Thursday Thinking

Today Lil'Bug woke up with a slight fever. She didn't feel good last night or yesterday and today she's just kind of ornery. This means no swimming, the fever not the ornery tot thing. Usually a dip in the pool chills her out, but that's exactly what I'm worried about today: getting chilled.

So today we are off to buy a new mop head, some juice, and look for birthday presents. I'm still not sure what we are getting her. 1 week until the big day. I already purchased a few board games and some outdoor stuff. Mostly things she said she really wanted but then never mentioned again. Gah. Back to thinking about the mop I guess.

We are getting ready for a busy month of November. Lil'Bug's B-Day, NaNoWriMo, a big celebration for Great Grandma in KC, Thanksgiving, ect. I'm thinking ahead to the food. Mmmmmm.....holiday food. My favorite kind.

How Sometimes Some Things Go

I woke up with energy this morning. :) Yay. We got up, had breakfast, and I graded papers. Got them done. Wow. 9am. I decide to make 5 lasagnas. Some to eat now, some to freeze. I thaw meat, get all ingredients out, saute the veggies, and......I can't open the sauce jars. Dearest Husband suggests a pipe wrench, then popping a nail through to depressurize. Both hammer and pipe wrench are in the room that I got shot at in on Monday, (whole n'other story involving forgotten, yet still plugged in air compressor and nail gun....) I forgo those suggestions in favor of his co-worker's idea of running the lids under hot tap water, which worked BTW.

Cool lasagnas made, all 5, in the oven bubbling away, when little one screams, "Bad poopies!" and takes off running. She made it and oh my was it an accurate description. I get her cleaned up, me cleaned up and head downstairs. Cat is vomiting. Cat talks like a people when she vomits, which is a freaky thing. I decide to leave it. I waivered a bit and decided to leave it. Dog decides to be helpful. The thought of that makes me vomit (morning sickness is soooooo misnamed!). So now I might as well clean up cat vomit since I have to clean up my own. "Mom, bad poopies!" Oh child.

All is calm now and I decide I should also actually clean the floors. I vacuum but brown sugar clogs the vacuum up (last week Lil'Bug spilled a whole bag, the vacuum seemed like a good idea at the time.....) Fine. I sweep. Then I get out the soap water and flood the tile. That's what I usually do and then mop it up, wringing the mop out in the sink.....

Except......my mop broke. The sponge head fell off. I had to mop on my hands and knees with a towel. I can't well leave puddles as tot and animals would track it all over like snail trails. Mopping is Lil'Bug favorite chore and she was mad mad mad that we were not using the mop bucket and mop. She stomps off.

Sigh. I no longer have energy. I have to go to work tonight and I won't be home until 10 PM. So much for good intentions........oh wait, I smell lasagna....

Update on Soap Nuts

Edited to add: Wikipedia's entry on soap nuts AND an article on soap nuts.....

Edited to add more: Here a link to the company I buy from.

The truth is that I was getting frustrated with the soap nuts so I switched to Method brand detergent. Then my husband's skin issue came back, painfully so. He asked why, why, why did I stop using the nuts. Well, 1) they didn't lather up the 3rd use like they do the 1st (supposed to get 3 wash loads from every sack) 2) that made it expensive 3) the bag kept breaking open in the wash and then I was picking nut bits out of the clothes or out of the dryer.

He didn't care. He wanted his skin back.

So I researched a cheaper nut source. I found a supplier in Illinois that sells a lb for 18$ plus 3$ in shipping. That's 150 nuts as apposed to 60 nuts. Way better deal if the quality is as good. It is. Bonus, they now sell on Amazon too! So, then, what about the other issues?

While searching for a different supplier I found a couple blogs and a couple product reviews. One said to brew the nuts in a tea and use that for shampoo. ?? Well, wouldn't that work to get a more consistent laundry detergent too? And eliminate the nut bits? Hmmm, yes.

And so......I brew with 4 cups of boiling water in a mason jar, 10 nuts. I use 1/2 cup of the "tea" for each load at the beginning of the week and 1/4 at the end when the concentration gets stronger. The mason jar should have a lid to prevent spilling, use as a pouring strainer for the nut bits, keep the cat/ flying bugs/ laundry lint out, and keep the mixture from going rancid. I don't make more because I don't use more than that in a week. I get 10 loads from 10 nuts or 150 loads from the lb bag. Excellent. I get the sudsing I needed, no bits, and my husband's skin back. :)

An added bonus is that I cut the cost of laundry. I only need one rinse cycle and dry time seems to be 1/2. We don't have to buy fabric softener or a separate wash for delicates and wools. No phosphate ground water contamination, so I can feel really good about the waste water not adding to water pollution.

Also, did you realize how many non auto related products have petroleum? Forget SUV's, our dependence on the stuff goes way deeper: cosmetics, lotions, plastics, soaps, shampoos, conditioners, hair product, detergents, air sprays, candles, Fells Naphtha, preservatives....my goodness, I am still surprised when I find yet another petroleum product. So many go on our skin, the most absorbent organ we have. I am certainly glad to eliminate one more from our use, since that is likely the basis of our family's allergic reaction.

I also get the label of "hippie" from my husband's friends. Fine. It's possible my friends think so too.... ;) If only I could grow my own nuts, then I'd be truly, truly deserving of that label.

Brain Spurt

Some mornings Lil'Bug wakes up and is suddenly bigger and none of her clothes or shoes fit. Sometimes she is suddenly smarter or more mature. Today was one of those days. She woke up, got dressed, went to the bathroom, and headed downstairs to get food. She usually yells for help at some point much earlier than the kitchen, usually before getting out of bed. Today she raided the fridge for strawberries and found her bowl of dry Cheerios (snack). Lest you think I was neglectful, I stealthily trailed her to all activities, after all she's not yet 3.

She noticed me and smiled. "Look mama, strawberries!" I just grinned back.It was no big deal to her, why should I make a huge thing about it?

Some days she just amazes us with her observations and her sense of humor.

Lil'Bug has a vocabulary that is growing by leaps and bounds and sometimes adds new words to our repertoire: "Snuzzeling" is a snuggle and a cuddle initiated by a nose rubbing. She says it's what giraffes do. Ok.

Then there is Afrog the lallygagging alligator. She saw Muppet's' Treasure Island and loves the word lallygagging. Not sure she knows what it means, but still very cute. Afrog, she says, is a funny name for an alligator because he's not a frog. Chomp chomp chomp, mmmmm, yum yum yum.

She named a pair of hotwheels, Dog and Cat. Dog is the orange one and she says a girl gets to drive Dog. Why? Because it's fast! I think it is funny that she gets amusement by "naming" things other things that they are not. Does that make sense? :) She's also swimming and singing and dancing and drawing and many other things. No wonder I am all tired out!

Now for what we have been doing:

We spent almost all day yesterday at the Science Center. They have a new exhibit that is like ChuckECheese's arcade with a gross body function theme. They have a clown at the entrance that freaked both of us out. Once past that, Lil'Bug pretended to be an apple, and slid down the digestive track slide to come out poop. They also have smell stations for various body excretions. OMG yuck. For someone with morning sickness, it almost ended outing just walking by that part. For Lil'Bug it was all about playing with friends. She was so happy to see everybody. Me too.

We also went to see the IMAX Sea Monsters. It was really cool. I had never been to an IMAX before this year and I think I am hooked. A regular theatre just won't cut it anymore!

We came home and she wanted to watch her PMK DVD on zoo management again. She prefers this over anything else right now and I think she's seen it 10 times since we got it from the library the first time.

Ok, we're off to make lasagna!

I'm really mad....

How's that for a deep and ominous title?

Another blogger has been posting (with the same dismay as I have) about some of the darker issues in our world: racism, bigotry, homophobia. Why don't people keep their stupidity to themselves? The hard truth of it is that they don't. They are proud of their hatred. They don't view it as such or as ignorance.

Recently a mom in a playgroup that I don't know why I go to was boasting about a method she chose to discipline her child's sleep issues. It involved locking the kid in a room and letting her cry and vomit herself to sleep. She seemed to be asking for input and so I said, "Yuck." I said that it was evil and cruel and would have long term consequences for the baby. I said she should research the harrowing statistics that are associated with the method including fatalities. I said yuck again. I said she should be a better mother. I said all of these things with more eloquence than I am relating it now. It should be no surprise that the other moms pounced on me. They thought the method was yucky too but that moms should not judge each other.

What she is touting amounts to child abuse. I had to say something. I had to write something.

I try my hardest to be a kind mother, one who respects her child's needs and personhood. I don't hit (or pinch or flick). I try not to yell. I try to be attentive to her interests and curiosities and provide safe environments for her to explore. I never force her to cry alone. Even our time outs are not punishment, but a cool off period. She is getting to the point where she will sometimes even realize she needs a cooling off period and initiate it herself. If the behavior warrants it, privileges are lost and we discuss why. It is more often than not a natural consequence.

Do most families really do things so differently? Is it really about "showing the kid who's boss"?

On my first day as a fledgling, yet (perhaps overly) eager teacher, my provost expressed a sentiment about teaching that is easily applied to parenthood - they may try to rile you or outwit you, but remember that you are the professor (parent) and you know things they don't that they need to learn from you. They need to know you are confident and calm and, more than anything else, that will bring peace to the dynamic.

Sometimes I get cranky (I know, I know . . but it's TRUE!) I always try to remember - screaming hasn't helped before and never will. But while I struggle sometimes (remember a blog entry about paint all over the kitchen floor?) I try to put it in perspective, and often end up being able to make a lot of fun, or a good lesson out of the situation. No matter what though - I'm doing my best to Parent (a verb!!), instead of playing dictator. If one mom went away from the group questioning the cruelty, I shone a light into a dark, dark place. I sometimes get the feeling (hearing a mom at a hair salon talk about how she left her 4 year old at a mall play place alone so she could get some 'peace for once' for example) that children are viewed as an accessory to be brought out when convenient. Perhaps that's overly harsh - perhaps it's overly honest.

The same goes when I stand up for my friends who chose love that is not accepted by some, or when I speak against racism (race itself has no biological basis... I mess with the census people insisting that I am all things on their list (why not? Its all made up anyway, why should my skin color matter to the gov't?)) and most of all when I speak of love: love for a child, a spouse, friends, or something you believe in.

Farm Crawling: Inch by Inch

In the sunshine is a little brown caterpillar inching through imminent danger, aka a chicken house full of hungry chickens:


Freedom! Well, almost. Not chicken dinner, but caught (we like to think rescued) by a boy.

What kind of caterpillar is it? What kind of butterfly/moth will it be?

Farm Crawling: Getting Your Goat

We hope to have sheep or goats someday. This was a neat milking parlor set up. The goats were very kind to Lil'Bug and the goat cheese so very yummy. It didn't keep well in the fridge though, much to my disappointment.

Farm Crawling: Don't Worry, Bee Happy

Many of you who know me, know that I love bees. I used to be a little afraid of them, I used to get stung. My husband and daughter are bee charmers, which I thought was a biological thing. I have since come to the suspicion that it is more of a learned fear issue. I can't tickle bees like Dearest Husband can but they crawl on me and then fly away. We have an apiary set up in our basement (don't worry, vacant) and it is one of the few things moving with us.

Of course we explored the apiaries at one of the farms:

This is a friendly hive, the farmer informed us:

This one is more grouchy. The more grouchy ones are placed farther out in the fields away from the tour traffic. Perhaps they are grouchy from just being honey harvested?

This is a freshly scraped honey comb.


I can't wait to bee on a farm!

Farm Crawling: Meeting Thanksgiving Dinner

I have this thing about food. I like to meet my food, or at least know the people who have cared for it. I like eating happy pigs. There is accountability that way for all of us.

Have you ever toured a factory or mass producing meat place? The animals can be forced fed, kept in small pens, force bred, treated like animals, and then lined up for slaughter. Conveyor belt processing of their carcass into food. Chicken nuggets for example: made from chicken slurry. OMG. Yuck.

Anyway, we found this great event through an announcemnt on our locl homeschool idea board: the farm crawl.

This is Lily meeting the father of our Thanksgiving dinner (I hope we order in time!)


This is Lily viewing the flock in which we hope to get our heritage breed Turkey. Yum.


I'll post more, see the following posts. :)

Friday Freewrite: Suprise!

I promised my students that I would do the Friday Freewrites too, since they are tortured weekly by having to, um, write for a writing class. Fair is fair. This week's freewrite is about how I would react to a surprise party that I knew about. Would I play along? Would I ruin it?

I would be really flattered if someone threw a surprise party for me, but I probably would end up canceling out on the pretend thing they'd try to use to get me there. I've been bad about that lately (sorry Heather!). Oh, but if I knew about it? Then I would just really fret about the social aspect, but I would play along. I would also buy a box of Stam's for the offending organizers!

Really, I'm not a fan of surprises. I like to know. I like to know just about everything I can about a situation before going in. As a youngster I used to map out how I thought phone conversations (topics, questions) were supposed to go before calling friends. I still hate calling people. If I didn't have email I'd never leave the house!

I will find out if the baby is a boy or girl if I can. I like to know as much as possible and there are so many unknowns in life. Some people say there are too few surprises left in life....I say good. I like to know.

Thursday Thirteen

1) We made two pumpkin pies from real pumpkins on Wednesday.
2) Eating pumpkin pie gave me gas that felt like contractions and I let class out early and drove home very upset. It was just gas. Yuck.
3) It has been raining for 14 days in a row. It is wet and cold and rainy. Forecast calls for more rain.
4) We are going to fetch a new (free!) swingset from an unschooler family in rural Iowa on Saturday. Yay! Free swingset AND a visit to a farm. Neat.
5) Lily swam today. No floater suit. 12 feet distance. She grabbed the side of the pool and pushed off and....swam back to me! We spent another hour just doing this and swim to the bottom of the pool exercises. Too cool.
6) We saw the IMAX "The Human Body" this week. Very cool, but scary to an almost three year old.
7) Cats are weird. Cats get even weirder in the middle of the night.
8) I love soup!
9) I'm excited about NaNoWriMo.
10) I had never seen Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. It is really different from most Disney movies. I loved it but.........Lil'Bug learned to spit at people from watching it. Gah.
11) Farm eggs taste incredibly different from grocery store eggs. I know that grocery store eggs are like 80 days old, but I never knew that the taste was so different. Yum.
12) Sleeping toddlers are bringers of joy. She played hard and now she's giggling in her sleep. Neat.
13)I am totally enamoured with my husband. He has made himself an expert in prenatal nutrition and trouble shooting. When I cam home last night upset, he researched abdominal pain and comforted me. It was nothing, but it hurt. He is truly amazing. As annoyed as I was previously, I am really glad I married such a wonderful man.

Nanowrimo

nanowrimo

National Novel Writing Month. 50,000 words in 30 days. Can I do it? Sure. I wrote my thesis in as long and it's longer. It may take some additional planning, but I can do it. It averages to 1,667 words a day. Easy peasy. Right. I plan to write a little and paint a little each day.

So here's my dilemma: which novel should I work on? Choices are as follows 1) The Bridesmaid's Guide to the Neurotic Bride and Her, um, Interesting Family. 2) finish Gen X'ers Guide to How to Use a Hammer 3) A murder mystery involving a dam break and a drag queen. 4) some other idea. Any idea. Suggest something. 5) an extension of a short story I wrote, a love story in the bayou. Lots of magic, folklore, and food in the mix.

I'll put the character profiles up prior to Nov. 1st so I am ready to go. I am thinking about creating a separate invite only blog and posting a chapter a day. Thoughts? Would anyone be interested in that?

Blogging Pregnancy

Dearest Husband pointed out that I am not really blogging this pregnancy much, as in I am not really writing about being pregnant. At first, I had the excuses: the people I know who do that eventually get really obnoxious and end each sentence with, "because I am pregnant."- but that is not true, it only annoyed me when we were trying and not pregnant, really I think its cute. Then, I said, we have too much going on right now and my students read my blog and NO ONE wants to know what and when I am vomiting.

But really, this blog is not a newspaper column or a business blog, it is a personal record of our family's life and right now the facts of when and what I am vomiting are very much a part of our daily life!

So here are my reflections on this pregnancy so far:
1) I am worried about different things this time. With Lil'Bug I was worried about family, being a new mom, my job, and finishing school. Now, done with school, job is not dependent on daycare, family issues are resolved, and I am a pretty good mom. Now I am worried about medical complications I know could happen, Lil'Bug's adjustment, moving, and pants that fit.

2) Vanilla ice cream with chocolate and caramel chunks (Cow Tracks) is THE BEST ice cream to use in a root beer float. Try it. Especially if you are pregnant. It is crazy delicious and the only dessert I have had in 7 weeks.

3) I am really tired. I wasn't with Lil'Bug but I think she is why I am tired this time. Last time I sat at a desk all day now I am chasing her. Also, I had been more of a caffeinated mom prior and absolutely no caffeine this time is really wreaking havoc on my energy level. Why absolutely? Anything with caffeine, aspartame, or hazelnut makes me vomit. I can smell aspartame from yards away. If I don't eat breakfast, vomiting is a sure thing. 50/50 chance if I eat something. Dearest Husband reminding me that lots of nausea is a good sign is obnoxious.

4) Lil'Bug is pretending she has a baby in her belly too and has started up again feeding her dolls "mommy milk" and carrying them in slings. I plan on ordering from Wallypop matching ring slings, one for her and one for me. I won't do that until the Spring though.

5) Last time I was wiggy about used baby things, now I am marking my calendar for the big baby rummage sales. We just sold 80% of our baby things in June. Gah. We'll need extra car seats and...you know what? I don't know what else. We didn't use 1/2 the stuff we had last time. Before the big sale on Saturday we will have a family talk about what is needed. Last time I had Pottery Barn visions floating through my head and now I am a bit more practical.

6) Last time I was set on using a doula, this time I'm not. I love doulas, I loved my doula, but this time I think that I will be just fine. It's early. I may change my mind. I'm going to try a VBAC but I have the same medical complications as last time and this time we know what that actually can mean in terms of scary medical things. I'm ok with another C-Sec, it is just not my first choice. I will also use a hospital facility (see above reference to scary medical things). I think that home births are awesome, but I hope that the community of women I belong to will support and understand my choice as I support theirs. My medical condition is part scaring from an adolescent abdominal surgery and part genetic abnormality (PCOS).

7) Breastfeeding. It took almost a month for Lil'Bug and I to learn how without aids. Most women I know quit when or if it was that hard for them. Not me. This time I know I can do it and I don't have to worry about pumping 3 hours a day. Goodness that sucked (30 minutes each session x 6). Yay for working at home!

That's it for now. If I don't get back to cleaning right now- my whole week with be thrown into chaos!

Under Budget?

So, Lil'Bug gets the idea one morning after breakfast that she needs to make a grocery list.

Ok. Bananas and cheese-noodles.

I needed to go to the store anyway, so we load up the car. As we were doing this, she gets the great idea to take her toy grocery cart. "Ok," I say, "but that means that you can't ride in the Beepbeep cart." She's all smiles.

We get there and she happily scoots the aisles looking for her bounty. She ponders the bananas, picking the perfect bunch. She contemplates the cheese-noodles before deciding on her old standard. She asks if we can add a bag of vegetable chips and at the last turn grabs purple Gatorade and fits it in the small space below in her plastic red cart. She looks at me and says, "Ok, I'm done. Let's go pay!"

At the check out she unloads everything on to the conveyor. She practically had to lift the Gatorade over her head (she's a tiny two). She asks for the money so she can pay, the lady gives her change and asks, "How was your shopping experience young lady?"

Lil'Bug beams, "Great! I came in under budget!"

......Um?

At this point I was laughing so hard tears flowed. So were all the people in line. That's what I say. I thought she was shopping, but I didn't realize exactly how much and to what great detail she was imitating me.

Also, later, she was upset. She was "sad and angry" that we laughed at her. I explained that we were laughing with her and that she was just so incredibly smart and articulate that everyone was awed. She smirked at me and squinched her nose. I must remember to be more sensitive to her feelings. :)

There are Noses, Noses!

A song by the Crossing was changed ala tot this morning as she belted out over breakfast, "THERE ARE NOSES, NOSES!"

One Thing Led to Another.......

Ok, so a little task like laundry.....today exploded. It's not that I have a lot of laundry to wash either. Here's what happened:

None of my clothes fit right. Time to change out to winter/fall clothes. New closet door hung over the weekend but closet floor surface finish damaged by drywall dust. Hmmmmm. I will change all my clothes to this closet, sorting them into Goodwill/packed away/or keep out as I move them. Simple right?

I am currently staring at two empty closets, a huge pile of clothing on hangers, and a small quart of floor stain. I started all projects simultaneously. Why? Yeah. I don't know.

The bigger weirdness might be that I stopped to blog about it....

How we Harvest and Freeze our Peppers

It's simple really. That said, note that we didn't know how easy it was and it took us a bit to perfect what is common sense to most people.

Wash them. This seems like a pain, fresh from the garden BUT where we live there is high lead content in the soil. While the soil we grow our vegetables in is imported and amended, our neighbors soil isn't and the dust that blows and settles from that can be really dangerous. So we rinse with water before we eat anything. It is kind of a letdown that we can't pick and eat and graze through the garden......but not as big of a deal as getting lead poisoning.


Cut off the top, then cut the pepper long ways. To de-seed we use a spoon and scrape them hollow. We learned that if the seed flap isn't removed, it turns black in the freezer. It's still ok to eat, but looks icky.


Then we pack in freezer bags, suck the air out, and seal. We try to store in quantities that we will use, but peppers can be used a bit of a time out of the bag. I also discovered that the pepper will shatter when they are frozen. Pounding the bag is much more fun than chopping!

Now, it is also important to note: wear gloves when prepping hot peppers. The oil is really hard to get off and if you wipe your eyes of eat a cracker (stick your fingers in your mouth) or change a baby's diaper....all are in for a not so nice surprise. We have wiped an eye on more than one occasion. Wearing gloves solves this post pepper (unless you continue wearing the gloves the rest of the day and that is just weird...).

What if you forget to wear gloves? We have experimented with several remedies. We have tried baking soda, toothpaste, dish soap, flour, milk, ice water.....The most effective has been to take a big handfull of baking soda, use water to make it into a paste, then vigourously rub that all over your hands, or to wash hands with baby oil. Either way, once your done wash hands with regular soap. The one time I got it in my eyes I just rinsed and rinsed with cold water. Any other suggestions are welcome!

How We Process Tomatoes, Raspberries, and Pumpkin

We cut the tops and the ugly bits off, place in a stock pot (NOT aluminum, the acid in tomatoes will eat through aluminum), mash a bit with a potato masher, and then bring to a boil. Boil at a low flame setting until the tomatoes go all mushy and soft, let cool a bit, but into freezer containers and let cool some more. We then put the containers in the refrigerator when cooled, the freezer. Simple. Note* This is only safe for freezing.

Raspberry jam: 1/1 ratio of fresh raspberries to sugar. Boil down a bit, until jam consistency. Pour into jars. Done. I don't add pectin since the berries have it naturally. It is wicked good and a little scary when boiling- it looks like bubbling, gurgling hot lava. We then refrigerate, but you can pressure can them at this point too.

This year's harvest was affected by the late Spring frost. We didn't get any berries in the Spring and Fall berries are sparse. I am collecting a handful each day, rinsing, and adding to a container in the freezer. I hope by the end of October to have enough to make enough jam for us over the winter, but it is unlikely.

Pumpkin: I used to skin and boil chunks but this year I decided to halve the small sugars, de-seed, and bake. Baking retains more flavor and mineral/vitamin content. When they are soft, I let cool and then scrape out the good goo. I measure out 2 cups per bag, push the air out, seal, and freeze.

I buy my pumpkins for the most part. Despite actively vacuuming off the squash beetles with my shop vac every day, I lost the war. I won't use chemicals so I am dreaming of the summer at the farm when I will use chickens to de-bug my precious pumpkin plants. Pumpkin is my favourite vegetable ever. Pumpkin curry bisque is my favourite food. With crusty sour dough....yum. Pumpkin pie smell is my favourite smell ever and I am currently working on trying to convince through blog comments my favourite soap maker to make her Chai soap (smells the same) into a shea butter body creme, a linen spray, and a super fat soap.

Growed Up

One of my recent favorite blogs to read posted a picture of a Colorado sunset. That made me homesick for something I haven't known for a long time.

Sometimes I get called out on my childhood stories......"I grew up in Eastern Rural Colorado..." or, "I grew up in South Side Chicago....." or, Greeley, CO or Jennings, Sulfur, LA, or Kanankee, IL or Iowa.

All are true. So, where am I from?

All of those places and experiences shaped me in major and heartbreaking ways. Even when we move, I will call Iowa home. We moved to Iowa when I was 16. But sometimes, when I am driving home from the night classes at the rural campus I teach at, I get a pang of homesickness for the vast, yet anything but flat, open spaces of Eastern Colorado. The wide open sky, so little light pollution that you can actually see the stars (even the Milky Way), the clean smell of the wind, and how you can see trouble (both the metaphoric and the tornado kind) coming from miles away- even watch the devastation from a safe, yet beautiful distance. I miss the noise of wildlife and the quiet after a blizzard. The sunsets are so achingly beautiful that I cried at age 14 when I was told I had to go back to Illinois. You see, in that home I was loved, nurtured, and treated like a human being. Forever will the landscape surrounding that farmhouse be tied to who I am.

When I moved to Iowa I was on my way to being on my own. I met Dear Husband shortly after and a couple of years later we married and began a different life together that I had only known in brief encounters and on the ranch in Colorado. We made a home that makes its foundation on respect for each other and fostering our creative lives.

We are about to move again. Not next week or even in the next year, but it is impending and change is coming. We will be faced with the question yet again. We will say Iowa because it is simple and true. Iowa is very much woven into who we are now as a family. We will bring that with us. I will carry all of the places I've been in my heart.

Thank you for the memory.

Chai

What's in it:

• 1 cup water
• 1 1/2 teaspoons raw sugar

Then the spice mixture, your choice of the following:

• 1 whole cardamom pod
• 1 whole clove
• 2 black peppercorns
• 1 piece of cracked ginger
• Cinnamon or Cinnamon stick
• vanilla bean
• nutmeg
• anise
  

*Hint: Don't start using all of them!

Then:

• 3 teaspoons black tea leaves
• 1/2 cup warm milk

1. Combine the water and sugar in a small saucepan, and bring to a boil. Add the cardamom pod, clove, peppercorns (or your choice) and tea leaves. Remove from heat, and let the mixture steep for 2 to 3 minutes. Strain into a cup, and fill cup the rest of the way with milk. Sit back, relax, and enjoy!

So there you have it Angie, :), my Chai recipe is really a template for making your own. I found this template on some recipe site that I don't remember and modified it a little. Only the process is from that.

Setting New Fashion Trends

This morning I missed filing some paperwork by 5 minutes. That's not really a big deal. Then we ran late to get ready for music class. I put Lil'Bug's pants on over her pajamas and didn't notice until we were there. You know what else I noticed once we arrived? My pants were on backwards. How does that happen? Elastic waistband for one. Ok, I have no excuse really.

So I discreetly pull a protesting tot to the bathroom for a potty break she does not need AND she proclaims loudly for everyone to hear that I am taking off my pants BECAUSE THEY ARE ON BACKWARDS! Gah. Now they think we eat fried butterflies and I can' t dress myself.

New most embarrassing moment? Definitely a contender.

More (7) Random Things About Us

1) My husband's superpower is popcorn. He worked for Carmike Theaters when we met and I'm convinced he's a Carmike horcrux. Seriously. How else can a normal human produce buttery good popcorn on the stove top that tastes just like theatre popcorn AND, just like the theatres, does not use any butter? I kid you not. Crazy.
2) I grew up in homes that had bugs. All sorts. I have a phobia of sticking my hand in oven mits.
3) Nutella is crazy good too. If you've never had it, seek it out. Hazelnuts are a good source of protein.
4) Lil'Bug is a ham. She will ham it up when she sees the opportunity. Music class is no exception. Her superpower is that no matter how much she spins and spins and spits, everyone still thinks she's a doll. ;)
5) We love to cook. We love learning about kitchen chemistry....however, raw, whole chickens gross me out. Why is it that I am always the one that has to cook the night we have chicken?
6) We all love 1940's jazz. It was this love of jazz that first led me to meet Dear Husband.
7) My superpower is old house structure. I may have mentioned it before- I have an eye for old house's hidden secrets. I have yet to turn down an invitation to investigate an old house mystery!

Now, if you comment, tell me something about you that I don't know! What is your superpower?

Ice Skating, an exercise in patience

This last week held many small adventures for us. Lil'Bug woke up one morning and proclaimed that she wanted to learn to ice skate:

Day one, Lil'Bug tells me she wants to learn ice skating. Urm? It is Iowa and like 90 billion degrees outside! I ask her questions. She tells me that she saw DW on Arthur (PBS) try and learn and was worried about it.
Day two, we see Olympic Ice Dancing clip on TV (not sure why or how it was on, but it was just a clip (about 60 seconds)).
Day three, she wakes up with nightmare about falling on the ice. I make phone calls to local rinks.
Day four, she is impatient with me and spills paint all over the kitchen floor to make an ice rink. Slides barefoot gracefully all over.

No, really. I went through a range of emotions from EEKK my just mopped floor! to OMG how brilliant is that! Why didn't I think of that? I stood in the kitchen and just looked in amazement. I thought, I can scream about this or celebrate my child's persistence and ingenuity.

This kid really wants to go ice skating.

So off we went. The local arena had an open skate so we dug out the winter snowsuit and mittens. Once there, Lil'Bug could hardly contain her excitement. the lady at the skate rental talked me into getting Lil'Bug hockey skates. I think that was the first mistake. They were way slippery and have no toe stop. This was very frustrating to her. She had great balance on the carpet and then the ice was spaghetti legs. Two very nice people stopped to help us and took her around a bit. After about 20 minutes she was done. The picture is on our way out. She looks unhappy.

I thought, disappointed, that I or the attempt ruined it for her. Not so. Once in the car she asked when she could try again, tomorrow maybe? She explains to me that ice skating is hard and takes practice. Sweet little child. I have much to learn.

Then at park day some veteran moms/skaters offered much advice: 1) figure skates, not hockey skates 2) roller skates for at home 3) go watch the freeskate in the morning 4) get her a skating buddy. :) Will do. Thanks to all the moms who talked me through it. :) I'm still open for more advice, btw.

Art Progress

Manic Monday Whoa Oh Oh.....

I have sooo much to write about here. We had friends over, cleaned out the crib to go to its new home (don't get the wrong idea, we just never used it for Lil'Bug and decided we're co-sleeping the second round as well), played, and played, and well you get the idea.

Sunday night actually started the round of recent events. Lil'Bug's bed was drug down from the attic, cleaned, and set up. So she moved from sleeping on mattress on the floor to a big girl bed. The mattress on the floor served two purposes: less height if she rolled out of bed (she never did) and delayed the search for the 3/4 short mattress the big girl bed required. Just so happens that custom making a mattress is very pricey BUT it also just happens that a LaZboy hidebed uses that exact size. Bingo. Whoo Hoo!

Monday we wake up to a lovely October day. October 1st has a lot of meaning for me. It is a sad day and one full of emotion and turmoil most years. Something was different this time. I embraced the memory, paid my respects to the sorrow, and moved on with the day.

Friends arrived just after 10. I felt no pressure to uber clean house. It was tidy, but luckily the visiting friends are not the kind to mind toys and art supplies strewn in use. I adore H.'s kids. They are quirky and sweet and her oldest reminds me a little of Wynona Ryder in Beetlejuice and a lot of me at that age. It was one of those days that time flew by. I did however make the mistake of telling the kids too much about the pork sausage we were eating. I know they care about food being chemical free, so I told them all about the happy, free range pig we got from the preserve. Yup. They then did not want to eat the happy pig sausage. PB&J's were offered. Lil'Bug didn't help with her exclamation of, "Yummy pig! Pig noodles are so good." Red sauce, sausage, and shell pasta are pig noodles to her?

They left just before dearest husband returned home. He asked what was for dinner. Oops. I had intended to make beef stew for the guests and eat that for dinner but I forgot and made pasta instead. He pulled out steaks and grilled them up. I boiled and mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli, and 20 minutes later we had the most delicious dinner. Target had the best sale on Angus last Sunday so I bought enough beef and chicken to get us through when the beef from our 1/4 will arrive. This year's pig is coming in November. Anyway, the steak was pounded and scored to tenderize and sprinkled with Slap Yo' Mama seasoning. We are almost out. I have to remember to order more online soon since we use that as an all purpose seasoning almost everyday. It's not like the local grocery carries good Cajun seasoning! ;)

Then our after dinner wild rumpus. Dear Husband played trumpet, then drums, and we danced and danced. Finally Lil'Bug decided it was bedtime and we headed up for bath. She still had sand in her hair from two days ago? How? She's had 3-4 baths since last exposure to sand box! Gah. If anyone has good advice about sand removal from tot's tender scalp, offer it up please please.

Bedtime was greeted with open arms. We read books and settled in. Then she turns to me, "How did our baby get inside your belly? Did you eat her?" 1) We don't know that it is a her. 2) No. Sweet. I did not eat her. "Did Daddy cut a hole in you like I came out?" Lil'Bug knows about her birth story which involved a C-Section. No, but Daddy did help make the baby inside my womb. Pause. Snore.

Ah, good. That buys me another day.

And then there were four......

So, well, this weekend was really blessed. We harvested many tomatoes and peppers before the frost. We spent a lovely time with relatives. I caught up on the laundry for now and.......

Then I peed on a stick. (See side bar for picture of results. ;)...)

About 4 years ago, after 2 years of trying, we were told by a doctor that we would statistically likely not ever conceive a child without fertility drugs/treatment. We delayed treatment. About two months later we were pregnant with Lil'Bug. Ha. We were not surprised that, as she's turning 3 soon, she is still an only child. What did surprise us was the results of the stick.

:) We are blessed yet again. Lil'Bug is thrilled, we are ecstatic, and.....well, there is so much happiness welling up inside that I, for once, am left wordless (for now).

Saturday Night at the Vinyard

Our local farm land is pretty good for sweet wines. The people who manage this particular vineyard also like music and having people over to see their place......so every Saturday while it is somewhat warm (sometimes bewilderingly hot) they host a local band at the grange house. Lil'Bug was quite upset that we went to a music show without her (it was 14 and up) so we promised to find her a show this week: so the reggae/jazz fusion band from Iowa City, that wasn't really good enough to link to, it was.


Even though we are spoiled by are recent visit to the most talented band in the world ever's show, the over all experience of this outing was good. They have a herd of Elk that come to the fence when the music plays, the weather was perfect, the sky was clear, moon was almost full, we could even sorta see the space station with the binoculars, and Lil'Bug danced and danced.

Music Class....we do what?!?!?!?!

Yeah, What She Said......

Lil'Bug bounds into music class the way she bounds into everywhere she goes and starts singing the Tiny Tim Frog song. The teacher asks her if she like frogs. Lil'Bug says, "Oh yes!" I say that she's really good at catching them. Lil'Bug explains to the teacher that the song is all wrong because eating soap and drinking bathwater is really bad for you. She chatters on a bit. The teacher asks her if she likes butterflies........

"Oh yes! Mom and I catch um. Then we fry them up and eat them! Yum!"

That's right. Everyone turns to look at me. "Uh, no we don't."

"Yes we do mom!"

Awkward silence. Teacher starts class.

No. We. Don't. In case you were wondering. She also told the Science Center guy that we eat turtles in soup.

Gah.

Birthday Parties

I think I have it. After a lovely playdate yesterday and then some quiet reflection time, I contemplated something LIfedreamed said about how she does birthday parties: only big parties for the bigger birthdays, like 5 and 10.

Hmmm. I thought. No one else in our family celebrates with a big party unless it is a BIG milestone, then no one else is under 5 either. :) We don't do cakes, we do eat out and maybe splurge on dessert. We do a thoughtful gift or two.

Her birthday does fall on a park day.....

So last night Dearest Husband and I talked about it and decided.........

Drumroll please.....

We will bring healthy cupcakes to park day. We will stay late and grill dinner. Hopefully family can join us after work. I will let Lil'Bug wear whatever dress/cape/superhero hat she wants too. (Well, she does that anyway....)

If it rains or is waaaaaay too cold, then we will probably go to the Science Center AND we will remember to tell people of our plans. I don't mean a Science Center birthday party....just friends meeting up there. We can eat cupcakes in the cafeteria. No big deal. Just friends. She's always delighted when we run into friends at the places we visit. Then we will go out to eat with family.

I know, I know......cheating her out of some mandated cultural norm. Some families throw big parties for every member, complete with cake, mixed drinks, and lots of rowdy family/friend fun. That's just not us. I think if we did it for just her it would imbalance the harmony of our family. We can make her feel special in ways that fit with how we live our life. I hope I make her feel special and loved everyday.

When she turns 5 maybe something different.

Math Thoughts, Revisited.....

I heard someone the other day talking about how we don't really encounter "Math" as its taught in the "real world". Baloney. That's what I say. Totally baloney. Maybe that individual doesn't, but why limit the child to whatever that person's life is? I use math, as it was taught to me, all the time, as an English teacher, as a mother, as a checking account holder, as a homeowner, no less, maybe more......

Here are some examples.......grading papers, calculating weighted grades, disputing excuses (a student wrote on her quiz her work schedule instead of the answer.....I noted out the "not working" hours available, subtracted sleep and eat and drive time (based on her home address and address of work/ legal speed limit), factored in the average reading speed to the amount of words in the assigned essay and calculated that she could have read the assigned reading 152 times in the time she had available. The calculation ended with the note that her quiz score was 0....and I was docking an extra 10 points for annoying me into doing complicated math. None of my students ever did that to me again! :)....) So that was a teaching moment and amused me at the same time....yes, I said it annoyed me, but really I did it to satisfy my need for sarcasm.

Anyway, we use math to garden, to buy paint, to buy food, cook food, do taxes, calculate pension, raises, and other monetary issues. We use math to fill our autos with fuel, to fill our yard machines with oil/fuel mixtures. All of this needed to be slowly added to our skill set before we were presented with the real life math.

Maybe their point was that the math they were "taught" was useless. Maybe.

More Random Fun!

A while back I posted a comment on an invitation to a random meme. Ron got back to me right away, but I was stuck on his questions. That's right, writer's block. So, like any obstacle is overcome, I sat down and worked it out over several days.

What is the age of your current home? built in 1886...so 131 years old.

What style is it? Where do I even begin? It is a mix, so "eclectic"; it has a seven gabeled roof (Queen Anne), corbels (Italianate style), Eastlake sticking and windows- including the stain glass patterns (Eastlake is not an architectural style but has been merged with the term "Stick Victorian", Italianate doors, and the list goes on. That era was all about picking things that don't go together and making them work- at all odds with the practical sometimes.

How does the word vortex apply to your blog? It is from Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide. I like the little parable. Sometimes I am so self absorbed that I cannot see the big picture and my family gets sucked in. My blog is like the opposite of that machine: I get to focus on all things from my perspective. Still a vortex.

As an English professor do/did you teach primarily grammar/function, writing or literature? Yes, all of those, if the students are paying attention. As it is I must grade multitudes of papers and sometimes teach former high school students to love learning via the beauty of the comma.

Pick a post from the main page of a blog from your reading list that you would like everyone to (re)read: Child's Play has an interesting post up about linear and non linear thinking. I'm still processing it.

Um...Yikes?

Here is verbatim what the NEA has written, which can be found on their pdf file,
but you will have to visit Happy and Free to get the link. I couldn't get it to post right.

B-75. Home Schooling (their pp 36, pp 45 of the pdf file)
The National Education Association believes that homeschooling programs based on parental choice cannot provide the student with a comprehensive education experience. When home schooling occurs, students enrolled must meet all state curricular requirements, including the taking and passing of assessments to assure adequate academic progress. Home schooling should be limited to the children of the immediate persons who are licensed by the appropriate state education licensure agency, and a curriculum approved by the state department of education should be used.
The Association also believes that home-schooled students should not participate in any extracurricular activities in the public schools.
The Association further believes that local public school systems should have the authority to determine grade placement and/or credits earned toward graduation for students entering or re-entering the public school setting from a home school setting. (1988, 2006)

The above resolution is a little too 1984 for me.

Yike. I'm paying lots of attention to federal mandates and the organizations that lobby for what becomes legislation for homeschoolers. According to the above, I could be exempt because I can easily get "licenced" since I teach college.

I have a problem with the general idea of this for heaps of reasons. I think it is foolish to think that licensed=good teacher, just as having a drivers licenced does not make you a good driver and a Bachelor's degree does not instantly qualify you for any job. 2) What happened to all of our choices? Are they going to invade private schools and force them to use mandated curriculum too? What's next? TV? Radio? Books? Maybe they will get to decide how you parent your baby and Baby Einstein will be required for x amount of hours per child each day and crib and formula use will be mandated and not optional. Maybe people with x medical problem will be required to take x pharmaceutical as mandated by the state. No, how we choose to educate our children is our choice. I understand the need for "oversight" to prevent severe cases of abuse but this invasion is a totally different level for very different reasons.

My Center of Gravity

I woke up from nightmares last night and the anxiety has not yet subsided. I need to find inner balance and physical balance because we are ice skating this afternoon!

Why am I feeling so off? I am not sure. I didn't eat well over the weekend. I didn't sleep well either. I am very stressed out over the house and all that it entails. I am feeling a creative block lately as all of my creative energy has been tied up in the house for the last 9 years. Though I did remember that the phone call I forgot to make (the nagging feeling that I was forgetting something all morning) was to the vet for Kitty's check up and possible spay/neuter. Easy enough to remedy.

Also, planning a three year old's birthday party is not an easy feat. It should be easy. Park Day + Cake + Games = one happy tot. Right? No. Late October the weather may be too cold or rainy and park day is during the day and all family have day jobs except me. We have vetoed the house as a location. It is not even up for discussion. This makes me a little sad. Zoos, Science Centers, Chuck E. Cheeses....all too expensive. Not asking MIL. Not fair to her. GAH!!!!!!!!!! Why is it so freaking hard? Every birthday we've been to 'cept one has been at the family's house.

Any ideas?

How Often is Too Often?

We've been having a series of lively discussions around here regarding housecleaning. Housecleaning is NOT my superpower. I can walk through an old house that is cut up and mangled into apartment units and tell you the original floor plan/location of fireplaces and pocket doors, ect.....BUT I cannot clean a toilet and I have no idea where to begin to clean the oven. Flylady made me neurotic and I had a shine-y sink for about a week and began to call my shoes loathers instead of loafers. Happy Slob is nice but, while motivating, doesn't give me step by step instructions for some of these tasks.

The latest contention around here is that I mop too much. ????? I'm good at mopping. I even have an industrial tile scrubber that I whip out once a month (maybe that is overkill, but it is sooo fun!). The kitchen floor never looks dirty (awesome slate tile in greens and browns), but it never looks clean to me either. I mop about twice a week, when it gets sticky. Is that too much? Tell me it is not too much. :) I also vacuum as often. We have hardwood floors but the broom and the dog hair seem to have a truce so I must come in with the anti dog hair strike- the cyclonic vacuum.

Also, I am not really that bad. I do try. I hope some of my mama friends who have visited can chime in and reassure my husband that our house is not worthy of intervention on the Oprah show.

A Gigantic Nuclear Furnace

No, this is not another TMBG post. :)

It is somebody's birthday around here this week. So, those of you who work with him....do not hug, sing to, or cajole him. Just smile knowingly and tell him I said "hey."

I am still working on his present. I have not had time to work on it so it might end up being a Christmas gift. I'll post pictures when its done. I did clean the house but that was more for the guys we don't know that want to buy our house that came over yesterday for a second walk through. WHOO HOO!

No, WAIT!

That's right. Me. I scampered back into the concert hall and played the giddy and sweet girl with camera. The sound guy who looks like a mini John took the picture of ME WITH JOHN FLANSBURG! It's Istanbul, you know.

Dearest husband was hesitant to go where the people are not allowed.... so he did not get to be in the picture! Me, I figured they would haul me out by the elbows if I wasn't supposed to be there. That did not happen and I got the above picture.

They locked the doors after that.

She's a Jumping Bean with neat concert pictures

Ok, I AM the jumping bean. This show was awesome. I now really have camera envy, but these are pictures that my little 2 Mega Pixel camera took sans flash:

This is not a test.....

Opening band? Oppenheimer, a group (two cool guys) from Northern Ireland. I LOVE this band. I've been listening on the ITunes radio for months now. I was thrilled when they started the set. After, I excused myself the "restroom" and found them:


That's right! That's me with cool robot voice guy. I'm one cool mommy blogger, let me tell you. Not, however, as cool as these guys: Rocky O'Reilly (Guitar, keys, percussion, mac) Shaun Robinson (Vocals, drums, keys, guitars). Rocky is the one with the cool hair and the robot voice in the music. Shaun plays drums and does vocals. That in itself is pretty impressive, but Dear Husband says it also means he has to drink and do drugs and girls enough for both a lead singer and a drummer and that's the impressive part. Hmph. These two guys play this incredibly complex beautiful music live and on stage and they are really nice.

The Lion's on the Phone

We arrived early. No mere law of inertia or geography or meteorology would keep my husband from arriving on time. He drove like a nut, no big deal since that's how he always drives. I teased him at one point about possibly missing an exit and he flushed red. Heh. :)

Did I mention we arrived early? Parked really close and went in. Concert starts at 8pm, doors open at 7pm, we arrive at 5:44pm. Dear Husband wants to argue that point but our parking stub gives him away. :) Anyway, he doesn't want to leave the building to get food someplace where the food is actually edible because he doesn't want to miss sound check or be at the end of a line. Some guy directs us to a "line at the bottom of the stairs." Oh, those stairs, we say as we return from the basement food court (at the IMU). The line is more like a pile of three (3) people. Two of which are actual stalker groupies.

We go eat at previously mentioned food court. Yuck. Then we return to the pile of people. Soon we are joined by a doctor from Dubuque and his wife who have never seen TMBG live but are big fans. Dr. guy has a vintage T-shirt and discussion blooms about albums, radio play, songs, live shows (groupies chime in)...and the line grows to 15 people. At 7 we are let upstairs. Gen Admis. in a place with no seats means that the only benefit from waiting in the lobby and eating crap food is....well, we got to buy T-shirts early? :)

Here is my view before the show (note how low the stage is, how close up people are allowed, and remember that I am the size of a malnourished twelve year old....):

There's a Little Birdhouse in my Soul 1

Last night was neat. We went to see They Might Be Giants in Iowa City. TMBG was the first band I heard when exiled at my aunts farm in CO at age 14 that was not Debbie Gibson or Madonna radio pop. I bought Apollo 18. Good stuff.

When I moved to Iowa at age 17 there was a high school radio station. One of the DJ's played Benny Goodman, the Violent Femmes. and TMBG right in a row. I drove down to meet this guy in Iowa who had my exact same musical tastes. He was really nice. I met him again on and off as friend of friends and such. 12 years later? We are married with one small tot.

So you see, TMBG runs deep in our family. Lil'Bug says Giants are her favorite band. I think new York City is one of the most beautiful love songs ever. My husband has almost every album ever including but not limited to the concert downloads from their website.

On to the concert.....

Little Dancer in my Heart....plus thoughts on our lifestyle

Today was our first day of fall Music Together. It was awesome. Lily asked to wear her spinning dress and declared at the end of class, "I love my new teacher!" She danced and danced and sang and was excited to hear that in this class the instrument is the flute. I grumbled a bit when they didn't include it in the welcome packet, but we do already have a recorder at home. I was hoping for a pan flute since that's what on the CD and we do not already have one. Meh. We'll just have to get one on our own.

I also set up her phonics computer game. She doesn't do the mouse very well so it was the two of us clicking through together. She does know her letters and sounds better than I thought and even a few words too. She wanted to do this for hours and hours and hours. It sure does take a big dose of patience parenting and homeschooling but the trade off is definitely sitting next to me delighted!

I've been thinking more about TV lately and my personal relationship with it. I grew up with cable TV, 100 channels with nothing on. We would watch and watch and watch. I don't object to watching movies because 1) there is an intention when putting one in the player and 2) there is a lot less selling than the commercial driven networks. I realized that what I object to the most is the advertising. I object to being advertised at. I object to exposing my child to this. She recently saw an ad for Chuck E. Cheese's. She's never been nor do we intend to take her there unless someone else is hosting a birthday party and that is unlikely that anyone in our friend circle will do that, but she's been talking about it incessantly- because of an advertisement. Blah.

Our lifestyle in general is different from mainstream Americans. We grow food, bake bread, read to each other, oh, and homeschool our almost three year old. That last one really puts us out there. Why? I've always been eccentric, artsy, and well read so I am used to being different, but even among our "crunchy" friends we seem to stick out a bit. I'm not sure why it is bothering me today.

Now for your obscure pop culture reference: I'm squishing your head!
Squish squish squish.....

Oh, and that is a chocolate goatee she has. Dark chocolate. Yum. I had one too- we had a really fun lunchtime. :)

Weekly Topics Vote

On the table this week is another Random Meme that I am working on the answers to. For some reason I am having writer's block! :)

Last week's vote the results were very much for showing my art projects in progress. I shall try to have them up for Thursday.

I also plan today to post my modified zucchini bread/muffin recipe and my chai tea recipe.

We had our first fall music class today. Music class? Aren't we unschoolers? Indeed. It's a music together class to teach me, the tone deaf rhythmically challenged mama, how to dance and sing joyfully. Lil'Bug is just along for the fun of it all.

She also has been bugging me for ice skating experience. It's 95 billion degrees here in Iowa and she wants to ice skate! She saw some clip on PBS about Olympic ice dancing and then Arther's sister DW (also PBS) was worrying about learning. I thought at first Lil'Bug was just imitating TV script but she asked after dinner for me to teach her and woke up in the middle of the night upset from a dream where she fell on the ice trying to learn to jump. So I must make an effort to find a free skate open to tots locally in the humid hot end of summer of Iowa. Geesh, what a challenge.

That's about it. Oh, and we are entering birthday party season around here. We know sooooo many people with fall born children, including mine. I am really awful at the whole gift thing and we usually end up gifting cash but I always feel lazy about that.

Just random ramblings I know. :)

Living History

I'm going to include more pictures from our farm day here BUT I'd also like to reflect on the place we went a bit. It is a "living history" farm. I used to work at a museum across town that was a part time living history (read, I had to dress up for tours) and from my museum experience I know a lot about the behind the scenes of what makes these places work. We often shared resources and once I had to stump to save their State funding from being line itemed out of that year's budget.

It gets my goat when tour guides tell the kids that the upstairs portions are blocked off because its not safe. That's not true. They are blocked off to the general public because of ADA compliance laws, which I find ironic since most of the grounds were inaccessible to those who travel with limited off road mobility. The upstairs are perfectly safe. Do not lie to my kid.

I did appreciate however that the guides at the 1750 farm site did not dress up as Native Americans. That would have been Disneyish and silly. I also thought it amusing when the guide there explained that they didn't start the cooking fire today because a "school" group was coming through and the kids mess with the fire. Ha. Our "school" group was angelic. She meant the 30+ 6th graders up the road.

I did not see anywhere signs posted and had to ask about the buildings' authenticity. What I mean by this: many of the sites were replica buildings built new and authentic buildings moved in to the new foundations to create a false historical setting. It is a learning tool but they are supposed to make it very clear what is real and what is set up for learning purposes like a movie set. The original buildings are impressive but not a whole town and 4 eras of farms.

The employees, other than having a rote script when asked questions sometimes (see ADA reference, gah), are amazing with children. In my experience, we have had ok days, but today was by far one of Lil'Bugs favorite days at the farm. That was in no small part due to the encouragement and interaction of the guides.

One other minor item to note: two of the town buildings were closed off due to fire damage. Arson. I asked and was told that the arsonist(s) broke into the buildings and were burning specific items on the floor which caused structural damage. ???? Who does that? Why? I'm going to look up the articles in the local news and ask at the State Office and see if there is more to this story that gets told to school groups and moms with tots on a day outing.

A Taboo Topic

I know. I'm going from cute kid fluff to serious topics and it's scary, but this has been weighing on me all summer. A friend told another friend who thought she might be pregnant not to tell anyone, not anyone, until she's at least 3 months along. Why? Two reasons, it is considered bad luck and/or she might miscarry.

Right. IMHO this is specifically a reason TO share and share early. How are we supposed to support each other otherwise?

She and many others miscarry their babies. Not having shared the possible joy they can not share their grief. It is isolating and heartbreaking to face such a huge thing alone, likely over and over again. One of my virtual blogger friends is blogging about this right now. How very brave of her. She's facing the added emotional facet of running an Internet business that caters to custom made baby things. Can you even imagine how hard this must be for her? Also, knowing that others have had loss doesn't help. It doesn't lessen the fear, pain, and the heartbreak.

I cried reading her posts. It really got me wondering why the topic is so taboo and where it got its roots, but I couldn't find anything. I did find this:

Besides the feeling of loss, a lack of understanding by others is often important. People who have not experienced a miscarriage themselves may find it hard to empathize with what has occurred and how upsetting it may be. This may lead to unrealistic expectations of the parents' (plural) recovery. The pregnancy and miscarriage are hardly mentioned anymore in conversation, often too because the subject is too painful. This can make the woman feel particularly isolated.

Interaction with pregnant women and newborn children is often also painful for parents who have experienced miscarriage. Sometimes this makes interaction with friends, acquaintances and family very difficult.

I found this on a comment section of A Little Pregnant:

There's an unreasonable taboo against talking about infertility and miscarriage. I learned that the hard way after having a grisly 2nd-trimester miscarriage in 2002. Since I'd had such a public miscarriage -- I'd gone from having a noticeable pregnant belly complete with kicking baby inside to being flat-stomached and irrepressibly weepy -- many friends came up to me with stories of miscarriages and fertility problems I never knew they'd had. Friends. Good friends. People I'd seen naked, for godsakes, and they'd never dared to speak about their miscarriages until I had mine......I just can't understand why it's considered OK for mothers to discuss baby poop blowouts and how many stitches they got in the perineum after labor, and yet we're still shy about talking about pregnancy failure.

I found another passage that linked the shame of pregnancy loss to the fathers and that historically it was looked at as their failure. That's why it was shameful to speak of it historically. So why are we still holding on to that?

I don't understand. If a friend of mine were suffering I would want to know and I would want to help, not that there is anything at all anyone can do. I can't think of the right things to say to end these thoughts.