Swimming and Growing Up

 After three days of struggling with cat fighting and bickering and outright rudeness, the kids finally got to go swimming.

I struggle with consequence as a gentle, respect focused parent. The kids were rude to strangers. They were openly rude to me while I was trying to take them somewhere they wanted to go. This was yesterday.

Because of this, we went home instead of swimming and they proclaimed I was the worst mother in the whole history of the entire world.

I felt like that too. I hate swimming. They love it. It was too easy for me to just take that from them because I hate it. Still, their behaviour to strangers at the post office was not ok.

We made it home, chilled out, slept it off, and then tried again today. I believe in second chances.

Lily was with us too. She decided to not have her picture on the blog today. She is always asked and I respect that.

We played at the pool for two hours. Full sun. No sunscreen. No sunburns. Just making note of that for the record.

Then we came home, the kids did chores, ate dinner, one went to bed early and the other two are cuddling. It was proclaimed that this was the best day ever. Perhaps I am not the worst mom in the entire world, at least not today.

Humans are complicated. What is true for us in the present moment is all there is. More so for children. I have a headache that is kicking my butt this week and Lily says that I have had this headache since she turned nine. Holly thinks that it will be summer forever. Isaac only has today and watermelon and swimming and trains. We lose it slowly as we get older, stretching our histories and timelines, blocking out grudges and tragedies like flags planted in the rocks of the moon and orbiting around our core sense of who we are. Oh to be three again and just be in that watermelon sweet, joy of cold water splashing moment.

Being a mother, being their mother, I get the gift of this joy. I get to be loved by them and share in their childhood. Oh how I am so very grateful for these moments, even when they are balanced with the moments of their anger and frustrations.