Sample Sunday

Lily has leveled up. She is my new partner at booth for markets.

Today she took over grill duties. She grilled the links, checked for doneness,  cut them up (with scissors), toothpicked, and then walked around talking to folks while offering samples. That was all we discussed her doing, it was her idea.

I step away for a moment and come back to her taking money, making change, and packaging product. We have never once done formal math lessons with her, she made correct change. We had friends at neighbouring booths keeping on eye on her, so I wasn't worried, but I did not expect her to take on this part of running the booth!

Proud mama, but more important that how I feel about it.....proud of herself Lily.

 

She prefers to have her own product though. She was very clear about this on our drive home. I love doing this with her, the one on one time we get. I was sad when she fell asleep with an hour left to drive home, because she is a very lovely companion and storyteller. 

This is my Lily. Bright and effervescent, strong willed and confident. This child made me a mother and makes me earn that title every day, gladly.

I shared a story with guests to our farm yesterday that I realised I never shared here, at least not that I could find in the archive search. 2 summers ago Lily went to and was kicked out of her first 4H day camp. I was very proud of her that day.

Wait? What?

That's right.  I was proud of her.

Enthusiastic belligerence is what they informed me when I picked her up.

She was rude to the teacher, that was wrong. But Mama, she was rude to all of us telling us wrong things! Wrong things about food!
That's my girl. She stood her ground when the teacher told them to choose fat free options. Human bodies NEED fat to use vitamins. Also the term chemical shitstorm may have been used. She refused to eat the veggies and fruits from China, because that country cannot be counted on for safe gardening and not spray poison. She was/is right.

Then when the teacher told them they should eat less meat, only 3 times a week, Lily asked, You mean 3 times a day, right? Because 3 out of 21 meals? Who is this lady? The camp tried to serve a vegetarian lunch. Guess how that went? Yeah. Lily refused to eat and warned them she gets cranky without protein in a meal. Yes. She did.

Lily never backed down. Lily stands her ground. That will serve her well in life if she can polish that skill, so far she is really blooming and growing, understanding better how to politely refuse and politely educate and be a light in the world sharing what we know and live.

Shiny. My shiny Lily. She was 6 at the time.

*She did later apologise for being rude to the teacher, but never once apologised for the content of her words. I am so proud of her. How hard it is for a child to stand up to adults, in front of peers that she really wants to like and accept her, to not back down? That is a life skill. Think about it. This child, if we nurture instead of oppress, will never have the experience of regretting not saying something, of not standing up for herself. How often I sit in my car in tears and then eureka think of the perfect thing to have said, after the moment is lost. This leader, this sassy wonderful child, will not suffer like that if we are careful to keep this spark alive in her.

What do you think? Have you ever had to stand up for something you knew to be factually correct in the face of authority telling you and others something else? Under the pressure of peers?

Berries and Friends

Today was full of wonderful. I spent almost the whole day unplugged and deep in the wooded spots on my farm that have no cell signal.

Surrounded by friends, good food, laughing babies....pretty darn near a perfect day. Thank you and good night!

Berries.

Clearly, a good time was had by all. Seriously though, I made chili and bacon wrapped stuffed figs and 3 jugs of iced tea. Then people started showing up and I walked 5 miles in total today, some of it through really tall underbrush and native grasses. My feet HURT.

The day was full of good conversation and laughter and baby smiles. Nothing better in my world. Oh, and people brought me gifts! I got a new Muscovy hen named Sassy, a bag of almonds, galanga for my Thai cooking, blueberries, a pineapple cake (which I sort of shared, but not really), and Swiss chard. Lots of goodies, I know I am forgetting some! Thank you, thank you all.

Night Sounds

One of the things that I find most different about the farm from the city house is the noise at night. I am sure if I had thought about it, I would have expected it. Maybe.

In the city I had to have the windows shut and white noise going to be able to sleep. Even that caused me anxiety, could I hear if something outside was happening that I needed to call 911 for? Or could I hear if there was a break in downstairs? But if I didn't have white noise then I could hear the constant cars and street traffic, the noises of people living very lively lives at night, animals (wild and domestic), crickets, birds, dogs barking, sirens, the train, and the buzz of street lights. Fireworks, nearly year round. In the summer add what we call Mexican Polka that plays for about 72 hours straight 3 days of each week. The neighbors' television programs, volume turned up so loud, probably to drown out the outside noises. Window fans. Car stereo systems that heavily favour music with loud bass. The screeching whistle of bad breaks and boom pop rumble of failing mufflers. Good grief. Gun shots, more often than is comfortable to hear gunshots and screaming and not always followed by sirens, which is a creepy lay awake kind of moment. Yay insomnia.

The countryside is just as noisy. Different noises, but just as noisy.

Crickets, cicada, bull frogs, tree frogs, click beetles, owls, oppossums, fox barks, dog barks, raccoons, cats, and the worst....coyotes. Especially when they are near and there are lots of them running.

I can still hear the trains.

Cars still drive by, though it is a LOT less often. There are often, seasonally gunshots, though not at night. The week of 4th of July there are fireworks, but not after midnight.

Mooing. There is a lot of mooing. Especially if the bull is in the pasture. (Blushes at the thought of when I first realized why there was so much mooing......)

Did I mention bull frogs? Creaking of a not shut tight chicken house door creak banging as it swings in a dark and storm heavy breeze, a branch whapping the side of the house in the wind, breaking branches dislodging as a night critter jumps on one in a tree run and knocks a heavy one loose to break those below it as it falls.

The wind and storms are louder here. I'm not sure why.

I guess maybe I had hoped for more silence at night. The constant ringing of my ears has stopped. I thought it was a forever thing, but it stopped a week after we moved here. There are moments of complete silence though if you can catch them.....

After a heavy snow, when the night sky is clear and swept and splattered with stars, the prairies covered in a deep blanket of white. Everything, even nature, for a moment, holds its breath. Silence, like a prayer, embraces everything. Just a moment though and like magic broken, a dog barks or a sheep baas, or a car turns around the bend and makes its way down the gravel road crunching snow under rolling tires.

It is in these moments of silence that I am closest to God in prayer. More so than I ever have been in any chapel or service. Completely in awe at the utter vastness of creation and the powerful beauty of the universe.

"Amen," I break the silence with my own breathe of thankfulness and head back inside to wrangle baby giggles and read bedtime stories. These caught and released moments have begun to teach me to find the same peace in the noise too. The crickets and bull frogs become a choir for my prayers, a reminder that the music of God is not always played on organs or sung by children. The breathing rhythms of my own sleeping babies become the chords of my own music of praise, a daily meditation of thankfulness.

Grilled Farmhand Sticks

Again with the easy week night meals! This is a favourite here, very versatile.  We often are in the middle of important farm work at dinner time, losing daylight hours. This is a side affect of working day jobs and coming home to the livestock chores of 4 different kinds of animals. Chad needs something that he can eat quickly, on the go, and is nutritionally dense.

I start with what veggies I have on hand. Load the kabobs with them. Then I cube up the meat to the size of the veggies. I brush with oil, usually butter but coconut oil and lard work well and olive oil is a last resort (temps too high for olive oil and it makes it taste off).

Once oil is brushed on I generously sprinkle with seasoning of choice. Swamp Fire works well. I also like Pensey's Bicentennial and Bavarian. Your favourite seasoned salt will work, but watch the salt quantity.

Grill until the meat is as done as you like, turning a few times while it grills.

Recipe that is shown above:

Grilled Farmhand Sticks

All of these cut into 1 inch cubes more or less:
Zucchini
Sweet pepper
Baby bella mushrooms
Onion slice
Beef stew meat
Butter
Seasoning and salt

I make variations, use different seasonings, use lamb, deer meat, pork, beef.....whatever vegetable is in season. That is why they have yet to get sick of it. You can even use the butter and seasoning that drips and pools into a roux and make a cream sauce for pasta/rice/couscous/quinoa, then serve the veggie and meat on top.

Easy. Prep time is about 5-10 minutes (how fast you are at chopping things into cubes and threading on the sticks) and grill time is about 10 minutes too, but mostly hands off.

Clean up is easier. If you just have the serving platter and everyone eats off sticks there is no need for dishes. Clean up gets longer if you make the pasta version. That's why I don't usually make that- but if I have the meat thawed and the grill going and unexpected guests pop in, the pasta is a great meal expander. I love feeding our farm guests!

Bottle Calf!

Sorry for missing a day, I've been writing furiously on a post about immunity management for our 22q series, but I keep remembering things to add to it.

In the mean time, twice a day I have to wash bottles and make formula......for a red angus baby heifer calf. She's Lily's bottle calf, to show for Clover Kids at the county fair. We'll raise her up and keep her for breeding or trade her back to the ranch for a beef steer. We'll see. Susan Maribelle Test Red Stamps is growing on us. She's a sweetie.

You know aside from the dreaded cow spit kisses and Lily getting it into her head that Susan can suck her eyeballs out. Lily gets up early and forgoes some evening activities to manage the electric fence, make sure she has water, and feed her the bottles twice a day. It is a big responsibility, but she wants to do it.

When you give a kid a responsibility they ask for and set them up for success, then they often surprise us with how capable they are.

We all have our part in this project. Lily feeds the bottle, I do the dishes and mix the milk, Holly keeps Lily company and is emergency watch (if the cow hurts Lily or Lily needs me ASAP, Holly is the runner).

Holiday Road, Summer Vacation

I love road trips. LOVE THEM. I love them with kids, I love them with a fox, I love them on top of a box, with a fork, with green eggs and ham.

I love coming home more.

We live a life that most people yearn for as a vacation. Instead of setting up my life to take breaks to do something I love, I work the things I love into my daily life. Sometimes that means waking up and deciding to hi the road for a day and stop at the places as they appear on the map. Delivering farm products has made this possible on a regular basis, opportunities to explore communities we would not have guessed would hold treasures of history and relationship.

This is my life. I love it.

Recently a family member asked if we didn't feel we were missing out by not taking family vacations to destination resorts. We can't leave the farm unattended, so usually I travel with the kids. Chad hates travel anyway so it all works out.

I've driven 813 miles to Yellowstone and camped with a 2 year old on my own. Why not?

Ive taken the kids to Galveston, TX twice, though once was for a funeral. Chicago was a delivery trip and was fun too.

My kids have a life that is like summer vacation never ends. I can only hope they will cherish their childhood adventures as much as I am loving making them.

Disney world seems to me like a lot of work. It does not appeal to me, they don't ask for it, so I figure they will go when the time comes.

I hope to take an RV to California when they are older and explore the coast....or maybe a train.

I plan to travel to Iceland in 2017. Alone. Or maybe with one kid. Depends.

Mostly, though, as I lay in the grass soaking in the sunshine, I realize that moments like this, even though the dishes need done and clothes are piling up, moments like this are the vacation that most people dream of. This is my life. What a blessing to be in this moment.

I love my house and the farm has several quiet spots for meditation and reflection.

The things about my house I don't love, I am changing up.

Life is an adventure. I don't see our little road trips as escapes from the daily grind, I see them as part of our life adventure. I've redesigned our lives and the definition of vacation does not apply. We have intentionally and mindfully done so.

When we were first engaged the minister that was doing our pre-wedding counseling asked us to write down our dream for retirement. Individually we both wrote, almost as a joke at the time, that we wanted to retire to an apple farm in Virginia. We talked about this through our first married years. Then, suddenly, we asked ourselves, why wait for retirement to build the life we dream of?

Ask yourself that question, what are you waiting for?

Still, I am also planning a weekend retreat for just me. I have writing to do that isn't getting done. That is more like a work retreat and I will return to the farm having done hard work and will be ready to play.  I guess I have reversed in our lives the vacation/work dichotomy.

It is an awesome way to live. 

June Flew By, A Visual Record of our Farm School

The number one request I get from readers is to explain, describe, somehow convey how we do school. We unschool. How can that possibly work?

It is all about relationship. Relationship and trust and respect are all at the core of how we learn and live. Everything after that comes freely. So we don't have school days. We don't set up hour blocks. We don't spend oodles of dollars on fancy packages of worksheets and books and we don't spend oodles of time talking about what learning systems and what packages work better than others. We can spend that time on the go.

We just do. We just go.

Just is such a tricky word, because things that are just something are never really that simple. I'm not just a mom and we don't just play.

My kids do chores with me, they explore their interests, they build things, they take apart things, they teach each other things, they observe, they paint, they play, they sing, they go! go! go!......

And randomly, always in context, they give us a window into all the things they are learning. Lily often gives tours of the farm and points out the various kinds of weeds and plants and their practical applications. We somehow got on the topic of linear mapping and Euclidean geometry and for days Lily pondered and puzzled out loud how 3 points could not form a triangle....that was incredibly amusing, until it frustrated her. Holly can put together ingredient combinations that are fantastic. She is five and taught herself how to play a trumpet and is now exploring scales. Isaac figured out the iTouch and has mastered five levels in Reading Raven (a K-2) reading program (he's 2 and nonverbal). These things just come along. We don't do table work. We don't drill facts. We walk, observe, cook, work create, and discuss together and in the world.

I could go on, but I think that a visual record will be the best introduction to our methods. Here is June:

5 Minute Easy Kid Lunch

This is the base of my easy kid lunch.

1 quart of meat broth. This one is chicken.
Add whatever scraps of unused frozen veggies are in the fridge. I had 1/4 a bag of broccoli, 1/4 bag of peas, and some carrots. Boil it up.
Add seasoning and salt.
Add whatever noodles are in the pantry. I like rice noodles.

If I add rice noodles, I'll call this ponyo noodles and add hard boiled eggs and ham slices.

If I add macaroni, I also melt some cheese into it

There are endless possibilities to use up odds and ends in the fridge and freezer. I have the kids help me pick out combinations and figure out what they think will taste good together. They chop, grate, and stir.

It still just takes 5-10 minutes from GO to table.

Sure it would be better to just make pizza bites or chicken goo nuggets, but yuck. Oh, I still sometimes whip out the pizza bites, don't get me wrong, but this is just so much better and encourages so many skills in the process. Good stuff, that.

And seriously, 5-10 minutes. Uses up scraps and leftovers. Nutritious. WIN!

Farm Update July 4, 2013

 

 

......and Isaac walked by himself and stood up without holding anything by himself.

This weekend, for those of you who cannot view the pictures:
Chad chopped down a dead ironwood tree. It fell on the chicken run. That was not intended. Then his chainsaw broke.

We had 300 bales of hay mowed and baled. Then it was a race to get it under cover before the storm hit. We failed. The above picture is our successful attempt to dry out the bales. Then we had to scramble to get those in before the next round of storms. Good gravy that was hard. You know, for Chad. It was actually pretty awesome to watch if you are standing in the shade with iced sweet tea. Just sayin'.

Then, THEN, we brought home a bottle calf! Susan is her name. She's a 1 month old red angus heifer. She is Lily's job.

Oh wait, there's more. Jessica and I cleaned out the garage. 

I got some peahens and named them Beyonce and Anastasia. Yes I did.

I made cream cheese stuffed peppers wrapped in cottage bacon and broiled. Twice.

I roasted a chicken.

Lily and I cleaned out the under cabinets in the kitchen and did all the dishes twice.

And Isaac walked and walked. We were all sitting around listing off all the hard work we each did, Chad, Mama, Lily, and Isaac......and Holly reminded us that she did not. She just played. Ha.

She actually said Ha!

Not actually true though. She played with Isaac, cleaned off the table, and helped with laundry. Silly wonderful girl.

Grandma and Grandpa got here yesterday and have been working hard too. Seriously awesome holiday so far.

So that is the update past shearing. We still have more to do. Tomorrow will be an epic laundry day. Yes, I know epic is an overused word, but y'all have not seen my laundry crisis. Seriously. Ha!

Happy 4th of July!

Recipe:
Peppers, split and cleaned out
Cream Cheese
Bacon (Cottage)

Stuff peppers with cream cheese.
Wrap with bacon.
Secure with toothpick
Broil until bacon is crispy

Surprise!

We've been busy this week, bringing in hay before it rains, re organizing the kitchen cabinets, and other stuff I will post about later. Farm work is hard.

Childhood is harder. Isaac is 2 and a half and has never had a day in therapy. He's dleayed in many gross and fine motor skills. Other families and children with similar delays are in daily or weekly Occupational, physical, and speech therapies. We've opted out for now.

Why? He makes progress on his own, on his own time. Many folks we talked to said their children blossomed when they took breaks or even quit therapy. That maybe therapies did less for the child than people thought, and more for the parents state of mind, the feeling like you have to be doing something.

We do something every day. It is called living. We play hard, we work hard, and we are very active and connected. I bought text books on the therapies and have no problem understanding them. I realize that this is not the case for many folks. I am not judging you or your choices. I could also see and justify to our specialists the many reasons we should keep doing what we are doing. We live rural. We'd have to drive 65 miles to the place to get private therapy. That much more time in the car could instead be spent playing outside, actually using the muscles we are trying to work. (I know there are government services that will come to our house, but the whole idea of that makes me upset and freaked out. I read too much sci-fi......, plus we are rural (limited services) and if we NEEDED that, there are better experts 65 miles away. I am willing to drive if it is necessary. In addition, we homeschool and if we get "in the system" they have to give us permission to homeschool. Not kidding.)

I created our own "therapy" gym in the living room. I did floor exercises with him. He gets to ride on a horse semi- regularly. Park day. Sunshine. Massage. Good nutrition.

Still, I could see over and over the pre-walking signs and skills. 2 months ago Isaac walked across the room to grandpa, turned around and then did it again!

Then he refused for the next month to stand or walk, even holding someone's hand. Slowing we got him to walk holding two hands, then last week he started doing it holding just one. He also insisted on walking like this all over the house. I was excited, but I also knew that we could be at this phase for a while, given his pattern of learning.

I was starting to doubt my plan. I was starting to think I have failed him. That maybe we should have him in orthotics and daily work at the child services facility 60 miles away. That all my theories about education and happiness and stress free play learning were bunk?

Then yesterday, he just walks into the room and yells, "MAMA!!" and claps his hands!

He spent all day walking the circle of our floor plan, walking back and forth outside on the flat bed trailer, and walking around the kitchen!

Of course he spent most of the night crying and refuses to even stand this morning. I am not sad. This is progress! This is fantastic progress. What we are doing is working. It is working not just for Isaac but for all of us. Just like with the hearing and ear surgery crisis, waiting, and working with longer acting natural options does work.

Happy works.

Easy and Cheap Week Night Dinner

Polenta cakes. I am sure I could have made actual cakes that were fancy and formed. Whatever. Mush up log polenta with a fork and mash in butter and shredded asiago cheese. Add a lot of salt. Polenta erases salt, so if you want kick, 1/2 t. of seasoned salt EACH. 350 in the oven for 20 minutes. Take out and let cool slightly.

 

 Start with a log of frozen pork sausage. Why frozen? I never think of this in time to thaw it. I have mastered the art of quick thaw while cooking it up. I use butter and cover the skillet with the lid, open it up and push off the cooked meat from the frozen stir it up and repeat until all thawed and all is cooking.

 Then I add bell pepper and onions. This part is totally optional and where you can play with seasonal vegetables. Add celery, carrots, even mushrooms. I like peppers and onions.

In season you may have your own canned up crushed tomatoes. I'm out. I've been out for 2 years. Last summer I didn't can anything at all. Not one single jar of anything. Anyway, I order organic online because it is delivered to my farmhouse door and I don't have to give the local grocer the stink eye when I am faced with no options and overpriced organic stuff shoved in a corner of the newly remodeled store. Grrr. I like Muir Glen. The flavour is bright and sassy. I like sassy. Add the can (the big can) to the browned sausage and veggies. Since there is more meat than tomato we call this ragu.

 

At this point I was looking at my little polenta cakes and small pan of sauce. 5 hungry people? I need something else too. I found a bunch of asperagus in the fridge. Lemon, salt, and olive oil. 10 minutes to table? Stick it in the broiler.  While I set the table and wrangled small children into washing their hands before helping me bring forks out to the plate, it was sizzling away.

And ta da! Fancy dining servings on tea saucers! Ha! 

 

Just kidding. Check this out. Fancy schmancy healthy dinner on the table in 30 minutes from frozen. I rock. Kid approved. Really really good. All three food catagories met (meat, green veg, starch) plus some extra. Gluten free (for fun, not because of diet).

 

Ingredients for 5 BIG servings:
Log polenta 4$
1 lb Italian sausage (pastured pork is good) $5 retail but $3.50 if you bought bulk from our farm
1 bell pepper $0.50
1 onion $0.50
1 can of organic crushed tomato $2.75
1 bundle of asperagus $3
6 T Irish butter $1

$16.75 for the meal for 5 people, 30 minutes
Way cheaper than eating out. 

Making Time for Each Child

In a special needs family the child with extra medical needs gets a lot of the attention. It is already a difficult task to balance each child's needs and individual relationships but when a child that demands extra time and attention because of real medical needs the entire balance is thrown up into the air.

We have 3 children. They each have needs, even if they are not medical. It is all about relationship.

Now that we have lived our way through a transition, we can redirect and make sure each child gets their needs met. Homeschooling really helps with this dynamic. Special moments can be caught on the wind and held for a moment, sometimes it is while washing dishes or at bedtime, or while one is running full speed on the way to deliver swiped Popsicles to her siblings.

I love you. I love watching you play.

I love watching my children fall in love with the art of their choice. For Lily it is clay work. So much clay work. We are taking mother daughter classes together at a local art studio. I am terrible at pots but I a fiercely good at loving Lily. Lily told me that she dreams of having her own studio and decided not to rent one in the building. No, she wants the whole building and she'll rent to others. Ah, my little dreamer.

For Holly it is ballet. The first time she walked into the studio, her foot touched the hard wood floors, she lit up like I have never seen before. That enthusiasm has never once waned. She LOVES ballet. Everyday. Always. Loves.

At her recital she was a ham. At the end of her class's dance she walked out to the front of the stage for a special, only Holly, with flourish bow. Because of course, she was the star ballerina in her mind. That is what she saw the lead ballerina do at the Nutcracker.

I read to her and cuddle her every chance I get.

Isaac is still letting us know what he loves. Apples. Climbing. Playing his piano. Cuddling mama.

I know these things will change and evolve. I will be here for all of it. Right here. Loving every moment, every smile, the stolen glances, the goofiness and joy. I will tell them how much joy they bring me just being in my life. I will nourish their relationships with us and with each other.

I have witnessed such tenderness that my heart has burst into tears. These people have made my life better by just being in it. Why should I hold back telling them that every single day that I am able to?

It gets complicated. Complicated to work, take care of a home, take care of their physical needs and on top of that nurture them and their passions. I prioritize. Housework, beyond basics, come last. I actually pay for someone to help me get to that. My work is online and I make the schedule around the kids and their appointments. Prioritize.

On top of all of that I make time for them. Daddy daughter night, Mama takes one kid to tea, firefly walks with flashlights with just one kid. Ballet camp and class allows me to connect with the child not in class. We talk. They take turns helping me with dishes and I tell them our heritage stories so they know the magic that they have been born out of.  I make time.

I value the outputs of their passions too. Holly's dance pictures are framed. Lily's ceramics get used. All three children have their art framed and hung up in public view. 

I value the things they make and that matters. Some houses you walk into and you know they have children but there is no evidence of children. In our home, there is mess and chaos and you KNOW we have children the minute you pull up in our drive. Our house is filled with love and joy and the joyful noise that comes with a happy, vibrant childhood. Part of that is also that we have a full range of musical instruments, both real and toys, accessible to the children.

We live a different life. I understand that. Different does not mean bad though, it means magical. When they are honoured as individuals and humans in the world, it becomes less of a challenge to make time for them or for ourselves. We are always true to what we are. They see that.

Last month Lily had a friend over and we asked her if she planned on staying up all night and complaining about her parents. She looked at us confused. Later she asked about what I had said to her. Do kids really do that? I brought them a snack and heard her telling her friend about all the amazing adventures we have and then saw me and instead of clamming up, she asked me to join their conversation.

I know it won't always be like this. Maybe? I hope that nothing ever dulls the shine of joy and curiosity from their eyes. That is my priority: to feed their faith, their curiosity, their love for each other. When that is the goal and we put all we have into that, then time is made. Time is cherished. Time slips by way too fast. I also try and make time together special so they see me honour each of them, so it is not a competition.

I try and bring the children, all the children, to at least some of Isaac's appointments. We don't hide his needs from them. Sometimes it can be scary. The reason is that if something happens to us, the parents, even in their adulthood, they will still have each other. I want them to have the kind of relationship that this is a natural part of their lives, that they would welcome it. We don't know if Isaac will be able to be independent. Right now it looks like he will. Anything can happen to any of them between now and the unforeseen future. If we make time for them, will they make time for each other later?

It is all about relationship.