Making Time for Each Child

In a special needs family the child with extra medical needs gets a lot of the attention. It is already a difficult task to balance each child's needs and individual relationships but when a child that demands extra time and attention because of real medical needs the entire balance is thrown up into the air.

We have 3 children. They each have needs, even if they are not medical. It is all about relationship.

Now that we have lived our way through a transition, we can redirect and make sure each child gets their needs met. Homeschooling really helps with this dynamic. Special moments can be caught on the wind and held for a moment, sometimes it is while washing dishes or at bedtime, or while one is running full speed on the way to deliver swiped Popsicles to her siblings.

I love you. I love watching you play.

I love watching my children fall in love with the art of their choice. For Lily it is clay work. So much clay work. We are taking mother daughter classes together at a local art studio. I am terrible at pots but I a fiercely good at loving Lily. Lily told me that she dreams of having her own studio and decided not to rent one in the building. No, she wants the whole building and she'll rent to others. Ah, my little dreamer.

For Holly it is ballet. The first time she walked into the studio, her foot touched the hard wood floors, she lit up like I have never seen before. That enthusiasm has never once waned. She LOVES ballet. Everyday. Always. Loves.

At her recital she was a ham. At the end of her class's dance she walked out to the front of the stage for a special, only Holly, with flourish bow. Because of course, she was the star ballerina in her mind. That is what she saw the lead ballerina do at the Nutcracker.

I read to her and cuddle her every chance I get.

Isaac is still letting us know what he loves. Apples. Climbing. Playing his piano. Cuddling mama.

I know these things will change and evolve. I will be here for all of it. Right here. Loving every moment, every smile, the stolen glances, the goofiness and joy. I will tell them how much joy they bring me just being in my life. I will nourish their relationships with us and with each other.

I have witnessed such tenderness that my heart has burst into tears. These people have made my life better by just being in it. Why should I hold back telling them that every single day that I am able to?

It gets complicated. Complicated to work, take care of a home, take care of their physical needs and on top of that nurture them and their passions. I prioritize. Housework, beyond basics, come last. I actually pay for someone to help me get to that. My work is online and I make the schedule around the kids and their appointments. Prioritize.

On top of all of that I make time for them. Daddy daughter night, Mama takes one kid to tea, firefly walks with flashlights with just one kid. Ballet camp and class allows me to connect with the child not in class. We talk. They take turns helping me with dishes and I tell them our heritage stories so they know the magic that they have been born out of.  I make time.

I value the outputs of their passions too. Holly's dance pictures are framed. Lily's ceramics get used. All three children have their art framed and hung up in public view. 

I value the things they make and that matters. Some houses you walk into and you know they have children but there is no evidence of children. In our home, there is mess and chaos and you KNOW we have children the minute you pull up in our drive. Our house is filled with love and joy and the joyful noise that comes with a happy, vibrant childhood. Part of that is also that we have a full range of musical instruments, both real and toys, accessible to the children.

We live a different life. I understand that. Different does not mean bad though, it means magical. When they are honoured as individuals and humans in the world, it becomes less of a challenge to make time for them or for ourselves. We are always true to what we are. They see that.

Last month Lily had a friend over and we asked her if she planned on staying up all night and complaining about her parents. She looked at us confused. Later she asked about what I had said to her. Do kids really do that? I brought them a snack and heard her telling her friend about all the amazing adventures we have and then saw me and instead of clamming up, she asked me to join their conversation.

I know it won't always be like this. Maybe? I hope that nothing ever dulls the shine of joy and curiosity from their eyes. That is my priority: to feed their faith, their curiosity, their love for each other. When that is the goal and we put all we have into that, then time is made. Time is cherished. Time slips by way too fast. I also try and make time together special so they see me honour each of them, so it is not a competition.

I try and bring the children, all the children, to at least some of Isaac's appointments. We don't hide his needs from them. Sometimes it can be scary. The reason is that if something happens to us, the parents, even in their adulthood, they will still have each other. I want them to have the kind of relationship that this is a natural part of their lives, that they would welcome it. We don't know if Isaac will be able to be independent. Right now it looks like he will. Anything can happen to any of them between now and the unforeseen future. If we make time for them, will they make time for each other later?

It is all about relationship. 

Sheep Shearing

In Iowa the summers are hot and sheep are covered in wool which makes them very uncomfortable. We shear them in June, later than I'd like, but our Springs are wet and muddy and that makes it difficult to get a good clean shear, and our shearer really prefers not to work in knee deep mud. I agree with him on that, very much.

He's really cool by the way. Throughout life we often, though not too often, encounter individuals who know something about everything and can share that in a not pompous way. This guy is one of those fantastic people. We look forward to lunch and chat with him after shearing too!

We have tried sending the wool off to process, but that was expensive. We have decided to just sell raw fleeces. When I did that with the fall lambs fleece, I sold out in a month, while I still have the processed roving from Spring of 2012 left in inventory. Granted, I do not really market or push our farm wool, I have no etsy shop, I often forget to bring it to market with me. That will improve as I get more practiced at market set up. I hope.

Anyway, here's more pictures of the process for anyone curious! 

Iced Coffee and Maple Syrup

view full image

Recipe, 1/2 gallon jar
Fill half the jar with coffee, cooled
Add 1/4 cup real maple syrup
Fill almost the rest of the jar with whole milk, leave room for ice.
Top with ice
Put lid on jar and shake

ENJOY!

An Anology

This semester I have been teaching at a local college, teaching history. I LOVE the class material. I get excited prepping lectures, finding extra resources, grading papers even.

Then I get to class and it all falls apart.

Tuesday I was so frustrated I couldn't speak for an hour, I had to hole up in my office and stew on it. Let's just say that the class crossed a line beyond bad to worse as far as student participation went and the written response from students slammed that baby home.

I prepped the lecture, created the slideshow of images last night, but without the usual excitement.

The question nagging....what am I doing wrong? I know this material. I love it. When I prep at the Pizza Hut on weekends two of the waitresses sit down with me to find out what subjects I am teaching and THEY get excited about my class material. Why am I not engaging the students?

In a last minute effort, I put out a request on FB for suggestions. Quizzes. More quizzes. Small groups......my immediate response in my head was that small groups were impossible with the set up of the classroom......

It was then that it hit me. I am falling prey to the architecture of the classroom. Let me explain.

In my own graduate thesis I discussed how architecture, how the buildings themselves not only reflected the social history of the time but also dictated it. The classroom for my class is a theatre lecture hall with me at the podium. I was trying to fill that space. Even though that is not how I best teach, not how I feel comfortable, and not how I usually communicate. It becomes a theatrical performance, easily derailed by an unresponsive audience. *(Why I quickly left the theatre track I was on as a teenager....)

I wasn't being true to myself and therefore not connecting the students to the material.

I got to the classroom today an hour early, as I usually do, but instead of unpacking notes, drawing a timeline on the chalkboard, and setting up the projector, I stood at the back of the class. How do the students see me? The podium itself blocks their view of me. If I step aside, I block the chalked up notes. The screen looks faded by the sunlight and they can't possibly even see the images I put up.

As they started to fill the seats I reorganized the class structure in my head. By the time I shut the door, I was ready.

And class was awesome.

I divided them into groups and gave them 20 minutes to prepare their group to speak on the suffrage movement in the Western US, assigning Utah, Wyoming, Colorado, and California. They were given prompt questions, and a task. I circulated and helped guide them towards specific things.

The presentations were lovely. Every single student participated.

I pulled a few aside after class and asked them what they thought of today's class. Overwhelming was the positive response, but also more timid feedback about how the lectures had been going from their perspective.

Change is good.  It takes 10,000 hours to get good at something. I am 85 hours in. I remind myself that every hour isn't going to be great, that I will fail before I get my footing, to just keep trying.