.

Gun Play

My kids don't really do gun play yet, but recently there was some discussion in our local group about how natural it is- that boys will make guns out of sticks and dolls if they don't have the actual toys.

I call bullshit.

It is not human nature to play with guns. It is not part of our being or a boy's natural being. According to this website, the first gun was in China in 1232.  It wasn't until much later, hundreds of years later that guns made it to the rest of the world and until the industrial revolution era that they became more commonplace of a tool and part of military repitoir. So what did boys play with before that? If it was part of nature, an intrinsic part of their being, then they would have been playing "Bang Bang You're Dead", right?

It's not that simple. What is part of human nature is to imitate roles in our society, especially roles that are held in high regard. In earlier times that would have been the warrior (think knives, swords, clubs), the hunter, the shamen/priest/wizard......anyone that displays power and gains respect. Our times and nature are no different.

The problem isn't necessarily what the weapon of choice is but rather what the kids are learning about its power and use. Gun are now mostly used for military application, law enforcement, and crime. Rarely does entertainment (movies, tv) show self defense, hunting, or museum quality collecting/art. Gun play isn't about providing the family or community with food or even about protecting each other FROM harm- it is about harming other people.

I was watching Monk and Bones on netflix and it occurred to me: we glorify and respect the bad guys. We honor and give power to their genius. They almost outsmart the good guys or it wouldn't be a show. 99% of bad guys are not super evil geniuses but anyone watching wouldn't know that. On the shows often they are funny, attractive, and really smart. Their victims are not. What message does this send us? It is not reality. In fact, most bad guys are desperate people and not very bright and yet many of them get away with all sorts of crime before if ever getting caught, walking away when they do after a little time or fine. It's not reality we are seeing but children, how believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, think it is. The see it, they play it, they respect it because we do. That is problem.

1 hour, 10 Minutes or The Road Through the Woods

1 hour and 10 minutes is how long it takes me to get from the farm to the big city grocery store/art lessons, etc. I take the back way, not really dirt roads, just smaller highways 55 MPH speed limit just about all the way. There is another way that is mostly 70 MPH Interstate and while logic says that is easier, no thinking driving- it takes 1 hour and 45 minutes for the same point to point.

That is kind of a metaphor for the whole of our lives. We go slower, go the back way which is beautiful rolling hills, get there all the same, but happier and safer. I know too many people who choose the conventional fast way, never slow down, choose convenience over logic or common sense just because it is easier to put on cruise control and just drive, drive, drive until something stops the inertia or forces a slow down. Something like heart disease or cancer or a car crash or infertility or a sudden allergy or gall bladder attack or all of the above.

The way we eat is simpler, cheaper, but takes more thought. The clothes we buy, simpler, cheaper, but takes more effort in the finding. The way we parent is simpler, cheaper, but takes more thought and effort. The way we educate is also not mainstream. See the pattern? We still get from point A to point B, which is the goal right? Slow down, take a deep breath and just be for a bit. We take the highway sometimes too. It is all about making it work not an extreme of one over the other.

Now, we don't take back roads by horse and buggy. Obviously we have melded two worlds, two ideals and found what works for us.

We use a wood stove to heat the house and cook with, but we have the gas range and electric in the kitchen in use too. We read real paper books, but also have kindle apps on our phones and computers. This list goes on and on.

Usually, in blog essays like this, I have found that the authors tend to then get very wishy washy about not judging one way of farming/parenting/eating over another- that they are all good and we do what works for us.

That's not how I feel about it at all. Parents who physically and emotionally abuse their children do not get a free pass because it "works" for them. I feel this way about Cry It Out parenting. Not cool. Spanking, also not cool.

Diet and fat free foods are unhealthy and gross. They cause cancer and illness. Diet sodas, fat free dairy products....not good for people and I am not going to stop calling those products chemical shitstorms. I will not ever willingly or knowingly eat margarine. Butter is actually good and healthy. Still, this is not a deal breaker for me, and I generally let live on this topic.

Farming. We do not farm the way we do just because it is easier or works for us. We do it because it is ethical and we strongly believe that animals should be treated with respect and each life cared for before we earn the privilege of that animal nourishing our family or anyone's family. I will not ever say that conventional confinement pork production is fine and ok because it works for someone's family. Sure I understand that folks are in over their head in debt and need to feed and care for their kids, but that doesn't make the cruelty of the animals acceptable and I am not going to ever shut up about it. I believe in a better way and I truly think that the more we educate and demand change the more likely our dollar backed votes will create that change.

I am sick of people being luke warm on these topics, especially farming. Just because I know and you know great and wonderful caring people who farm and raise livestock in a good way doesn't mean the whole industry doesn't need a revolution. Just because those folks are good, doesn't mean they are doing good. Just because people have kids and healthcare needs does not mean that farming practices that exploit people and harm animals get a free pass.

We don't just do what works for us. We are also a voice for change. We have to be, too many people are silent on the matters that matter.

What are you using your voice for?

Severing Ties With the Past

This post is not about what you think it is about.

It is about my house. The house that is not my house anymore.

For 13 years I was the The Mistress of Hatton House. I need to let that go. I need to say goodbye to that part of my life. I still come across items and pin it thinking it would be perfect for the back parlour. The house doesn't even have the same floor plan now, and still I dream about walking the halls and the ghosts that haunted me when I lived there.

The empty rooms used to laugh at me when I cried longing for a baby. Infertility. PCOS. Broken systems. Not the right time.

I know why these themes are haunting me again.

Isaac is two and starting to wean. My body is returning to the phase that waits for the next baby to grow and come. That is no longer a possibility for us. Some people know when their family is complete, and I know ours isn't. That doesn't change the fact that in the course of three births and one tramautic delivery, the scaring and damage is too great to support life anymore. That makes me sad to the depths of my soul and brings me back to the tear filled heartbroken days that I longed to get pregnant, each month, each year, a let down after a burst of hope.

I have three beautiful children. The memories of this era are returning and I am grieving for the loss.

To let go of the Hatton House is to let go of that grief and move on. We left the house incomplete. The projects we started were not done, left in a state of not done, as we packed and moved on to our next adventures. In many ways we are still paying for that era, that education, and if asked, "Was it worth it?"  I will answer a million times, "Yes."

Our family is incomplete, not done, left in a state of not done, and yet we have packed up and moved on to our next adventures. I see the parallel. I feel it to the depth of my heart. I tremor with longing when I hold my friends' tiny new babies. This is hard to let go of.

I thought that writing about it might make the transition easier, maybe it will.