Holiday Generosity

I love Christmas. I love the lights and smells and the opportunity for gathering and gifting. I love dressing up and I love cookies. It may sound hokey, but I would love it if Christmas lasted all year. LOVE it.

For me Christmas isn't all about that stuff. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, the new hope that was given to humanity. I know I don't usually get preachy, because my faith is a very personal thing for me, but this simple fact gets really lost in the commercialism of the holiday. There is no reminder of hope to be circled in toy books, no joy in the Sunday ads, and no salvation in the aisles of the superstores. For a moment forget what things you have to buy for people and think about what you would do if you had no money at all to buy anything, not even your own food this holiday. What would you do? What would your family say to you? What would happen?

Some of us have known this hard reality, some would rather go into un-payable debt than face the humiliation of being empty handed at gift giving events. It is so ingrained into our American culture that stuff is important. It is nice, I actually really love that the girls get new clothes and toys at the holidays, but you know, it is not what the holidays are about.

I want my children to know that Christmas is about the birth of a single man who died for our salvation. What amazing generosity that is! My family doesn't get bombarded with toy commercials simply because we don't watch TV daily and we don't bring home the ToysRus sampler, though we have cruised the store and certainly can and do choose things that interest us.  The bigger part of the equation, the one that is an everyday lesson, is generosity. If you see someone has a need and you have the means to help them, do so. I have food, you are hungry, share a meal with me. I have knowledge you need, I will teach you. You have a sadness, I will let you cry on my shoulder and make a mean cup of tea. We seem to draw to us, those who live the same way, walk the same path. We all try to be generous not just with resources, but with compassion and understanding.

That is a big lesson for me, as I have been stingy with compassion at times. I now try even harder to assess my frustrations with people and family, while still protecting my nestlings from harm, with a lens of compassion. Everybody has hurts that shape their hearts, leaving the past behind is not entirely possible. I often fail to trust, and it takes prayer for me to relax and allow myself some room to open up to friendship. Even so, there are a handful of people I still need to be more compassionate with. That rambling may not make any sense at all, but bear with me while I process this.

My point is, this Christmas, make time for something new. Hand make each card, try to do the same with gifts. Do this with your children and friends. Think about what you are giving to each person, is it something they need? Does it speak of your love for them? Why not?

My Lil'Bug gets Christmas. Last year all she wanted was cookies because, "I already have every toy in the whole world!" When pressured she agreed to ask for a new tent because her got broken in a kid mosh. The year before that she asked for a sister (to be fair that was also her wishing star wish, birthday wish, and wishing well wishes for almost 18 months). This year she simply asked Santa for a new board game because she really loves playing board games with Daddy. Then the mall Santa handed her a packet of things and in it was a fold out north pole/candyland thing- bam, she's, "got Christmas covered!" Now she wants to make sure everyone gets cookies and we have a nice pretty tree. That's it. No toy ad circling, no gimme gimmes. She's 5! She gets it.

I got it when I was 18. I filled stockings with joy, I made sure everyone had a present, I invited friends to our home. When present time came, I got nothing. Nothing. As it turns out, my gifts were simply unwrapped and left hidden- discovered 3 days later by a family member. You know what? That was an awesome gift that I got nothing. It really spoke to my heart as I sat and watched everyone laughing and singing and loving each other. I said nothing that night because my heart was so full of joy that presents didn't matter to me. That was the night that my faith, that had rooted and grown secretly over the years, really bloomed. That was my Christmas gift: a heart full of joy despite the struggles of that year, despite the hopelessness that I fought off in my quiet time, despite guilt that I carried for others for my whole childhood. That night it was all lifted from me, even if just for that night, I knew it was possible. The following year was the answer to all my lifelong prayers: my first kiss shared with Dearest, independence from hurt, and a new beginning.

So this Christmas think about what a gift really is, what it means, and what you are truly giving.

Merry Christmas friends.