School

I think sometimes that as a homeschooling mama I forget the good things about public school. There are good things, not everyone can stay home with their kids and educate them, some families feel the need to have dual incomes. Not every family feels they are capable of home education, even though they probably are. Some families are abusive and the kids are better off away from them all day. There are plenty of needs that families have that are met by an education system that is collective and not run by parents.

I have met so many awful people who are teachers though. Horrible people, people who are mean to kids, people who hurt children, people who are control freaks and lash out at those minors under their care. Not to mention the absurdity of textbook data and group field trips where children are herded like cattle through things that might interest them.

And yet, many of the awesome moms I know were once elementary school teachers. A person in church cried last week because they were worried about their students and making a difference in their lives, genuinely moved because of their dedication to those children. My own life was touched in many positive ways by the good teachers I have had over the years and by the refuge from an abusive situation at home. Public school is not evil, though it may be flawed and corrupt in design, the people teaching are called to the profession and most love the children in their care.

As my thoughts were meandering a bit this morning, my heart settled on a particular problem I am having. There are social circles that I encounter parents who think homeschooling is a terrible injustice to my children, that homeschoolers are weird and their kids will be freaks, and some that think our decision is poorly thought out. This frustrates me. I don't immediately jump to those conclusions about public schooled families. Is every kid in PS a social butterfly with grace and wit? No. I certainly wasn't. Are there weird and quirky kids who get picked on and don't fit in? You bet. So all those worries about socialization? Yeah. Public school doesn't fix that and homeschooling doesn't cause that. I could cite academic statistics up and down the wall about achievement and success. It doesn't matter though.

What does matter is how my children and I are best suited for our educational choices and if someone decides to be snooty about it or demeaning it is on their heart and their issue not mine. Someday they might turn to me in need and I am not going to close doors to people just because of their ignorance. A fine example of this would be the grace extended to me years ago. I challenged some mamas about TV watching and video games on a homeschool list and instead of the firestorm that was likely by my negative attitude and disparaging comments...they walked gentle and simply educated and prodded me to think about my reasoning and what things might have led me there. They could have just closed the door.

Five years later I count these mamas in my circle of friends and admire them more and more with every encounter. I may not agree with them 100%, but the more I live this life the more I have to learn.

I find myself asking myself this dazzling grey morning, what losses have I incurred from closing doors on people? What loss from being locked out on the other side of that door? How much better would it be to simply stand firm and welcoming in my ideology to shine the light on ignorance or prejudice? I'm not saying it is better to never shut the door, sometimes it just needs to be slammed and barricaded and booby trapped to keep out evil but I think more thought should be put into that door and its traffic flow. You know?

Anyway, I was just thinking about this as I iron out my thoughts about how to better handle some of the negativity I am dealing with from a public school teacher at church. I wonder if I can better handle myself, not bristle so much when the negative comments are made. How can I set an example for my daughters that is graceful and patient both face to face and when I start fuming about it at home?

I'll let you know.