Last night was Bradley class. We did an encouragement exercise and went through the stages of labor. Lots of questions were asked by us and other students. What can go wrong, what steps lead up to interventions, etc.
After class, Dear Husband and I spent a little bit of time in the car driving to get Lil'Bug from Nana's house discussing things. He was concerned that I am over analyzing what went wrong with Lil'Bug's birth and blaming myself for things beyond my control. ???? So we talked. My memory is pretty fuzzy about that day's events, it was interesting to here it from his perspective. The summary of it was this: the fibroids did horrible things that made the chemicals and muscles in my body not able to function in accordance. Labor was impossible with no dilation and zero effacement and yet strong hyper contractions. Add IV chemicals to the mix and it became a dangerous situation. We made the right decision to C-Section to end up with us both healthy.
Does this mean that early on I could have done things differently to have a better outcome? Maybe. The fibroids were pretty established when I got pregnant. I ate well, but not as well as I now know I could have. I didn't exercise, I didn't inform myself of all the possibilities. I simply paid for things that I thought would safeguard us from intervention due to statistics. In reality, nothing could have. Perhaps if I had been informed better I would not have had such postpartum guilt. Perhaps.
Perhaps it is time to release those questions and move on.
The encouragement session was lovely. My husband is amazing and entertaining. When it was my turn to say nice things about him, it all came out wrong. So I will restate it here, for the record:
1) He's been wonderful about helping with meal planning and paying attention to the details. Variety and nutrition have been very important and having a second set of eyes on my weekly plan has really helped. As a bonus, he picks out the most awesome fruit and veggies and knows when they are ripe (I don't). Plus, he helps cook and doesn't complain when I try something new.
2) He is good about taking Lil'Bug out for Daddy/Daughter dates and giving me a chance to catch up at home or work or just rest. We have a tricky balance here of housework and my teaching online and Lil'Bug and Husband taking classes and playing in a band so our partnership is the key to what makes the balance work.
3) He reminds me to do my exercises and helps me to remember to take breaks. He's done his reading too. Every book I set next to the bed for him to read has been read. He's also been amazing when I get emotional and worried and freaked out.
I'm not including here the one thing I said he could do better. We all do that same thing at our house, and it was unfair for me to bring it up in class. I am sorry dear.
Tuesday, 19 February 2008
Contemplative
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Sunday, 17 February 2008
Photo Challenge 7- Local
What is your local view? What does local mean to you?
This one was inspired by our farm visit last week as I realized that even here in Iowa the view out the window changes every so many miles. We've also been talking about local food systems, wildlife, and businesses in our conversations online- the threads of discussion embedded the word in my mind for contemplation this week.
This one was inspired by our farm visit last week as I realized that even here in Iowa the view out the window changes every so many miles. We've also been talking about local food systems, wildlife, and businesses in our conversations online- the threads of discussion embedded the word in my mind for contemplation this week.
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Saturday, 16 February 2008
Farm Day
We visited a friend on her CSA farm yesterday. Wow. What a treat! Her daughter and Lil'Bug are pretty close to the same age and temperament. This meant that the first hour or so of them getting to know each other involved crying, throwing things, and more crying. Then they warmed up to each other and played pretty well.
I got to talk food, diapers, babies, houses, schoolishness, farming, etc. Good times that. Before we knew it, it was time to go. A very good day indeed.
I got to talk food, diapers, babies, houses, schoolishness, farming, etc. Good times that. Before we knew it, it was time to go. A very good day indeed.
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Phones
Ok, so I've mentioned my aversion to telephones and now I should probably answer the question, eh?
When I was a kid my parents used to make me call to make doctor and dentist appointments, get information on classes (that I'd never get to take) etc. I was so terrified that I'd make myself a script to read and then notate and fill in the lines where the receiving person would respond. I'd do this with friends too as a teenagers, especially boys. The script helped, but to this day, I'd still rather not initiate phone calls.
As an adult, I worked at a call center for a bank's division of credit fielding angry calls from customers about their credit cards. Headphones that streamed calls in non-stop. If I turned it off for a moment, my time card was docked. There were ways around this, but really it was 200+ calls in 8 hours. Oh, with the mirror in 1/4 cubical so we could make sure we smiled while conversing with the "customer". I lasted about 4 months until another job offer came in. I can't believe I lasted that long, but the pay was ok and the benefits were good. Still, soured the whole phone thing for me even more.
Then we went wireless at home. Cell phones = dollars per minute. No problem, until my new job required a lot of phone based networking on my own time. For some reason I really enjoyed that. It was mostly talking old houses and preservation stuff, so I was in my groove when the calls came in. Generally, I did not make calls.
Suddenly, I was this mom who loved to talk on the phone. I mean I was really in love with it. I talked on the phone with friends multiple times a day despite the fact that I saw them a good portion of every day. I was on the phone with someone, work or not, almost 10 hours a day. Seriously. You know the moms who chat on their cell phones while pushing their kids on swings at the park? That was me. One day Lil'Bug, at 9 months old, started holding things up to her ear and babbling into the pretend phone and then turning away from me when I tried to play with her. Message received.
The thought of talking on the phone while trying to care for my family and home just took on a whole new feeling for me. I resigned from many things and scaled back a lot, almost to nothing.
So, the effects of this are pretty evident. I work and network mostly through email, but not everybody does or even checks email daily so sometimes I miss out. Some people get really offended when I email them back after they've left me a phone message. There is also a level of intimacy that people gain chatting on the phone, but for me I get distracted and feel like I'm not giving my all. So, I make due with the technology that suits me best when I have time to attend to it. I also blog so I don't end up repeating the same stories about our day to the many long distance relatives who do call. We all still get to be connected and they even have said they like the almost daily log with pictures better! :)
When I was a kid my parents used to make me call to make doctor and dentist appointments, get information on classes (that I'd never get to take) etc. I was so terrified that I'd make myself a script to read and then notate and fill in the lines where the receiving person would respond. I'd do this with friends too as a teenagers, especially boys. The script helped, but to this day, I'd still rather not initiate phone calls.
As an adult, I worked at a call center for a bank's division of credit fielding angry calls from customers about their credit cards. Headphones that streamed calls in non-stop. If I turned it off for a moment, my time card was docked. There were ways around this, but really it was 200+ calls in 8 hours. Oh, with the mirror in 1/4 cubical so we could make sure we smiled while conversing with the "customer". I lasted about 4 months until another job offer came in. I can't believe I lasted that long, but the pay was ok and the benefits were good. Still, soured the whole phone thing for me even more.
Then we went wireless at home. Cell phones = dollars per minute. No problem, until my new job required a lot of phone based networking on my own time. For some reason I really enjoyed that. It was mostly talking old houses and preservation stuff, so I was in my groove when the calls came in. Generally, I did not make calls.
Suddenly, I was this mom who loved to talk on the phone. I mean I was really in love with it. I talked on the phone with friends multiple times a day despite the fact that I saw them a good portion of every day. I was on the phone with someone, work or not, almost 10 hours a day. Seriously. You know the moms who chat on their cell phones while pushing their kids on swings at the park? That was me. One day Lil'Bug, at 9 months old, started holding things up to her ear and babbling into the pretend phone and then turning away from me when I tried to play with her. Message received.
The thought of talking on the phone while trying to care for my family and home just took on a whole new feeling for me. I resigned from many things and scaled back a lot, almost to nothing.
So, the effects of this are pretty evident. I work and network mostly through email, but not everybody does or even checks email daily so sometimes I miss out. Some people get really offended when I email them back after they've left me a phone message. There is also a level of intimacy that people gain chatting on the phone, but for me I get distracted and feel like I'm not giving my all. So, I make due with the technology that suits me best when I have time to attend to it. I also blog so I don't end up repeating the same stories about our day to the many long distance relatives who do call. We all still get to be connected and they even have said they like the almost daily log with pictures better! :)
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)