Some mornings Lil'Bug wakes up and is suddenly bigger and none of her clothes or shoes fit. Sometimes she is suddenly smarter or more mature. Today was one of those days. She woke up, got dressed, went to the bathroom, and headed downstairs to get food. She usually yells for help at some point much earlier than the kitchen, usually before getting out of bed. Today she raided the fridge for strawberries and found her bowl of dry Cheerios (snack). Lest you think I was neglectful, I stealthily trailed her to all activities, after all she's not yet 3.
She noticed me and smiled. "Look mama, strawberries!" I just grinned back.It was no big deal to her, why should I make a huge thing about it?
Some days she just amazes us with her observations and her sense of humor.
Lil'Bug has a vocabulary that is growing by leaps and bounds and sometimes adds new words to our repertoire: "Snuzzeling" is a snuggle and a cuddle initiated by a nose rubbing. She says it's what giraffes do. Ok.
Then there is Afrog the lallygagging alligator. She saw Muppet's' Treasure Island and loves the word lallygagging. Not sure she knows what it means, but still very cute. Afrog, she says, is a funny name for an alligator because he's not a frog. Chomp chomp chomp, mmmmm, yum yum yum.
She named a pair of hotwheels, Dog and Cat. Dog is the orange one and she says a girl gets to drive Dog. Why? Because it's fast! I think it is funny that she gets amusement by "naming" things other things that they are not. Does that make sense? :) She's also swimming and singing and dancing and drawing and many other things. No wonder I am all tired out!
Now for what we have been doing:
We spent almost all day yesterday at the Science Center. They have a new exhibit that is like ChuckECheese's arcade with a gross body function theme. They have a clown at the entrance that freaked both of us out. Once past that, Lil'Bug pretended to be an apple, and slid down the digestive track slide to come out poop. They also have smell stations for various body excretions. OMG yuck. For someone with morning sickness, it almost ended outing just walking by that part. For Lil'Bug it was all about playing with friends. She was so happy to see everybody. Me too.
We also went to see the IMAX Sea Monsters. It was really cool. I had never been to an IMAX before this year and I think I am hooked. A regular theatre just won't cut it anymore!
We came home and she wanted to watch her PMK DVD on zoo management again. She prefers this over anything else right now and I think she's seen it 10 times since we got it from the library the first time.
Ok, we're off to make lasagna!
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
Brain Spurt
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Tuesday, 23 October 2007
I'm really mad....
How's that for a deep and ominous title?
Another blogger has been posting (with the same dismay as I have) about some of the darker issues in our world: racism, bigotry, homophobia. Why don't people keep their stupidity to themselves? The hard truth of it is that they don't. They are proud of their hatred. They don't view it as such or as ignorance.
Recently a mom in a playgroup that I don't know why I go to was boasting about a method she chose to discipline her child's sleep issues. It involved locking the kid in a room and letting her cry and vomit herself to sleep. She seemed to be asking for input and so I said, "Yuck." I said that it was evil and cruel and would have long term consequences for the baby. I said she should research the harrowing statistics that are associated with the method including fatalities. I said yuck again. I said she should be a better mother. I said all of these things with more eloquence than I am relating it now. It should be no surprise that the other moms pounced on me. They thought the method was yucky too but that moms should not judge each other.
What she is touting amounts to child abuse. I had to say something. I had to write something.
I try my hardest to be a kind mother, one who respects her child's needs and personhood. I don't hit (or pinch or flick). I try not to yell. I try to be attentive to her interests and curiosities and provide safe environments for her to explore. I never force her to cry alone. Even our time outs are not punishment, but a cool off period. She is getting to the point where she will sometimes even realize she needs a cooling off period and initiate it herself. If the behavior warrants it, privileges are lost and we discuss why. It is more often than not a natural consequence.
Do most families really do things so differently? Is it really about "showing the kid who's boss"?
On my first day as a fledgling, yet (perhaps overly) eager teacher, my provost expressed a sentiment about teaching that is easily applied to parenthood - they may try to rile you or outwit you, but remember that you are the professor (parent) and you know things they don't that they need to learn from you. They need to know you are confident and calm and, more than anything else, that will bring peace to the dynamic.
Sometimes I get cranky (I know, I know . . but it's TRUE!) I always try to remember - screaming hasn't helped before and never will. But while I struggle sometimes (remember a blog entry about paint all over the kitchen floor?) I try to put it in perspective, and often end up being able to make a lot of fun, or a good lesson out of the situation. No matter what though - I'm doing my best to Parent (a verb!!), instead of playing dictator. If one mom went away from the group questioning the cruelty, I shone a light into a dark, dark place. I sometimes get the feeling (hearing a mom at a hair salon talk about how she left her 4 year old at a mall play place alone so she could get some 'peace for once' for example) that children are viewed as an accessory to be brought out when convenient. Perhaps that's overly harsh - perhaps it's overly honest.
The same goes when I stand up for my friends who chose love that is not accepted by some, or when I speak against racism (race itself has no biological basis... I mess with the census people insisting that I am all things on their list (why not? Its all made up anyway, why should my skin color matter to the gov't?)) and most of all when I speak of love: love for a child, a spouse, friends, or something you believe in.
Another blogger has been posting (with the same dismay as I have) about some of the darker issues in our world: racism, bigotry, homophobia. Why don't people keep their stupidity to themselves? The hard truth of it is that they don't. They are proud of their hatred. They don't view it as such or as ignorance.
Recently a mom in a playgroup that I don't know why I go to was boasting about a method she chose to discipline her child's sleep issues. It involved locking the kid in a room and letting her cry and vomit herself to sleep. She seemed to be asking for input and so I said, "Yuck." I said that it was evil and cruel and would have long term consequences for the baby. I said she should research the harrowing statistics that are associated with the method including fatalities. I said yuck again. I said she should be a better mother. I said all of these things with more eloquence than I am relating it now. It should be no surprise that the other moms pounced on me. They thought the method was yucky too but that moms should not judge each other.
What she is touting amounts to child abuse. I had to say something. I had to write something.
I try my hardest to be a kind mother, one who respects her child's needs and personhood. I don't hit (or pinch or flick). I try not to yell. I try to be attentive to her interests and curiosities and provide safe environments for her to explore. I never force her to cry alone. Even our time outs are not punishment, but a cool off period. She is getting to the point where she will sometimes even realize she needs a cooling off period and initiate it herself. If the behavior warrants it, privileges are lost and we discuss why. It is more often than not a natural consequence.
Do most families really do things so differently? Is it really about "showing the kid who's boss"?
On my first day as a fledgling, yet (perhaps overly) eager teacher, my provost expressed a sentiment about teaching that is easily applied to parenthood - they may try to rile you or outwit you, but remember that you are the professor (parent) and you know things they don't that they need to learn from you. They need to know you are confident and calm and, more than anything else, that will bring peace to the dynamic.
Sometimes I get cranky (I know, I know . . but it's TRUE!) I always try to remember - screaming hasn't helped before and never will. But while I struggle sometimes (remember a blog entry about paint all over the kitchen floor?) I try to put it in perspective, and often end up being able to make a lot of fun, or a good lesson out of the situation. No matter what though - I'm doing my best to Parent (a verb!!), instead of playing dictator. If one mom went away from the group questioning the cruelty, I shone a light into a dark, dark place. I sometimes get the feeling (hearing a mom at a hair salon talk about how she left her 4 year old at a mall play place alone so she could get some 'peace for once' for example) that children are viewed as an accessory to be brought out when convenient. Perhaps that's overly harsh - perhaps it's overly honest.
The same goes when I stand up for my friends who chose love that is not accepted by some, or when I speak against racism (race itself has no biological basis... I mess with the census people insisting that I am all things on their list (why not? Its all made up anyway, why should my skin color matter to the gov't?)) and most of all when I speak of love: love for a child, a spouse, friends, or something you believe in.
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Monday, 22 October 2007
Farm Crawling: Inch by Inch
In the sunshine is a little brown caterpillar inching through imminent danger, aka a chicken house full of hungry chickens:
Freedom! Well, almost. Not chicken dinner, but caught (we like to think rescued) by a boy.
What kind of caterpillar is it? What kind of butterfly/moth will it be?
Freedom! Well, almost. Not chicken dinner, but caught (we like to think rescued) by a boy.
What kind of caterpillar is it? What kind of butterfly/moth will it be?
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
Farm Crawling: Getting Your Goat
We hope to have sheep or goats someday. This was a neat milking parlor set up. The goats were very kind to Lil'Bug and the goat cheese so very yummy. It didn't keep well in the fridge though, much to my disappointment.
Mother, wife, sister, friend. This is our second year on the farm, a dream we've had since we were first married. We unschool, AP parent, and grow our own food (or try to).
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