The Spirit of the Season

This is a deep sea squid. It lives where the water pressure would kill a human being.
I am a squid.

I meant to do the 12 days of Christmas for the Holiday Spoon Club series but then our drains had a major crisis at the farm and the weather turned to freezing and then a member of our close 22q community got her angel wings. Keeping up a post a day was about all I could manage with food pictures and cute moments with my children. I was in tears so much of the time from both ends of the emotional spectrum. I don't do well in December usually, so this was past my breaking point.

Blessed I am to have friends that recognised this and were there for me. Even more, Chad recognised that I needed more from him, even though he was spending time in the mucky basement thawing the clogged pipes and doing field chores and building fences. He took the time to do dishes more than his usual turns (basically giving me a pass on dishes so far this month. Wow. He also helped me with organisation and some huge purging that we've been pretty intense with lately.

December makes me sad. It isn't just the waning daylight, the lack of fresh vegetables, that my extended family lives so farm away, that my aunt died without me ever getting to tell her how much her encouragement meant to me, or a million other things that all pile up into an emotional train wreck and leave me exhausted and on the verge of a near constant panic attack. I just want to break and smash things and sit alone in the dark with nothing but the feedback loop of self pity.

You know? Many of you do actually. That is what I am finding. So many people feel the same way, so overwhelmed and alone. What is it they say to Harry Potter? He's easier to defeat if he thinks he is alone. That.

I am not alone. I don't just mean my family or friends either. Since I began this journey back in May to reboot this blog and start writing again, (not just blogging, but to pick up poetry again too,) an amazing community of creative people have come into my life. Getting to know and having these folks cheer me on, lift my spirits, allow me to be part of their circle has been so invigorating. I feel refreshed instead of recycled. There are others who feel like small potatoes, others who are afraid to really express their inner forces, and still more who are just afraid to make the time and say this part of me is important, I am an artist. 

So this season, as we count down to Christmas and New Years, take time for your art each day. Sometimes for me that is cooking, sometimes writing, and sometimes visual arts. You know, it is also an art to just be present in the moment and that is a craft I am still working on, for the sake of my children.If I plug into the creative forces at least once a day, I feel like I can make it through the season. The writer's mind is slowly being nurtured and keeping me company through the day instead of the white noise of negative self talk.

Do go out there. Make a list of the things you meant to do- start a blog? Join Pinterest? Paint the bathroom? The dishes can wait. Create and get messy.  (Then pretty please share it here! Link in the comments!)

*The bathroom re-do starts tomorrow!

Real Christmas Trees

For folks who worry about carbon as a pollutant, disposed of correctly (such as using it for structure in the bottom of our large farm pond), the tree is a net gain for the environment in many ways. You are actually sequestering carbon, contributing to a habitat for animals in the form of the tree farm (instead of it being corn or some such), and helping the local economy.

If you heat your home with wood, burning it will be a net gain as well since there will be less pollutants than heating via coal which is probably where your electric comes from. Even if not, there are very few good technologies producing electricity for large utilities - the more localised the better.

If you have no other use for the wood, burying it would be the next best option since it will eventually break down into soil, but even sending it to a landfill would sequester the carbon in the trunk and branches, and eventually return it to the soil instead of the atmosphere. -Chad


And now for the part from Danelle-
Real tree doesn't just mean the tree part to us. It means everything, from top down. I used to go nuts with our 10 foot tall artificial tree, Nutcracker theme, 200 glass balls in 9 different colours, 10 strands of lights, everything placed just so......and then I had children. Ha.

At first I tried to compromise- the 200 glass balls went to storage and were replaced with plastic balls. That worked mostly, but 1 year in storage and they all started to smell like urine. Ew. So out those went. Then went the fake garlands and the lights burned out.

In 2009 we moved to the farm. Our first Christmas here I NEEDED a real tree. We had lived on the farm almost one year and, magically, living here cured my 30 year old chronic sinus infection that flared especially at the holidays and would turn into bronchitis too. So, maybe a real tree would no longer kill me slowly? Maybe? 

Local tree farm, for the win!

I survived. Not even a sniffle. By then we had 3 house/farm cats and a just walking 18 month old. Yikes. So no glass balls still. So many broken things. I replaced the lights with just 2 strands of LED lights. Lily and Holly started making ornaments for the tree. This has turned into something extraordinary. Now, every ornament on our tree is heirloom, a gift, or handmade by my children or someone we know. I love it like I never thought I would. Handmade doesn't always mean pipe cleaners and goggle eyes either. Look at what my 9 year old Lily made this year!

Here is our 2013 tree: From plastic balls to jingle bells and evergreens, the magic of the holiday is transforming more than what is on our tree. Our values are changing as well.

My Helper at Sample Sunday

Nutcracker Sweetie

Today was Holly's traditional day out with Mama to see the ballet. She gets excited round about July and starts bugging me to order tickets and then I forgot until last Tuesday! Ugh!

So we headed out today for our Holly Mama day. It was lovely. She is a doll and absolutely adorable. This is what she said as we walked up the lawn:

Holly: Mama! A squirrel! I didn't know squirrels could climb stairs! Oh I bet the squirrel is excited to go to the Nutcracker too! Just like ME!