Baby Update, 37 Weeks

I tested Strep +. Other than that everything was uneventful. No exam, all stats good. Dr. Pointy Shoes still optimistic about VBAC. Really optimistic. This is so different from what the online VBAC mother local community has been chatting about, I half expected to be putting up a fight by now and looking for a different provider- but so far so good!

So now we wait. In the meantime......

I don't feel ready. I don't feel put together. My laundry is undone again. I don't have all the diapers yet. The clothes pulled from the closet are not yet bagged up to go to donation. My class isn't released to students.

It is as if all my weekend anxiety over my Lil'Bug has transformed into an full blown raging tearful pregnancy mess of OMG I am not ready yet! I am also about ready to burst.

Part of it is cabin fever. Part of it is real. Part of it is hormones. Part of it is just everything being overwhelming.

And I know we are not using a nursery, but I totally see how that helped me prepare for Lil'Bug emotionally in a way that I have not done with June Bug. There is no way I am going out and purchasing a room suite to satisfy this either. That would be stupid. I have everything I need, really (except the last 1/2 of the diapers and a washable pail liner). I even bought a Moby Wrap on clearance so I have a 3rd baby carrier option.

But still panic, panic, panic.

Through it all Dearest Husband has been wonderful. He stopped and bought onsies, socks, hats and a diaper pail (a step pedal kitchen can really) on his way home from work. We moved the dresser we use as a changing table into the bathroom and strapped the changing pad to it. He planted the tomatoes, I planted the beans. Those little things have helped me feel more ready, but still.

We still need a name.

Matters of the Heart

Last week we saw our new pediatrician/family doctor for the first time. He was awesome, patient, accommodating. He saw Dearest and Lil'Bug in a double appointment with little notice. He explained things well.

Then.

Then he heard a heart murmur.

When Lil'Bug was born she had a faint heart murmur. We had to sleep her on her side instead of her back because of this. Then it went away. It was back? The places I observed him hear it and what he explained to us and then his referral to a Pediatric Cardiologist sent me into a minor (ok, major) heart flutter. I spent hours on the Internet. I sent even more time cuddling Lil'Bug hoping that it was nothing serious......but there were possibilities that everything was not ok. Very not ok. I laid awake at night thinking about it. I didn't blog about it because of the potential that everything would be ok and I was just blowing it out of proportion. I didn't want sympathy I didn't really deserve.

Today we saw the specialist. He and his staff were kind and efficient. Lil'Bug was cooperative but scared and I wasn't allowed in the x-ray room with her (big, fat preggo belly and all). Thank goodness for Dearest.

Lil'Bug has a murmur, an innocent murmur, with a musical tonality. We'll observe at check ups and that's it.

Tears were shed. Ice cream was had by all of us.

That's it. She's not going to drop dead during soccer practice or need heart surgery or need to be on machines or medicine or die. We feel very, very blessed. The waiting room was filled with families just like us, only some of them did not get the all clear. I cried for them tonight too.

That saying about a mother's heart walking around out in the world every time she becomes a mother to another precious babe? .....so very, very true.

Or Not To Bee....

This spring I have noticed an almost total absence of bees. I've only seen two wasps and they were both sluggish and died soon after with no assistance.

I didn't think much of it until the strawberries bloomed. Usually those are crawling with big fat bumble bees, but this year they are strangely devoid of not just bees but any insects at all. True, we have been able to document a handful of buggers over the last few weeks, but come on! This is Iowa! We usually swarm in the buzzing life by now to the point most people would be begging to bathe in DDT..... (Not us, of course).

So what's the deal?

Meme Time!

Ten Years Ago what were you doing, Mama P?

We were buying and moving into our first house. There were tornadoes through May and June. I was a nanny and a freshman in college. Just after we moved in, Dearest proposed to me. The following January we were married. That spring was magical despite the storms.

Five Things on Today’s “To Do” List

Bathe Lil'Bug

Battle tangles in her hair

Make lasagnas for the freezer

Sunday dinner with family

Work on summer syllabus (oops, forgot until just now!)

If I were a Billionaire

I'd no doubt have to get a lawyer, first. Much of my world is litigious. Then I'd pay the balance of my student loans, but then I wouldn't be a billionaire anymore! Just kidding, sort of.

I'd love to have thousands of wilderness acres and that farm life we've dreamed of.

I'd figure out some good things to do. The interest alone would fund several endeavours. In practice though I don't like most non-profit groups. More money goes to paying people to beg for more salary money (fundraising) than to do the actual program. Operating costs are often overblown. Just saying.

Three Bad Habits

Trusting the people to the point of getting taken advantage of, then not trusting enough, and oscillating between the two extremes.

Not saying thank you often enough.

I'm a sentimental packrat.

Five Places I’ve Lived

Greeley, Co

Deertrail, Co

Kankakee, Il

Jennings, La

Des Moines, Ia

Five Jobs I’ve Had

- Nanny
- Bookseller
- Credit Card Customer Service (thing learned: mostly, furniture salespeople in NJ are not to be trusted).
- Museum Curator/ Site Manager (re: underpaid secretary/bookkeeper who had to wear a 1900's costume when people visited the site)
- College Professor

You know, I wouldn't trade any of those jobs for the precious one I am entrusted to now.

Tag - you’re it!