I've been deeply concerned that I do not model friendship well for my daughter. Don't get me wrong, I am a good friend to people but I have never been able to recover a friendship from a disagreement or fight. This was not a big deal before I had a little one who looks to me for example and deeply bonds with people that I choose as my friends.Recently such an incident occurred, it hurt us both very deeply and we've taken a long time to grieve the passing of the friendship. Today I met with a new friend who had a different perspective on the situation: I modeled for Lil'Bug a refusal to accept some behaviors by friends as acceptable, that people change and move on, and that we all grow as people. Not exactly her words, but certainly the point. This will certainly serve Lil'Bug well when she matures and encounters friends who will experiment with drinking and drug use and other such dangerous behaviours. She will encounter friends who are mean to her or influence her in negative ways. I hope to set an example by modeling action in the face of hard decisions, decisions that can bring immediate unhappiness but are the best for self and family.
If I continue to brood over it, that is what will set a bad example. So here's to new friends, a happy holiday season, and new beginnings.
Ooooh! I'm not very good at that either!! My MIL and I had a huge fight 5 years ago and, after being incredibly close, we barely talk anymore. Makes it hard to get any interaction for the grandkids. Anyway, good for you that you're setting a good example for your little one. It's a tough issue!
ReplyDeletei'm sure you said it better than she ever could. you have such a wonderful way with words.
ReplyDeleteNo way Laura. I just couldn't remember your exact words!! :) We had such a good time and will definitely be joining you again.....except, sorry again that my kid's a biter.
ReplyDeleteno problem here with the biting. k was amused by it. he said he had a great time and that your daughter is funny. lol
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