Beauty is in the Eye of the....

 

Lil'Bug's first punk rock hair cut. She wanted to dye it black but settled for stripes of dark brown. You know, some things are tricky- like me dying my hair. I was worried about how dying my hair red would be taken by our neighbors and extended family, never really considering the little ones at home. She confessed to me after the beauty day that she was sad that I dyed my hair and that's why she dyed hers too. We have the same natural hair color, why doesn't mama think that it is pretty? 

Yeah. Broke my heart. At five, a simple act of cosmetic drama, hurt her self esteem. We talked about it, but nothing I could say changed how she felt. I have a lot to think about before the next time I get my hair done.

I think that sometimes, especially when a child looks like a parent, that so much of the child's self view can be affected by the actions of the parent. If the parent doesn't self value, then neither will the child. Just like the billboards up all around Des Moines say, "Children live what they learn" or is it, "Children learn what they live"? So when a child sees their parent worrying over looking fat or putting on make up, all of those things hit them where it counts. It is a delicate balance though, if a parent says to the child that they do look just the same but they really don't, the child can start to self doubt too. I had a relative who was overweight constantly tell me we wore the same size dress and it made me doubt what I saw in a mirror. I weighed 85 lbs at the time. 

On the other hand, I really like dying my hair red. Working on the farm is hard and dusty. A little bit of colour cheers me up. I don't wear make up of a lot of jewlery, so this was a little bit of fun. I do wish that mattered to my kid's broken heart though. It doesn't.

I also think her stripes are really cool. I told her this. I think she may be having salon regret, but the change will grow on her. She can always decide to grow it out or do it again. It is her choice and I think that is a valuable lesson too.