Friday, 24 August 2007
"maintenance" free
You know what this quote is really about? Vinyl siding. Or really anything else that claims to be "maintenance" free. It is one of the joys (hear my voice drop an octave and my eyes look sternly at you) of old house living: everything is repairable. The problem is really when it all needs it at the same time and it is all so minor that you cannot justify paying someone to do it nor find the time to actually do it yourself. Luckily we are not dealing with vinyl siding. Just lots and lots of rain and a cat.
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
Top 10 People: Part 2
I've decided to do a different kind of top 10 people list. The inspiration hit me in the car last month driving to meet Mama B for berry picking. What occurred to me was that my homeschooling friends may not know how much they impacted my resolve to homeschool. They welcomed me into a wonderful community even though Lil'Bug is only 2.5 and most would think she is too young for school. I have difficulty making friends, but this group just let me slip in and suddenly I was part of the group!
But my inspiration really came from a stranger. I get asked a lot about homeschooling, and then challenged like this, "What makes you think you can do a better job than someone who spent 4 years in college learning about early education?" 1) I have three times the education/degrees as the typical K-12 teacher and 2) No they didn't. They spent likely 2 semesters worth of classes on specialized subject matter and got a B or better in their major. They only needed a C or better average in the rest. 3) Now this is the kicker, the best teachers I have ever known or had only, or barely, have a high school degree OR they flunked out of high school and went to college anyway. Seriously. It's not about generic assessment, it is about passion for learning.
So my top ten people impacting my home schooling right now are as follows:
1) My husband: He humors me most of the time, but is wholeheartedly and actively supporting Lil'Bug's education. He is the smartest most well read person I have ever met. He dropped out of high school 2 weeks before graduation and then completed his HS requirements at the local community college in less than that time.
2) Lil'Bug: One of the best teachers I have ever had. I learn so much from her everyday.
3) H. at minimemoirs: I am lucky I met her on one of the local boards. She really knows her stuff.
4) Mama B. makes a kickin' cup of tea and is the best listener. She is a stellar example of resourcefulness in homeschooling and resolve to start early. Her kiddos will thank her someday. We thank her now.
5) E. and the kids down the street. I was working on our neighborhood newsletter and googled the new family. Up came an article about "unschooling".....curious, I researched it. Then I got to know them. Amazing kids.
6) J. from my very first composition class. A homeschool kid with mad grammar skills and a natural leader. He was stuck on subject matter so I directed him to "unschooling" and a research project that compared his own experience of traditional religious method to the theory of unschooling. Neat. He was the first student in the class and the first to call me Professor ever. Then he became the college student newspaper's head editor, though I pushed him in that direction a little bit. Oh, wait, I thought homeschoolers couldn't get into college? :)
7) Montucky Rox. A woman and family member that I admire. We went to visit her and discovered that she had homeschooled and knew of John Holt. We even misplace our glasses the same way. Every time I connect with her we discover some other facet of connection.
8) The online community. Everyday I meet or connect with another family and get ideas and support from complete strangers. Like Amy at the Foil Hat or Needleroozer at Turtle Works or some lady named Christine who I thought was a local Christine until her icon popped up and it was not Christine but a blogger that I didn't know at Welcome to my Brain.....(see my blogroll for those links.)
9) All the rest of my family. We are lucky to have such support. I suspect that they really like that we travel as part of our learning!
10) Me. Can I say that? What comes down to the foundation of it all is that I know I can. I know it's right for all of us. My projected confidence and humor gets others to support us too. I do doubt myself sometimes, but I'm working on that. I'm the mom.
So who influences you? This isn't really a meme since I just came up with it and it's just a list. Should I tag someone? :)
But my inspiration really came from a stranger. I get asked a lot about homeschooling, and then challenged like this, "What makes you think you can do a better job than someone who spent 4 years in college learning about early education?" 1) I have three times the education/degrees as the typical K-12 teacher and 2) No they didn't. They spent likely 2 semesters worth of classes on specialized subject matter and got a B or better in their major. They only needed a C or better average in the rest. 3) Now this is the kicker, the best teachers I have ever known or had only, or barely, have a high school degree OR they flunked out of high school and went to college anyway. Seriously. It's not about generic assessment, it is about passion for learning.
So my top ten people impacting my home schooling right now are as follows:
1) My husband: He humors me most of the time, but is wholeheartedly and actively supporting Lil'Bug's education. He is the smartest most well read person I have ever met. He dropped out of high school 2 weeks before graduation and then completed his HS requirements at the local community college in less than that time.
2) Lil'Bug: One of the best teachers I have ever had. I learn so much from her everyday.
3) H. at minimemoirs: I am lucky I met her on one of the local boards. She really knows her stuff.
4) Mama B. makes a kickin' cup of tea and is the best listener. She is a stellar example of resourcefulness in homeschooling and resolve to start early. Her kiddos will thank her someday. We thank her now.
5) E. and the kids down the street. I was working on our neighborhood newsletter and googled the new family. Up came an article about "unschooling".....curious, I researched it. Then I got to know them. Amazing kids.
6) J. from my very first composition class. A homeschool kid with mad grammar skills and a natural leader. He was stuck on subject matter so I directed him to "unschooling" and a research project that compared his own experience of traditional religious method to the theory of unschooling. Neat. He was the first student in the class and the first to call me Professor ever. Then he became the college student newspaper's head editor, though I pushed him in that direction a little bit. Oh, wait, I thought homeschoolers couldn't get into college? :)
7) Montucky Rox. A woman and family member that I admire. We went to visit her and discovered that she had homeschooled and knew of John Holt. We even misplace our glasses the same way. Every time I connect with her we discover some other facet of connection.
8) The online community. Everyday I meet or connect with another family and get ideas and support from complete strangers. Like Amy at the Foil Hat or Needleroozer at Turtle Works or some lady named Christine who I thought was a local Christine until her icon popped up and it was not Christine but a blogger that I didn't know at Welcome to my Brain.....(see my blogroll for those links.)
9) All the rest of my family. We are lucky to have such support. I suspect that they really like that we travel as part of our learning!
10) Me. Can I say that? What comes down to the foundation of it all is that I know I can. I know it's right for all of us. My projected confidence and humor gets others to support us too. I do doubt myself sometimes, but I'm working on that. I'm the mom.
So who influences you? This isn't really a meme since I just came up with it and it's just a list. Should I tag someone? :)
Breastfeeding
I will apologize up front to the relatives who read this and still see me as a 6 year old girl. I'm going to talk about boobs. Don't read any further if that's going to upset you.
I've been reading over at Welcome to My Brain and pondering some of the comments and posts on lactivism. It was really sad when I began breastfeeding. We had to work so hard to get it to work for us and I did so under a blanket or hiding in a guest room. My first week home from the hospital I visited a friend (mistake # 1, should stay in bed after major surgery) and walking up the stairs to the guest room to sit on the floor to feed my newborn (standing up was mistake # 2) and then ending up in the ER because I had torn things internally. All because I felt an imposed shame, I could have died from internal bleeding. Who would have seen? A supportive mother friend who formula fed her kid. I have no idea why I felt the need to hide from her. It took me two years to finally get the confidence to breastfeed in public AND stand up for others doing so.
It's what they are for. I'm glad mine worked. I am also glad that women like Christine at WTMB work so hard to help normalize it visually. She has beautiful photos! My daughter often pretends to feed her babies (and recently the cat) her mommy milk. It is so sweet. It also reminds me that I worked really hard to give that to her and I wouldn't change a thing (except the stupidity that landed me in the ER). I feel bad for women who quit because they feel pressured to use formula or ashamed of the exposure, I can empathize. Been there, done that, but I didn't give in to peer pressure. I am blessed beyond measure to have a wonderful husband who encouraged me, drove me to the ER, and encouraged me some more. I could not have stood the front without his guard.
So that's my thank you for the day: to my dearest husband, thank you for being a great dad and husband. Thank you for facilitating breastfeeding our daughter. Thank you for everything.
I've been reading over at Welcome to My Brain and pondering some of the comments and posts on lactivism. It was really sad when I began breastfeeding. We had to work so hard to get it to work for us and I did so under a blanket or hiding in a guest room. My first week home from the hospital I visited a friend (mistake # 1, should stay in bed after major surgery) and walking up the stairs to the guest room to sit on the floor to feed my newborn (standing up was mistake # 2) and then ending up in the ER because I had torn things internally. All because I felt an imposed shame, I could have died from internal bleeding. Who would have seen? A supportive mother friend who formula fed her kid. I have no idea why I felt the need to hide from her. It took me two years to finally get the confidence to breastfeed in public AND stand up for others doing so.
It's what they are for. I'm glad mine worked. I am also glad that women like Christine at WTMB work so hard to help normalize it visually. She has beautiful photos! My daughter often pretends to feed her babies (and recently the cat) her mommy milk. It is so sweet. It also reminds me that I worked really hard to give that to her and I wouldn't change a thing (except the stupidity that landed me in the ER). I feel bad for women who quit because they feel pressured to use formula or ashamed of the exposure, I can empathize. Been there, done that, but I didn't give in to peer pressure. I am blessed beyond measure to have a wonderful husband who encouraged me, drove me to the ER, and encouraged me some more. I could not have stood the front without his guard.
So that's my thank you for the day: to my dearest husband, thank you for being a great dad and husband. Thank you for facilitating breastfeeding our daughter. Thank you for everything.
Thank you and I am Sorry
I've been reading Lynn Truss's book Talk to the Hand; it is about modern manners and the disintegration of polite exchange between human beings. She contends that we establish personal boundaries by being polite. The chapters I just finished were about Thank You and I am Sorry.
My thoughts: I wish I was better at writing Thank You cards/notes. I love getting them, but I never remember to send them. I have 100+ cards in a drawer ready for use but I always forget. I try really hard to say thank you in person, face to face. I also try to show my gratitude in other way, like returning the favor or kindness or by random acts of kindness (to show my gratitude of life). Grateful people are happy people because the appreciate the small things and happy is contagious.
Sometimes it is hurtful when I do something really big and hard and the person doesn't say thank you. Every time I babysat as a teenager, if the kids were older, I would clean the kitchen and help the kids pick up their rooms. People like to come home to clean rather than chaos. As an adult, I decided the same was true for vacationing friends. My sister cleans house when she dog sits for us. It's nice. I love it. I do it for others. When they don't notice or say thank you, it hurts a little. I have to ground myself and remind the inner me that I didn't do it for the reward of a vocal "thank you", I did it to be nice.
However, I want my daughter to say thank you. I want her to learn gratitude and understand the work that goes in to seemingly small kindnesses.
I also want her to say I am Sorry and mean it. I am constantly apologizing for everything to people, "Sorry, I talked your ear off," "Sorry, I vomited on you," "Sorry, I didn't see you there!" AND the big, hard one, "I am sorry I hurt you or your feelings." This week had the realization that I can count on my fingers the times that someone has apologized TO me. Friends and family that is. Why is taking personal responsibility for your own actions so hard? Why is acknowledging the affect those actions/choices have on others so hard?
I started paying attention to how people apologize: "I am sorry you are hurt by what I said," is not the same as "I'm sorry I hurt you." or "I am sorry I said that."
Then I heard this, "Be the change you want to see...."
Ok. Here goes.
My thoughts: I wish I was better at writing Thank You cards/notes. I love getting them, but I never remember to send them. I have 100+ cards in a drawer ready for use but I always forget. I try really hard to say thank you in person, face to face. I also try to show my gratitude in other way, like returning the favor or kindness or by random acts of kindness (to show my gratitude of life). Grateful people are happy people because the appreciate the small things and happy is contagious.
Sometimes it is hurtful when I do something really big and hard and the person doesn't say thank you. Every time I babysat as a teenager, if the kids were older, I would clean the kitchen and help the kids pick up their rooms. People like to come home to clean rather than chaos. As an adult, I decided the same was true for vacationing friends. My sister cleans house when she dog sits for us. It's nice. I love it. I do it for others. When they don't notice or say thank you, it hurts a little. I have to ground myself and remind the inner me that I didn't do it for the reward of a vocal "thank you", I did it to be nice.
However, I want my daughter to say thank you. I want her to learn gratitude and understand the work that goes in to seemingly small kindnesses.
I also want her to say I am Sorry and mean it. I am constantly apologizing for everything to people, "Sorry, I talked your ear off," "Sorry, I vomited on you," "Sorry, I didn't see you there!" AND the big, hard one, "I am sorry I hurt you or your feelings." This week had the realization that I can count on my fingers the times that someone has apologized TO me. Friends and family that is. Why is taking personal responsibility for your own actions so hard? Why is acknowledging the affect those actions/choices have on others so hard?
I started paying attention to how people apologize: "I am sorry you are hurt by what I said," is not the same as "I'm sorry I hurt you." or "I am sorry I said that."
Then I heard this, "Be the change you want to see...."
Ok. Here goes.
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