Friends

You know those Hallmark commercials that can move certain people at certain times to tearful sobbing masses (ice cream in hand.....)?

I had a real life moment. Actually a series of them over the past week.

It started with a freak out from me over the Cardiologist appointment and not being ready for the new baby, then.......

My Dearest has been his sweet and wonderful self, but more so because he took extra time off work to help out around the house with stupid chores he hates, take us to various medical appointments and then ice cream, and bring me anything I want anytime with no complaint. No, not fried pickles with chocolate, but still. He's made an extra effort to reassure me and ask what I need to feel better/more ready.

Friends. You know, I think I am just about over the whole, "former friend really sucked and now I'm lonely forever, waaaaaaa," thing. This past week friends both local and online have really been awesome. Phone calls, emails, and comments all at the right time saying the right things. Seriously, I really needed all the love.

This morning a friend emailed and offered to drive us to the park day (the one I was afraid we'd miss because I can't drive); it occurred to her that we can't drive right now, so she offered! It was amazingly sweet and perfectly timed. This park day is special too, it's an annual dress up in the park and play in the flowers day.

And my sweet daughters. Lil'Bug has been singing and talking to June Bug. Today she told her, as her big sister so she should listen up, it is time to come out. Sweetie, I wish it was that simple.

Local Sights and Eats

A while back Child's Play posted this challenge: share your favorite National Park, or local sight see adventure.

Iowa's one and only National park is about 8 hours from here, we've been but only for my work and only for a couple hours when Lil'Bug was about 10 months old. It's neat, but not nearby.

1/4 of the entire state is inside a National Heritage Area called Silos and Smokestacks. It's really just a gimmick to tie together some tourist stuff. The website has a neat online cirriculum thing for kids called CampSilos. The travel section has a really cool history program.

Ok..... now for the place....

We do have the Iowa State Fair (and it's grounds are part of that National Heritage Area....). The Iowa State fair is different from other fairs? Maybe.

We have the butter cow. I'm not kidding. An entire life size cow made from butter.
The artist also does a second sculpture, also life size, also butter. Last year it was Harry Potter, I kid you not.

Amazing hot dogs. I know, I don't eat hot dogs usually BUT every year I eat corn dogs and hot dogs all day long at the fair. Mmmmmm....corn dogs. They also have amazing lemonade and this pineapple freeze thing that is simply divine. They also serve fried Twinkies and Snickers but I have never eaten one.

Aside from that, last year we got to see a real live pig deliver piglets. That was cool. There are shows all day long every day and lots of stuff for kids to do hands on. That's neat.

The traditional food contests were also neat. This year I am going to enter my raspberry jam. I want to enter an "ugly" cake too, but I just won't have time (or really the skill, just the morbid and gross ideas....). We enjoy seeing the animals and vegetables.

And then, when the day is all done, we head home exhausted (and belly sick from the fried food of course....).

Baby Update, 37 Weeks

I tested Strep +. Other than that everything was uneventful. No exam, all stats good. Dr. Pointy Shoes still optimistic about VBAC. Really optimistic. This is so different from what the online VBAC mother local community has been chatting about, I half expected to be putting up a fight by now and looking for a different provider- but so far so good!

So now we wait. In the meantime......

I don't feel ready. I don't feel put together. My laundry is undone again. I don't have all the diapers yet. The clothes pulled from the closet are not yet bagged up to go to donation. My class isn't released to students.

It is as if all my weekend anxiety over my Lil'Bug has transformed into an full blown raging tearful pregnancy mess of OMG I am not ready yet! I am also about ready to burst.

Part of it is cabin fever. Part of it is real. Part of it is hormones. Part of it is just everything being overwhelming.

And I know we are not using a nursery, but I totally see how that helped me prepare for Lil'Bug emotionally in a way that I have not done with June Bug. There is no way I am going out and purchasing a room suite to satisfy this either. That would be stupid. I have everything I need, really (except the last 1/2 of the diapers and a washable pail liner). I even bought a Moby Wrap on clearance so I have a 3rd baby carrier option.

But still panic, panic, panic.

Through it all Dearest Husband has been wonderful. He stopped and bought onsies, socks, hats and a diaper pail (a step pedal kitchen can really) on his way home from work. We moved the dresser we use as a changing table into the bathroom and strapped the changing pad to it. He planted the tomatoes, I planted the beans. Those little things have helped me feel more ready, but still.

We still need a name.

Matters of the Heart

Last week we saw our new pediatrician/family doctor for the first time. He was awesome, patient, accommodating. He saw Dearest and Lil'Bug in a double appointment with little notice. He explained things well.

Then.

Then he heard a heart murmur.

When Lil'Bug was born she had a faint heart murmur. We had to sleep her on her side instead of her back because of this. Then it went away. It was back? The places I observed him hear it and what he explained to us and then his referral to a Pediatric Cardiologist sent me into a minor (ok, major) heart flutter. I spent hours on the Internet. I sent even more time cuddling Lil'Bug hoping that it was nothing serious......but there were possibilities that everything was not ok. Very not ok. I laid awake at night thinking about it. I didn't blog about it because of the potential that everything would be ok and I was just blowing it out of proportion. I didn't want sympathy I didn't really deserve.

Today we saw the specialist. He and his staff were kind and efficient. Lil'Bug was cooperative but scared and I wasn't allowed in the x-ray room with her (big, fat preggo belly and all). Thank goodness for Dearest.

Lil'Bug has a murmur, an innocent murmur, with a musical tonality. We'll observe at check ups and that's it.

Tears were shed. Ice cream was had by all of us.

That's it. She's not going to drop dead during soccer practice or need heart surgery or need to be on machines or medicine or die. We feel very, very blessed. The waiting room was filled with families just like us, only some of them did not get the all clear. I cried for them tonight too.

That saying about a mother's heart walking around out in the world every time she becomes a mother to another precious babe? .....so very, very true.