February Afternoon and Woodstove Chores/Set Up

We have several places we store firewood. The stack for immediate use is by the back door under a roof. It works out pretty well, even when it snows or rains sideways. We also store the dog and cat food in this area.

One of the chores the girls do is bring the wood in and stack it in the box near the stove. The suit up and work together. Working together gets it done faster and makes it more fun, according to them.

One of our concerns with Zap's mobility is the wood stove burning him. It was never really a problem with Holly and I can say for sure why. Our pediatrician was worried too. So, I found this metal hinged baby gate on a swap for $20. It fits and the tile keeps it in line. We secure it with a bungee that doubles as a mitten/sock drying line. The door from the spare room opens into the space and I have a butcher block inside the space too so I can cook and stir and chop without lots of trips to the kitchen.

Once they are suited up and warm from choring, the girls take off running outside. They tend to play for an hour, hour and a half before coming back inside.

They build. They run. They play. Today the snow was slushy and sticky.

This is an emerging snowman. They said he's not melting, he's growing up from the ground!

Love.

Iowa City Children's Museum

Winter thaw, wordless Wednesday

Defining Moments

Look closely at any invention and you'll find some form of community behind it. Invention happens when we're interactive, self-expressive, alert, and willing to enter into change.- John H. Lienhard

When I was 33, I became a mother of a special needs child. The moment he was born I fiercely loved him. He was my third, the only boy with two sisters, a house full of noisy joy to welcome him. He was quiet and sleepy and sweet. Isaac has 22q11 deletion syndrome. He does not have some of the major problems associated with 22q, like heart and palate defects, but he is little and has hypotonic muscles. He looks and acts physically about half his age. Cognitively he's just fine, as far as we can tell from his use of sign language and communication at 21 months.

Months before he was born, as if God was preparing us for this path, our community began to form. I was suffering through a rotten social situation/ power struggle and while I was floundering, several women stepped up and caught me. My oldest daughter was not dealing well with the stress of my pregnancy, our move across the state, and our financial situation. She was lashing out in public and it wasn't pretty. I know now that it was normal, a normal healthy reaction to a stressful time. Like a hug and a warm cup of coffee, these friends surrounded us and loved us for who we are. It all started with an email to someone I had met and talked to a few times, but I knew she had more knowledge than I had dealing with specific behavior challenges in children. I reached out and every day I count that blessing. Instead of being angry at the world alone, I moved forward and took to my books, asked questions, and most of all stayed true to who I wanted to be as a mother.

I never had a chance to feel alone. When I got Isaac's diagnosis, they were already there, with willing shoulders for me to cry on, to talk to, and to vent my rage at the difficulties of medical beaurocracy. We are also followers of natural health and parenting, but that community just doesn't get what it is like to walk on the edge of medically fragile and natural health. The special needs community can have something like Stolkholm Syndrome when it comes to their medical providers, those folks can do no wrong ever.. We occupied a middle ground, one that was pretty empty and foggy. Then one day I got an email from a lady I had never met in real life.

"Let's start a group," she said. That is how Natural Parenting for Children With Special Needs was born. She gathered up everyone in limbo like us and the group flourished and grew. We connected, shared stories. It is more than that though, through this group, I have healed.

I cannot emphasize how important that community is to a family with a special needs child. Even so, we felt people distancing themselves from us. Awkward silences when we shared our news about his progress, or our difficulties with managing his care, became the normal in social situations. People would guess his age and be off by a year or so and not know how to respond.

Now I know how to respond when someone give him a withering or confused or disgusted look. I wrap him up in love, I show him how fiercely I love him. I beam with pride so the looks of strangers can not darken him with shame.

I am a better mother to my girls because of it too.

Winter Bees

Open letter to my friends turning 30.....

30 is wonderful, but not as wonderful as 31. 32 is even better. Look at yourself in the mirror, really look. Now is your time.

It isn't too late to realize your dreams, in fact it is never too late right up until you die. Each step you take can be one closer to your dream or one away. That's your choice.

Wear the funky heels. Dye your hair purple. Sing out loud with the windows open. Dance when you feel like moving to the beat. Even if it is the toilet paper aisle at the local grocery store and your ring tone is awesome.

Love. Love yourself. Love the children in your life. Love your partner. Love your neighbor. Even the annoying ones. Do it.

If you hate running, don't.

If you hate "working out", don't.

Eat the cake.

Give up diet soda. It doesn't help and it tastes like crap. Eat the cake instead.

Cry sometimes, but also forgive. But don't ever cry on the phone with strangers. It will never help.

Stop the car sometimes to look at things. Shooting stars, sunsets, children laughing. Sometimes you have to stop and look them in the eye, let them know, let the universe know, "I am listening. You are beautiful." Breathe that beauty in and it becomes you, mixes with who you are, and is released back into the beautiful world around you.

You are not old. You are ancient. Gilded. Embrace it and release the folly that is a bad thing to grow old,  release the fear of growing. Grow.

That is all.

Too Busy

You would think that with as busy as we are, there might be post after post of all the things we've been doing. We have reached maximum capacity overload though and first to go was time to write.

Otherwise known as officially too busy.

Here's some cute pictures to go with an apology and a promise of an update.

Someone asked me to post this week's meal plan

Refer to this post for more detail.

Here, by request, is our menu plan for this week.

Sunday: Roast chicken, from our farm. 6lb bird. I used an upright cast iron roaster (it has a stand in the middle to mount the bird on) and surrounded the bird with mushrooms, carrots, onions, and potatoes, seasoned with Swamp Fire, and stuffed with butter (instead of olive oil).

This chicken will be used for dinner tonight, leftovers shredded (2.5.lbs), and the carcass made into broth. 4 meals. This chicken was $24, but that equates into $6 per meal in meat. About $1.25 per person for meat.

Side dish with the chicken tonight is jasmine rice with the veggies mixed in and a cream sauce. The result is like the rice in "chicken and rice" casserole. Heavily buttered.  Some of the vegetables could be set aside to make a soup, but I am not doing that.

Monday: Lamb chops (6$). Sweet potatoes on the side. Leftover rice is there is any, peas if there isn't.

Tuesday: I take salad (with chicken $1.25 see above) for lunch or dinner, kids eat pizza with dad. I work a 12 hour day.

Wednesday: Steak (3$ that's right, from our farm too) broiled. Roasted turnips. Asperagus.

Thursday: Ham ($3.50) and beans with corn bread. I use black eyed peas, carrots, onions, and braising greens. Lily will make the cornbread from a mix into muffins. Uses 1 quart of chicken stock.

Friday: Curried chicken (using the leftovers) over jasmine rice. Variety of vegetables cooked in. Veggie egg rolls on the side.

Saturday: Beer batter fish (5$ on sale from Hy-vee) and chips. Salad on the side.

I will also make a batch of chili (beef $3) at some point for the freezer.

Lunches:
Cheese noodles
Ponyo Miso (with chicken, broth, veggies, and rice noodles).
Peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches
Pancakes
Grilled cheese and tomato soup

Breakfast:
Farm eggs and sausage x2
Fruit and cheese plate, maybe with venison summer sausage
Oatmeal
Muffins (that Lily makes)

Snacks: yogurt, fruit, venison sausage, chips and salsa, popcorn.

We will also make rolls and pizza dough for next week. Some chicken gets carried over by freezing it.

$45 in meat for the week. $20 in veggies. 20$ in dairy. $20 in bread and noodles and rice.
Time? 15 minutes prep for each meal. 20 minutes if the kids help.
105$ total but most of it is paid in bulk once a year. So really, just $50 at the grocer for food.

All real, most local, most from our farm.
No desserts. We only do desserts on holidays or special treats. I know, I'm a mean mean mommy.

That's the plan. I don't beat myself up if we veer off it or sub in other stuff. 

Rider in the Wind

Lily loves horses. She loves horses almost as much as the colour purple. I love how she comes out of lessons sore and utterly happy. I love how she asks to share the last part of her hour giving her sister and brother a turn. She is a wonderful big sister to them, always. Little gestures of generosity remind me of this. She is usually tired and sore, but when Holly is done with her turn they commiserate.  Isaac is in awe of the horse too. He gets quiet and watchful and then touches the horse with what looks like reverence.

Jessica really understands my kids too. She works Lily hard, but also respects her as a person. It took a long time to find a teacher that was just right, that met this relationship criteria.

I love Thursday mornings.

Ballet Dancers

Last year Holly hated art class. She hated it so much she would try and make herself throw up in the car to avoid going in to class. So I stopped asking her to go in. She relaxed a lot when I finally told her art class was done. I finally got out of her why she hated it! It was because the teacher asked her to use colours other than yellow. I should have known as much. That girl LOVES yellow. 

Lily wanted to do art. Lily loves art. The reality though is that I can't drive them to both. We can't afford it. So I asked Lily if she would try ballet. She likes it enough. I did tell her that next year she could go back to art. Maybe we can arrange that as soon as January. We'll see. Lily also takes riding.

Still, Holly practices 3 hours a day. She lives in her tutus and dance dresses, sleeps in them too. She is all things ballet. She bounces out of the car for classes. I have never seen her so excited over something, except maybe the colour yellow. ;) I love seeing her so engaged!

Fixer Holly

Since moving to the farm, Chad has mostly done the small mechanic jobs on our cars. This delights Holly to no end, because she is "Fixer Holly" the princess of fixing cars, houses, trains, toys, and broken hearts. Of course she has to help and of course she insists on doing so in her Tinkerbell ballet dress.

So cute. Holly is really growing up. We started her ballet classes this week and she was a hoot. She's really, really loving it. Every day this week she dressed in a tutu and even put one over her jammies every night at bedtime. She's pretty into it.

I'll see if I can get a picture this week of her in her actual real ballet clothes.