I Care What You Think

So many times in just one day I read the words, I don't care what other people think.

This usually means that the person typing actually does care, because if they did not actually care they might not bother to spend time and emotional energy typing about it or even thinking about it.

I actually do care what other people think, but not in the same emotionally dependent way, perhaps.

I care what my friends think, I cherish their perspective and views and experiences. It may not change my mind or my view of the world, but I still value them and their thoughts. To say that I don't care what anyone thinks would be very disrespectful to all of those relationships.

It would be just as disrespectful to my community to hold back sharing my experiences and thoughts on things, especially if it helps someone else. I cannot fathom holding back my joy and sorrow just because one horrible anti-fan doesn't like what I am writing. Still, I also care about what they think, their experiences and perspectives and welcome all to share them here. Criticism has value too, though it is less irritating when it is respectfully carried out.

So I respectfully present you with rules for my blog:

1) If you ever disagree with me on anything I post, write, or say......tell me. I want to know your perspective. I value it. I am guessing that if you take the time to read what I am writing or be in my life, then you also value what I have to say and my experiences and my perspective.            

2) I will never delete your comments. I delete spam only. I don't even delete anonymous or mean or stupid haters. I really think that if someone decided to post some vile thing as a comment, it reflects on them not me and I find it to be so disrespectful of other readers to delete comments. Clearly we are all capable of making our own judgements and conversation can create real change Plus, I really think that people who "delete" comments and then discuss those so called comments are making it all up. I doubt anyone bothered to argue or comment at all ever. Either let us see the conversation unfold or it never happened. That's right. Never. Happened.

3) Share my posts, even if you disagree, even if your friends will bash what I have to say. If something I have written creates dialogue, then good.

4) If you see yourself in something I have written, ask me about it. If it is about you I will tell you, but 99% chances are that I already have and I have asked you if it is ok with you to write about.

5) I try very hard to ask permission to post pictures of other people that I take, but it usually only happens if my kid is also in the picture. If I post someone else's picture, I ask permission and give credit.

6) I do not elude to private conversations directly and bitch about them. Sometimes I will say that the topic has come up and write about it, but not directly bashing or quoting other people. That is disrespectful and wrong. It just is. On facebook or blogger, bashing people speaks to the bashers character and I don't want to be that person.

7) Share with me your research if you think it is relevant. I do not usually link to medical articles because links change and I prefer folks do their own research, but if you ask me I will send you what I have.  I really do spend a lot of time researching the topics I discuss - if you are curious just ask and I'll post the relevant information I used or tell you where I got the information from.


8) I love talking about my farm, my kids, and food. That's what this blog is all about: my perspective. So pretty much, I assume that if you don't want to read all about me and mine, you will go elsewhere on this huge and vast universe we call the Internet. No name calling needed. I happen to live an interesting, at least to me, life and I love writing. That's why I blog.

9) Ask me questions. Ask me anything, anytime. I will do my best to answer. Here's my email danelle@thestampsfamily.net

10) Everything here is public. So are my Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook. I have nothing to hide. Privacy settings are pretty much useless and token anyway, better used for pretending to control gossip and rank friendship status. I think that is stupid and mean and very much not awesome.

11) If you say something mean, racist, or deliberately cruel? I will call you out on it. How you react speaks to your character, not mine. My character code requires that I speak up for disabled children, speak out against racist jokes, not tolerate animal cruelty, and that I speak up for marriage equality.  That is who I am. If you are friends with me or have been reading here for any amount of time, you'll know that soon enough.

So that's what you can expect here. Those are the rules of engagement.

Also this: xkcd

For the record, I don't mean these rules to apply to anyone else's blog. These rules are for me and my house, other bloggers have their own. I respect that. If something annoys me, I stop reading it. If I love something, I try and let people know.