Who's Side Are You On?

Today Lil'Bug exclaimed, "Who's side are you on? Don't give him the Oregano!" As I was handing dearest the seasoning for dinner.

She was betrayed deeply when I handed it to him because obviously I was not on her side.

She also informed me that she was going to open a flower shop because she has lots of flowers and she'd be good at it.

She licked the mirrors at the eye doctor. Then she was thrilled to help clean them.

It has been a day like that.

Me, I am filled with a restlessness. We put our home on the market and, even though the market is terrible, I half expected at least one call by now. Even though the house isn't technically ready. Even though the picture isn't up yet on Realtor.com. Even as I have a pile of laundry to get through, drapes and pictures still to hang, and some painting to do. I expected a call. At least one.

It is more than that. We will be caught in a middle phase when we do sell. We can look for a house now, not able to buy until we sell, or we can wait and either way we can't buy until we sell so the new house has to be on the market when we do sell OR we need to find a place to rent for a short while and we have 2 birds, a dog, a cat, and 2 tornado tots. And a short while could be anywhere between 6 weeks and 2 years. And we may end up moving to Ohio. It is a time of great change and just thinking about it sends me into a small panic.

So do we get our hopes up for the 40 acres with pond, a turn of the last century home restored by an Amish family? Or do we quit tormenting ourselves with all the possibilities Realtor.com has to offer and wait until we sell to even look? I spent at least an hour looking today when I should have been painting or making apple butter.

I need to be able to visualize. I need to have something in mind to work for. So far my hopes and prayers have been with the visual focus of an apple tree. Is that silly? I have always been a dreamer. The dreams help me work toward goals.

Our goal is simple: we want an acreage to homestead. We want to raise our own food, everything: milk, cheese, eggs, fruit, berries, nuts, veggies, grains, honey, fish- everything. Then, maybe we could consider a CSA once we become self supporting. It will be a lot of work. I love a challenge. I also want sheep for wool. I want to learn to knit our own socks. I want to raise chickens and pick fruit at sunrise and run and play in the sunshine in an open field of wild flowers with my children.

Completely unrelated, I got assigned another Lit class for the Spring semester! Now I'll be teaching Kid Lit and Science Fiction. Neat.

So, while these thoughts are not completely as articulated and organized as I would like, neither have I been.