Chores, a Thinking Response....

I was discussing a few days ago what chores my kids do, what ages are appropriate for what chores.

What immediately came to mind was our Amish neighbor who's 6 year old son (and his 2 other son's and a couple nephews) helped him build a roof on a two story house. Each helped according to their skill and ability. Sometimes, even most of the time, the youngest just sat and watched, fetched tools, and the like- BUT there was a hard to get to joist inside the porch roof being rebuilt and he's the one who crawled in with the drill and got that end. Too young? I don't think so. I mean, the Amish obviously are doing something right considering.

After being blessed to witness that and that same week hearing a lovely piece of wisdom from a local homeschooler (never turn down kid help, and don't question its value or redo it if you can help it or it won't happen again)...I decided to adopt a middle ground. Our farm needs to function with a degree of safety and I can't do everything.

I think kids today are underestimated. Not given enough responsibility and that does them a disservice. So my girls do chores WITH me. All of them to varying degrees, to each their own ability. I'm not building houses here, but I do think it is important that they learn the cost of things, how to budget for food and needs, how to purchase things, how to clean and keep organized, nutrition, food preparation, laundry and dishes, and basic household management things. I have had to learn as I go as an adult and that has done a disservice to my family. The one thing I did know was how to balance a checkbook (thanks Dad!) but that doesn't always make the money fairy show up at our door. Ha! Seriously though. These skills are extremely important and they are an apprentice trade by nature.

Why relegate your kids to just trash take out or some other small insignificant chore? Why not have them help you with it all and make it an important part of your life? I think that part of the problem lies in how we view these tasks, as degrading. They are not. They are the ying to the yang of the breadwinner or the ying to the yang of the farmer and labourer. One needs the other and both thrive when seen as equally important to the growing family. Sounds a little old fashioned  I suppose.

Honestly I need to set a better example even still for my children. I am improving, at a steady pace. I decided not to beat myself up and just keep working on it. In the next couple months I plan to revamp our clothing and laundry system because I have serious issues there. For now, clean clothes in baskets will have to do. Mt. Washmore is not yet ready to be conquered, for now......

Back to the issue at hand. There are some chores Lily does completely on her own. I read somewhere recently (I can't find it!) that kids need chore guidance in this order:
1)watching
2)helping with full assistance
3)helping with little assistance
4)doing with supervision
5)doing with no supervision and a check later
6)doing with full trust and responsibility

A lot of chore discussion just skips from #1 and assigns tasks at the #5-6 level. That is a bit unfair to the kid. What if you were training for a job and that was done to you? You'd probably adapt, but it would be frustrating and a negative experience most likely.

So what does my 5 year old do with full responsibility? Nothing. Not yet. Right now there is always a double check later even if she doesn't realize it because her chores involve livestock and that is ultimately our responsibility. But at the #5 level, she lets the chickens out, takes them scraps, collects and washes eggs, feeds them their grain, and fluffs their nests. She does all of that without being asked, every morning. She feeds and waters the cat. She's in charge of making sure the bathrooms have toilet paper and on dump run day she collects bath and laundry room trash bags. She collects cans out of Dearest's office. At the lesser levels, she does almost EVERYTHING I do. Yes, everything to a degree. I say almost because the pigs are big enough now that she is not allowed in the pen, but her part of that chore is to watch her sister for 15 minutes. She does a great job too. She helps wash the whey buckets, load and unload them. She does a lot of things, too many to list. And she still PLAYS most of the day. Sometimes I'll go check on her and find her taking care of a task unasked, just because she saw that it needs to be done.

She surprises me sometimes with what she is ready for, what she is willing to help with. And I know her limits better now than I did when we lived in the city. We also don't do allowances. She does earn money, but she saves most of it for her future horse. She earns that by collecting metal and glass from the drive and the field that the horse will be kept, 5 cents a piece. That serves a double purpose, since those items would hurt the horse (and the tractor/car tires). Sometimes she gets mad and breaks things, money for repair comes out of the horse $ jar. Sometimes she asks for extra chores and then buys something little for her sister or one of her friends. But the $$ are not related to the "chores" that are key to keeping our home healthy and happy.

That's my take on it. Perhaps it is a little radical considering what everyone is used to, but it works for us most of the time! :)