Why Tuesday Really SUCKED

Over the past year I have related stories about the vet who let Lil'Bug help with the exam and even look at ear mites with the microscope. The dentist who lets her sit on my lap during MY exam. The Midwife who let Lil'Bug help with the prenatal exams with her toy tools.

Last week Lil'Bug had her first dentist visit and when they were cleaning her teeth she said the toothpaste burned she asked to stop. They stopped. They made no big deal about it.

Apparently, we've been blessed and lucky to encounter such child friendly professionals. Tuesday we went for my annual eye exam at the Des Moines Eye Clinic. Lil'Bug went with me last year, this year was no exception.

The exception was in how she/we were treated. It is not enough to say we will never go back there.

Lil'Bug was nervous and wanted to stay near me. So the assistant told her where she could play next to my chair. The OD came in and was really mad about where she was and picked up her toy and moved it. Lil'Bug was mad, but gracious. Then he stepped away and she thought he was done so she moved back (after all it was where the assistant told her to be). The OD was really angry. He took her toy and moved it. She cried and hid behind my chair. The Doc and stormed out while telling me to get control of my kid and how he couldn't work under these conditions.

I got up and comforted my child, my frightened and upset three year old. I set her on a chair and gave her my phone to hold. She asked to call Daddy. I said yes.

Doc comes back in the room and declares that he cannot work in the presence of a child with no respect for adult authority.

??

My child? My Lil'Bug who, to that point, had behaved civilly and wonderfully?

She looked at him and asked him to please be quiet so she could talk to her Daddy. He stormed out again. I gathered her and Blueberry up and walked out. As I walked out he continued yelling at me that I cannot bring children to eye appointments. Something about dilation and not being allowed to drive with children. Fine. I would have had Dearest come pick us up or taken the Metro Bus home. Whatever.

Lil'Bug turned to him and said, "You are a meanie."

Well, he was.

I said nothing. I did not stop to schedule another. I walked out. Calmly. Seething. With. Rage.

I mean, what just happened? Obviously he was having a bad day. Professionals don't usually act like divas about children, right? Doesn't matter. We are never going back. I was worried they would charge us and I wouldn't be able to go somewhere else, as my insurance covers only one annual exam per year. Dearest took care of that.

I wish I would have been about to say something to his face. I was at a loss for words. I was angry. I walked away.

Today Lil'Bug has been feeling anxious and upset because the "doctor" said she was bad and naughty. She WAS NOT. But he's an adult and said it to her.

So, we shall work through this, but really, is this what is expected? Is this how most professionals feel about children? I think we have stumbled upon one of the major flaws in our culture. Children should not be hidden away and excluded, they should be welcomed and brought into the folds of our daily lives. They are not second class citizens.

I am also reflective of my own reaction. This is how I always deal with bullies. I walk away. Silence. I don't stand up for myself. I don't like this, but I know no other way.

How We "School" Part 1

I've been asked to write a bit about how we do things around here and what our long term "plan" is. I don't mind a bit. It seems to fit in with all the curriculum listing others are doing. The thing is that I will likely do more ranting about "school" philosophy and raving about delight in learning than anything else. Also my oldest is almost 4, but we'll get to that in a bit.

What we do is as close to radical unschooling as anything else. I hate to put labels on things, but the reality of it is that the label has helped us find like minds, community, and lots of support locally and online. We attachment parent in addition to unschooling and that makes us radical unschoolers. So be it.

So what does that mean for us? How will our children learn to read and do math? All good questions. What that means for us is lots of conversation, a very special and respectful bond with our daughters. This extends to their interests and learning desires. I also don't take their interests and ruin them with too much academic parental intrusion. That's not cool. Here is an example:

Lil'Bug likes bugs. She catches them, plays with them, wants to read stories about them. We bought her a bug house and lots of books about bugs. We took her to the Science Center Bug night. She doesn't care for some of the books, but they were helpful to me so that I could learn data and answer her questions, use the book as a reference guide to help her identify the critters. What we also do is show GREAT enthusiasm when she presents her finds. I get out the camera and document, I ask her questions, I answer what I can, I ooh and ah over her delight. Dearest and I catch bugs too and present them to her with the same excitement.

We do not quiz her. We do not check out extra books and insist on reading them. We do not make her stay and listen to presentations and lectures at the park when she is not interested. We present opportunities and options but she knows they are hers to choose.

When we do count spots on the critters, or legs, or eyes, the counting has meaning and context. How many of something helps identify it, what kind of eyes and such tells us about what it eats or how it builds. We're not just singing a counting song without reason (though she's been known to break out into "nine pirate girls" just for fun!).

We do remind her that bugs are living creatures and we treat them with respect and care and always try to release them back to the places they were found.

Stay tuned for more!

Ta Da!

Wow. Heather and Sharon (Hmmm, I thought it was Sharon but now I can't find the post......) both bestowed this on me. Thanks ladies!

I shall pass it on to Laura at LifeDreamed who is cuddling her new little baby now!

EC at This is How We Do It, who's knack for eighties song references constantly has me falling out of my chair laughing. Her photography is awesome too!

Sarah at SaraSignature- also amazing photography!

Needleroozer- an inspiration in art and kindness. May Art For Food be a huge success!

There are MANY more amazing bloggers out there. Cheers and blessings to you all!

Apple in My Eye

Last week a co-worker of Dearest's invited us to pick apples at her farm.

Ooooooh. Apples. I love apples. Really. A lot. (((((drool)))))

I finally had an excuse to buy a fruit picker arm.


The drive there was lovely.

Once we were there an older guy was working on a tractor. He helped me at first as I got set up and got the hang of it. He thinks the apple tree is the variety Wealthy. Neat. Also, they are absolutely delicious.

They are organic by neglect. Appearantly no one even picks them. I don't understand. How can you not eat the glorious fruits if they are growing in your own back yard.

While I was picking, Lil'Bug got a hold of my camera. I have never let her touch it, somehow she not only got the hang of it but has excellent eye for composition. I'll do a separate post with her pictures.

I got the hand of the tool, but before that happened I was beaned in the head a couple times by falling fruit. No, I did not invent calculus later that day. I did however eat a lot of apples!

I brought home a bucket load. Wealthy are not good for storing so I will be making pies, pie filling, and apple butter.