Why Tuesday Really SUCKED

Over the past year I have related stories about the vet who let Lil'Bug help with the exam and even look at ear mites with the microscope. The dentist who lets her sit on my lap during MY exam. The Midwife who let Lil'Bug help with the prenatal exams with her toy tools.

Last week Lil'Bug had her first dentist visit and when they were cleaning her teeth she said the toothpaste burned she asked to stop. They stopped. They made no big deal about it.

Apparently, we've been blessed and lucky to encounter such child friendly professionals. Tuesday we went for my annual eye exam at the Des Moines Eye Clinic. Lil'Bug went with me last year, this year was no exception.

The exception was in how she/we were treated. It is not enough to say we will never go back there.

Lil'Bug was nervous and wanted to stay near me. So the assistant told her where she could play next to my chair. The OD came in and was really mad about where she was and picked up her toy and moved it. Lil'Bug was mad, but gracious. Then he stepped away and she thought he was done so she moved back (after all it was where the assistant told her to be). The OD was really angry. He took her toy and moved it. She cried and hid behind my chair. The Doc and stormed out while telling me to get control of my kid and how he couldn't work under these conditions.

I got up and comforted my child, my frightened and upset three year old. I set her on a chair and gave her my phone to hold. She asked to call Daddy. I said yes.

Doc comes back in the room and declares that he cannot work in the presence of a child with no respect for adult authority.

??

My child? My Lil'Bug who, to that point, had behaved civilly and wonderfully?

She looked at him and asked him to please be quiet so she could talk to her Daddy. He stormed out again. I gathered her and Blueberry up and walked out. As I walked out he continued yelling at me that I cannot bring children to eye appointments. Something about dilation and not being allowed to drive with children. Fine. I would have had Dearest come pick us up or taken the Metro Bus home. Whatever.

Lil'Bug turned to him and said, "You are a meanie."

Well, he was.

I said nothing. I did not stop to schedule another. I walked out. Calmly. Seething. With. Rage.

I mean, what just happened? Obviously he was having a bad day. Professionals don't usually act like divas about children, right? Doesn't matter. We are never going back. I was worried they would charge us and I wouldn't be able to go somewhere else, as my insurance covers only one annual exam per year. Dearest took care of that.

I wish I would have been about to say something to his face. I was at a loss for words. I was angry. I walked away.

Today Lil'Bug has been feeling anxious and upset because the "doctor" said she was bad and naughty. She WAS NOT. But he's an adult and said it to her.

So, we shall work through this, but really, is this what is expected? Is this how most professionals feel about children? I think we have stumbled upon one of the major flaws in our culture. Children should not be hidden away and excluded, they should be welcomed and brought into the folds of our daily lives. They are not second class citizens.

I am also reflective of my own reaction. This is how I always deal with bullies. I walk away. Silence. I don't stand up for myself. I don't like this, but I know no other way.