Full of Wonders

The world is so big. I used to think this was a childhood thing. That the world was as wide and as big as all I could see from my highest tree swing. It's bigger. So much bigger. It gets bigger everyday.

We spent the day at the Science Center exploring. The girls know what to expect, go right to their favourites, but Isaac.....it is all pretty new to him. We avoided it mostly when he was little because of germs and vaccination season (shedding), and flu season. Now, I think, we can navigate the place on a not busy weekday and also he's over the whole licking things phase (I think/hope).

We spent the day runnning full speed ahead through life and everything. CAVES! SNAKES! STARS! OOOOOOH LEGOS! ROCKET SHIP! Everything was good and better and wonderful.

Pretty much. That's our life these days.

Fresh Made Beds

Fresh made beds. We used to totally ignore making beds. Why bother? But ever since I got my favourite bed out of storage and set up, furniture arranged how I like it, and the room just right? I want it made every morning. So, it gets made. And laundry placed on it to be folded? Gets folded quickly.

Making this a daily routine has helped my spirit lift and get the rest of my day organised.

Bonus? I posted the pic on FB and got so much love! I mean, I love the space and the colours, but hearing compliments is always a nice thing. Thank you all!

I'm getting ready for a pretty big trip here to visit a friend and give her a big hug. We've been gearing up for it for months, but everything fell into place and I leave in 6 days. Wow.

Still to do: Pack freezer meals for Chad and the kids. Clean Holly's room. Clean out both storage rooms. Set up weight bench in one and desk in the second. Take clothes to charity. Pack. Again. Clean camera. Print tickets.

Back to work!

Dragonish

There is a children's book, Travel Light, by Naomi Mitchison, that says, "Will she stay dragonish and hoard wealth and possessions, or will she travel light?"

I am about to set sail again, this time to go halfway round this big world to give a friend a hug: Ten days in Eastern Europe.

I travel light. Early on, when day tripping and camping with Lily when she was a toddler, I over packed. In the Rockie Mountains I realised that I seriously only needed one small bag and diapers for the both of us for the week. I had packed a stroller we never once used, extra clothes we never wore, we washed the ones we did half way through the trip, and never touched the toys or books we brought. What a waste of space and extra gas to haul stuff all over. Now we pack a small cooler, diapers, and a backpack for each kid and mom. That's all we need and it is enough.

I thought maybe I was being silly, under-prepared even. Still, this was put to the test when I travelled by bus to Georgia in the winter. It worked out just fine.

I don't need much, I wear my bulkiest clothes to travel and pack light. Usually just one backpack though I am being encouraged to take a carry on too, empty, so I can bring things back with me. Maybe. I have not decided yet. It sounds like a good idea, but I am most comfortable with just my backpack.

I wear jeans and a sweater to travel, and my red coat (which is currently missing and I am freaked out about). Boots. Hat. Earrings and necklace.

I pack, 2 skirts, 4 shirts, one nicer dress, underwear, a bar of shampoo soap, and a pair of ballet flats. Then a book to read, phone charger, notebook. Maybe a lip gloss (though that got me in trouble at TSA last time....), maybe an eyeliner and mascara.

All of that fits, usually with my computer, in just my backpack. I travelled to Georgia just like this.

This time, here's where I am struggling......this time I am considering taking my camera (not just my phone camera) and (cue drums of doom) leaving my laptop home.

OMG. WTF. SERIOUSLY?! FREAK OUT.

Really.

Even now, as I am sitting here, I have 4 hours to write and what did I do? I complained about the wi-fi connection, messed around on facebook, opened files, made a new station on Pandora, and now I only have 2 hours left.

This is a trip of a lifetime. I mean for it to be the first of many, but it may be the only trip I take. I am going to an ancient city with architecture and history that I have only read about in other languages, studied in graduate school. Perhaps I should be more in the moment than worrying about my laptop. Just a pen and paper and my camera.

Pen ink to paper. How this slows me down! It frustrates me to no end to think slowly, to make mistakes, to scribble. Yet, most of my good work begins as notes in ink scribbled in margins of things. Why not give homage to the ancient places I will breathe and drink by slowing down and stepping back in time, just for a moment.

Ten days. Not a lot of time. Not a lot of hours. Perhaps the break in technology could give me the recharge I yearn for. Even just thinking about leaving my computer behind gives me anxiety. I called my insurance agent to make sure it is covered if it is stolen while travelling (it is), but seriously? I am more concerned about this object than the violence happening nearby where I am going?

Yes. I need to take a break. More of a break than just logging of for a day or a weekend and perhaps putting a couple thousand miles or more between me and the machine will help break the dependency.

This is complicated by the fact that I work from the virtual world, but I am hopeful that my phone will stand in as enough and I can grade from an Internet cafe once or twice.

Thoughts? What would you do? Any tips for international travel?

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. -Cesare Pavese

When Adventure Calls, Answer. Always.

One lovely Saturday morning, we were going about our chores, when my phone rang. It was Jessica and she invited us on a cave exploring camping under the stars adventure.  I wanted to say no. Housework was already behind and piling up. One look at the kids though, who had also been overwhelmed with the events of July and August, add in some prodding from Chad, and the answer was, "Load the car up and let's go!"

It took 30 minutes to gather camping gear, 30 minutes at the grocery and gas station, and we were on the road! 4 hours later we arrived camp side and met up with Jessica's crew.

There was cave exploring, mud sliding, hiking, rock climbing, creek splashing, signing, laughing, and so very much fun. I got out my cameras and hung back to walk slowly and carefully.

We are grateful to have friends in our life that love adventure and care for us the way that Jessica does. I hope she knows how much she means to us and how much she helped our family when we first met her.

Art Center

2014 Iowa State Fair

Gathering

Sexy Cajun Red Beans and Rice

Recipe: Sexy Cajun Red Beans and Rice


1 cup of wild rice
2 cups of bean mix
6 cups of chicken or veggie broth
1 T of season salt (Swamp Fire) (a seasoned salt like Tony Chacher will work- choose one with garlic and cayenne if you don't have access to our farm mixed swamp fire salt).
1 T of magic soup herbs (or 1/2 t of dried shallots 1/2 t chevril, 1/2 t of thyme, 1/2 t aleppo peppers, bay leaf.)
Soak bean mix for 8 hours.
Drain soak water.
Add rice and broth and spices.

Bring to a boil, then turn down to a simmer and cover. 2 hours or when the broth mostly absorbed is how long it takes.

Keep in crock pot on warm to serve buffet style. It is seriously good party food. Makes 8 or so cups.

A Healthy Ecology

Live the life you are in, not the life you wish you had? This idea popped in my head this week, as I looked in the mirror for the first time at my whole self and realised that I love the body I wish I had and not the one I live in, and maybe I'd have more fun dressing up if I would remember that when buying clothes.

This idea echoed through my week too. I let the kids swim in the pond. It is probably one of the cleanest bodies of water around, but full of algae and leaches and crawfish and turtles and fish......all which point to it being a healthy ecology. Huh. The kids get sick when they go to the "clean" public pool, but not when they swim here at home. I need to get over my weirdness about the algae making them all look like swamp things. It is good water and good fun. Swim in the water we have.......and you know, this summer the water and the pond are gorgeous.

My kids are gorgeous too and smart and funny. This summer is one for the books for sure.

Writing is also going well for me and photography. We have a great friend arriving fair week to stay with us and I am giddy about it! I feel actually calm for the first time a very long time, like, knock on wood, we have our footing now and the ground is solid and there are no more werebeasts in the woods going all awesome crazy nuts- or maybe there are but we are too busy to notice?

Speaking of wood beasts.....I am researching Iowa folklore and finding very few monsters. Lots of ghosts but just two monsters and one of them may as well be Minnesotan. I feel like I must be looking in the wrong places? If you know of a local swamp creature or giant demon bat thing or other historical beast whose lore is rooted in Iowa, speak up!

Other than our orange coloured pygmy rhinos or puddle sized pond dwelling octopuses, of course.

Farm Plants in Wisconsin at the Carlson Farm

Selfies and Gypsy Farm Girl Punk

A couple years back my friend and inspiration Tiffany posted a selfie challenge. I started it. The one post I wrote sat gathering dust in my draft folder taunting me for near two years.

I could not even bear to look at myself in a mirror, let alone publish a picture of myself. Good grief. I gave a family member a whole lotta grief over flooding her wall with glamour shot and drunk selfies near daily. That's one extreme and my zero selfie policy was the other.

I wanted to find a healthy balance. First, I published that draft. Goodness it was well received, shared on social media about 200 times. Not the picture, the message. We are all superheros.

Still, I was in full on mama frumpy fashion and felt like a blurred out version of what might have been instead of a full person who is. How to even begin to address that?

Step one: decide what your style is. I used Polyvore.com to help me figure this out. For casual work days my style is Gypsy Bohemian- long skirts, chunky vintage jewelry, tall boots, and blouses. For farm days- jeans and punk rock t's or a cross over with the gypsy blouses. For dress up? Rockabilly vintage.

gypsy farm girl by danelle-stamps featuring a black skirt

Purple or red for hair no matter what. And earrings. I realised I love earrings. Just putting a pair on makes me feel prettier.

Once I figured that out, then I had to force myself to shop for myself. I started online, easier to do with kids constantly pulling at me. Then thrift shops. Most of my jewellery is vintage or handmade from friends.

Another bigger hurdle? I mean, other than budget? Ha. Buying clothes that fit me, buying clothes for my right now body not the maybe someday body. That means admitting I need size 10 bottoms and large tops. I will never again be a zero or a two or shop the small rack. I am ok with that.

Then, learning how to put things together with things I already have or to remember what things work with what. Polyvore helped with that too.

Here is what the result was Saturday night at the show (I was trapped in the bathroom with Isaac who was melting down from the over stimulation):

My goal now is to take a selfie a day. Sometimes that means I wll take one out in the pasture or with an arm full of kids or while cooking something fun. I am part of the story too. Not just the faceless narrator, leading others to beauty and self acceptance and adventure.

I am part of the story too.

More to come on this topic I am sure. Just you wait and see.

The Damfinos

A few months ago, I noticed a post from a friend about her husband's band needing a drummer. I passed it on to Chad after finding out it was a punk cover band.

They actually knew us from our movie theatre days and despite that......Chad became their new drummer! Ha.

It has meant time away from the family, shifting my grading time schedule, and the fuss of breaking down his drum set and hauling it every single week.....but it is totally, completely, worth it.

Last night was their first show. They are really, really good. Chad did a drum solo no one in the audience expected and got his own round of applause. The kids were so enamoured and supportive. YAY DADDY! It was hot being the wife of the drummer. ;) I got to play with my camera in low lighting too. Next time they have a show, I'll be there. Front row.

Chad and I support each others' interests. There is give and take, but we do our best. Up till recently, Chad has done the majority of the supporting of my crazy whims. This was his turn in the spotlight. It was awesome.

Lucas County Fair, Clover Kids

The Calm Between Adventures

This summer has been unusually cool and the wind has been calm as well. There are very few ticks or mosquitoes, and the humidity is just about perfect.

We have not yet needed our AC turned on, a good thing since it is broken. *Note to self, remember to get a call in about that or bug Chad before winter gets here. **I'll forget anyway. Ha.

Isaac loves it. He loves sitting outside eating apples and cuddling chickens and chasing his sisters and counting clouds....one, two, three, four, five.....

Holly has been taking crayons outside and today I found her masterpiece, in crayon wax, on the front porch floor. It is pretty amazing actually.

Lily, ever the farm girl, has been taking care of her chores and heading out to the woods for explores. They stay out late, until bedtime, negotiating meals (ONLY COMING IN IF SOUP IS FOR DINNER!) Soup. Huh. I can do soup.

Chad and I have been taking walks in the late afternoon and evenings and dreaming pretty big about things. Lots of things. Finding thornless honey locust on our farm is pretty cool. Snacking on mulberries is lovely too. We talked about what time I need to do my job that is with the college and what I need to keep going with my freelance work. I have a list of places to submit work about farm life that I am researching. I have ideas for travel pieces.

The air feels too cool for July though. Winter teasing us. We bought this winter's hay and had it delivered today. Next up, chop and stack firewood. Try for enough for winter. Find a better place to stack and store it.

I have been furiously scribbling in my notebooks, learning formal verse form, then trashing it and wrecking all the rules. That's kind of my signature style, rule breaking. My intentions are to study the form and then dance around the edges, tearing at the border with my heals and tempo. Wild with pulpiness and red lines and life.

When I am done, good and worn out, I sway on the porch swing, sweet tea nearby, one ear out for duckings and another on the humming of children plotting their own way, book of verse in hand, reading poems about house fires in Tennessee, marsh whores in Florida, and urban schoolteachers falling in love.

This is my summer. This is my view. This is the calm between adventures.

Writer's Reflection

This week I received three acceptance letters from publishers for my writing submissions. The first one was an essay I wrote about my experience as a new farmer dealing with pasture predation. I sent this one out to the world because this experience meant a lot to me as a person and I worked on it for months. Normally, tales like this one would end up here on the blog but this experience was so soul changing and devastating and even humiliating that I just could not bring myself to share it.

It was not poetry. At that point my record was two photography acceptances and one essay- zero on the poetry. Yet, poetry is what keeps me coming back to these endeavour, is my true literary love.

Then, one evening, late, my email beeped. An acceptance and commentary of a POEM. The email sender was not a name I recognised, scrolling through quick....there was the name of the journal!! I was so excited. This one, (I'm being a stinker and not telling until it is published and released) is a journal that I have long read and admired. For those of you who have read my drafts, the poem is Poppy's Daughters.

The next morning a second one came in. My poem about Daphne in our own Iowa woods,  Daughter of the Osmanthus River, was accepted.

Those of you who have followed my struggles here know that my 15 year hiatus has left me doubting my own worth and skills, left me wondering and regretting. The thing is? Both poems and the essays are all new work- not the old work from the draft drawer of doom! New words, new lyrical twists, new stories. The work from long ago keeps coming back to me rejected. This sits with me like pregnancy heartburn, painful but productive. Realising this was really good for me too: again, I remind myself that I need the decade of silence to live life, to really birth my own new voice. The child that wrote poetry with only blue pens and gave up on performance when Slam took over the stage is not the poet I am now. I have even written a slam piece and planned a performance. Totally and completely out of my comfort zone.

Tally from 2014 thus far:

Portland Review: Photography
Flyway Journal: Photography
Yet to be announced: Essay fall of 2014
Yet to be announced: Poem August 2014
Yet to be announced: Poem  March 2015

AND.....November 2014 I will be reading at the Art on the Prairie even in Perry, Iowa.

Not a bad tally, actually. Tonight I am regrouping and looking at the work that just came back to me to figure out what goes where now. I am struggling to match journal to poems, I have exhausted almost all of the journals I read on my own and that is what I know to go to. 

This is where knowing and talking to other poets would really come in handy.

Where do you find poems that you love? What journals do you read?

Salad Bar

The pasture is in bloom right now. Purple, yellow, white, and a million shades of green and gold. Life buzzes and jumps and dances in the thick growth. It is fragrant and alive. I love seeing this landscape when we walk out here, it lines the gravel road all the way to the paved highway too. This is food. This food is feeding more food. It is lush and everywhere. It is also medicine. How glorious that this biology and ecology is thick and over growing all around us.

It baffles me that there is an industry that is solely focused on eliminating and poisoning these plants because technically they are all "weeds".  This makes no sense to me at all. People mow and poison this animal salad bar to clear the way to grow corn to then feed those same animals that would be healthier if they ate this natural prairie food- and we would be healthier eating the animal that feasted on this green goodness too. Or they clear it away just to have lawn. Lawn.

That is why our pastures look like this.  Messy and colourful and wonderful. Good for the bees, for the birds, for all of us. Our small patch on the quilt that is Iowa is going to be the crazy one. That's who we are, outliers, always.

I would not have it any other way.

Science Center Day!

My kids love the Science Centre. They could and have spent entire days there, playing and exploring. Just the idea of maybe going gets them on their best chore getting done behaviour. They ask for a chance to go when offered a treat. LOVE.

So, stuck in town one day this week, we ended up there. It was a blast. Actually a blast since Isaac discovered the rocket air launch and his rocket could really fly! We did that for about 45 minutes- build, launch, run, find, run back, launch, run, find, run back, over and over. He was really proud of his IZ rocket too.

This was our first time with Isaac in the star theatre too. Holly used to freak out as a baby, grew out of it just in time for Isaac to freak out as a baby. The last time we went Holly fell and got nursemaid's elbow. Not a great track record. This time though? They all three ran in and flopped to the floor, oooohing and aaaaaahing over the spinning star images, the solar flares, and the whirling outer planets. It was lovely.

That was our day, pretty much. Lovely.

Iced Coffee and Sibling Rilvalry

Iced coffee, maple syrup, real whole milk. This is how I spend my summer afternoons: writing, playing, cleaning, and creating. Taking care of farm chores, taking care of farm business, and making our way through the work.

Holly has informed me that chores go faster if we sing. So we sing.

Lily has informed me that such singing is painfully annoying, so of course Holly sings LOUDER.

Issac thinks the ensuing brawl is hilarious and he jumps onto the pile of fighting girls.

And rinse, repeat.

The other things we have found this summer:  Holly is suddenly into art. She has always hated it before, but now she sits at the dining room table every time the TV is on and draws, works clay, or builds with legos. She also does not see a problem with mixing medias. This morning she had modelling clay holding together magnets, legos, and plastic toys. It was so cool. Lily broke down though, mixing medias is "ruining everything". We had a good long talk about encouraging others, thinking outside the rules, and why she was feeling so threatened by Holly's rather sudden artistic creativity.

I get it. I really do. Lily has her identity wrapped up in being the artist and Holly is the dancer. What if Holly is good at art too? We'll be working though some of these feelings for a while I predict.

County fair is coming up. We will be working on finishing up Lily's project this week.

And that's about all for today!

Silly Kids