Wednesday 11 September 2013

Caught in the Rain


Caught in the rain. Summer rains here in Iowa, this year in this drought, when we have prayed, begged, and pleaded for relief from the dry and heat, came today. It was only an hour and my children had just headed out to play on the play fort and swings. When I heard the rain start, I headed out to carry Isaac inside, knowing it would be slick and he's still learning to be sure footed on the grass and gravel. I was worried he would be scared too.

Half way there, I spotted all three of my children, laughing and snuggled up under the tarp on their play fort. Lily with her arm around Isaac, was laughing and pointing about something I could not translate in my distance.

I stood there, in the rain, soft and gentle and warm, and watched my children love each other and be completely in that moment. Suddenly I felt like I was invading their moment and I quietly, gratefully headed back inside. The full hour that the rain fell, I watched them passively out the window as I cleaned and organised their art supplies with Jessica.

Today, I am grateful that they can take care of each other, that they snuggle and include Isaac in the magical play that happens in their secret world of faeries and dragons and fantasy. Today started out stormy and ended with grace, forgiveness, and love.

Too many people are held back from moving forward by fear of the rain or they shelter others from venturing out, even though it is perfectly safe. Not all storms are hurricanes, not all blue skies are perfectly safe either. If we move through life afraid of the worst always, we lose such precious gifts that quiet moments offer us.

Today was a reminder of that.

So many years ago, I woke up to a hotel room alarm that turned the television on. We were staying at the Julienne Hotel in Dubuque and needed to get up early for the days work. The image on the television was of a burning tower, a skyscraper, panic, fire. I sat up and watched, thinking it was a science fiction movie. We (the lady I was partnered with for work) watched as the second plane hit, through the collapse of both. I called Chad and he hung up on me thinking I was pranking him, this early in the morning (he worked nights).

I wish I was.

We were stranded in Dubuque because of car troubles. Through my absolute panic, I just wanted to be home and couldn't be. We called the central office and begged for someone to come get us, but they were not sure that sending more state employees out right then was a good idea.

Soon our supervisor was on his way personally. He had a daughter our age, on the east coast, who had not called home and driving out to get us would keep his mind busy. No cell phone, we delivered the message to him on arrival as the office had called the hotel, that she called and was ok.

He sat down in the hotel lobby and cried. That was when I knew that my fears were real. This was a great and tragic moment in history. Enormous, changing our lives forever.

Soon after, our jobs as interns were eliminated. Collecting GPS of important and significant buildings was now dangerous to do and dangerous for the greater good. We were chased out of one small town by a guy with a shotgun on a small farm tractor. Another small town resident called the FBI on our surveillance crew. Just a few weeks later, we were let go. My dream job, slipped through my fingers and it seemed a small loss compared to what was happening around the world.

America has been in a perpetual war ever since, at war with the world and with each other.

Tonight, as every night since, I pray for peace. I pray in those lovely moments with my children that the world they will inherit will not be blood soaked ashes. I pray that my family members who bravely serve, will not be called out yet again to fight more of this war, though they will, proudly. I pray for their children too. I pray for the refugees and the survivors.

I pray for peace, not just on this anniversary, but every day. Please God, please intervene and bring peace to our world.


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A blog about farming, unschooling, feminism, 22q deletion syndrome, cooking real food, homesteading, permaculture, and motherhood.