Tuesday Morning Happy

Happy Spring!

Idle/Wise

I am never idle, it seems. Even when I am still, my mind is going over emails and invoices and conversations. Thought requires this time, it feels like sometimes I am even doing this in my sleep.

Busy.

I keep myself busy. I tell myself that the good work we are doing, raising children and growing food for others in our community, is work worth my time. Oh, it is!

Still, the moments, it feels like it was just a moment, I had to myself with my own thoughts last month have stayed with me. It was in this time that I could refocus, polish, and really come to face what my goals and dreams are for my own creative being. This is important. I am an individual in a family unit and not just a collective identity. We are not a hive. Nurturing each child to be their individual person is important, but I do not have to forgo nurturing myself too (not instead of).

So today, I challenge you, what is your core being? What is your dream or goal that has lingered in a dusty box or in a drawer or on shelf in the shadows of work or motherhood? Why not take it out a bit and look at it?

Taking a moment or two for gratitude, pausing to feel the happy or the sad, just breathing....it is a necessary part of being human. Why else are we here, living this life, and given the intellect to reflect and think on it? It is in the quiet moments that poetry is happening, if only I can bridge the neurons to the ink and paper in time before the wisps are gone like warm breath into the cold winter chill.

And with that, I log off and go work on my dreams for 30 minutes. I can do that. I have that much quiet and focus left in me today. Happy is that gift of a solid block of time to work.

Happy Home

The light of day was fading, all hazy and pink as the fire set through the bare trees.

Today my happy is my husband. We did chores together, we enjoy spending time together. We don't travel together and a lot of folks have squished their noses at this. I like to travel and do things, Chad HATES travel. He has to do it for work. Now that we have kids and a farm, we just take turns going on our adventures. That works for us. When we did go places together long before we had children, we basically walked around looking for book stores and cheap but tasty food. Then kids came along and we still did that. I learned to cook, Amazon.com and kindle happened, and we moved to a farm. Yet, I still love to go other places, especially historical and artsy places. Lucky for me, kids give me a great excuse and budget for day trips! Whooo hooo!

Still, there is nothing like the happy that we have together. Quiet nights like this, though cold and wet as Spring brings us ice melt and thawing trees, are still where my heart is. What good is travel if you don't have a home to return to? I don't know, for that is not something I lack.

When I recently took a cross continent solo trip, for the first time ever, it was a surreal experience. I learned a couple cool things about myself. The first being that I am perfectly capable and competent and can make friends and comfort wherever I go. Another was that, while I could make myself at home where I landed, it was not home without Chad and the chaotic love explosion that are my children. I never had need to miss them before because they are always with me. I missed them so much it hurt my chest, especially at bedtime.
My happy is that I am blessed to know a love so fierce and wonderful.